


Melodic Minor

by Weisel



Category: No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:34:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 50,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weisel/pseuds/Weisel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rock Band AU set in 1997. Rated M for upcoming chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nothing gave Shion the same feeling of excited anticipation as the sound of guitar strings being tuned, whether it was himself or someone nearby. It always meant something good. It meant music was about to happen.

This time, it was the sound from his own guitar. 

The somewhat sour sounds became notes as he adjusted the tension of his guitar’s strings. He lightly strummed down once each string felt just right. The tones that reached his ears sweetly resonated through every last inch of him. He stayed completely still until he no longer felt the vibrations.

_Yes. We’re ready._

Shion gently picked out a melody, smiling to himself as his fingers played the notes he’d carefully memorized the night before. His eyes closed and he quietly hummed what would have been the vocal line if he’d ever have someone sing along. It was undoubtably satisfying to get a song just right, even if he was playing it alone.

A quick drumroll and a rimshot startled Shion back to reality.

“Are you done making love to your guitar yet? ‘Cause I’m getting sick just watching you. And I’m ready to hit some shit. Pretty sure I bombed my bio test last period and I’m pretty pissed.”

The annoyed voice was Inukashi’s, a freshman with the attitude of a senior. They’d met when he’d barged into a practice room where Shion had lost himself and ordered him to get out, claiming he needed that particular room to himself. By the end of the day, they’d played through a handful of songs together and agreed to meet there again when they could.

“Okay, tell me what you want to play.”

Inukashi bit his lip and frowned deeply, tapping out a steady row of sixteenth-notes as he thought. “Ummmmmm… Do you know this one?” He started an upbeat intro to a song.

_Right, this one. I remember now._

Shion joined in, hesitant at first, but quickly gained back his confidence as his fingers played out the notes just as he’d remembered them. He bit back a grin when their sounds locked together and the beat of the song felt like the beat of his own heart. They both paused at the end of the phrase for a measure of rests, then jumped back in with twice the energy. There was no hiding his smile now.

Their parts joined together in a syncopated rhythm for a few lines and Inukashi yelled out a satisfied ‘ha!’ when they played through it perfectly in time with each other. They kept going, Inukashi keeping their beat solid while the notes of Shion’s guitar deviated into a countermelody. Just before they jumped back into another verse, Inukashi froze.

“Shh!!”

Shion was just about to strum out his next chord when he stopped at the other’s command. There was a second of silence, then a very quiet voice from somewhere nearby picking up where they’d left off with the vocal line.

With one look at each other, both Inukashi and Shion leapt from their seats. Inukashi’s stool fell onto its side as he darted out the door. Shion nearly tripped himself over his amp cord while trying to run out to see who was singing, only to remember halfway through that he was a bit too wrapped up with his instrument to leave the room.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

He ducked his head through his guitar strap and tried to kick the loop of cord from around his foot while putting down the guitar. By some miracle, Shion managed to do it all without hurting himself or anything around him. He stumbled backwards out of the practice room and rushed over to Inukashi, who was hanging off the doorframe to get a good look down the hall. The voice had stopped, but there was only one person walking away where the hall bent around a corner.

“It’s—” Shion started, but forgot how to breathe for a second.

Thankfully, Inukashi finished for him.

“—the transfer student!”

The two stared in silence, even once the student was gone.

“Inukashi,” a voice started behind them.

They both turned their heads to look. It was the self-proclaimed music hallway monitor. Inukashi scowled and made a sound of disgust. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

“You can’t leave the music hallway during class periods without a hall pass signed by a teacher. I’ll have to—”

“I didn’t leave! See?” He pointed down to the floor, where his feet just barely stood behind the threshold of the door. “Still in the music hall!”

She huffed and stood straighter in an attempt to look down on them. “Well! You’ve been warned!”

“That’s nice,” Shion commented offhandedly, taking ahold of Inukashi’s hand to help him lean back in the doorway without stepping over the forbidden line.

“Why, you—!”

Shion stared at the girl, waiting for her to finish her sentence. They stayed that way for several seconds before she huffed again and walked away from them. He looked at Inukashi when she did, not quite following what was going on.

“Shion, you creep people out when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Stare at them. It’s kinda scary with the red eyes thing you got going on.”

“But I’m just  _looking_  at them…”

Inukashi shrugged and walked back into their practice room. “Just telling you how it is. Anyway, we got more important things to deal with than bitches on power trips,” he said, setting the stool upright again and sitting down. “That transfer student… Shion, you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”

Shion had just settled back in his own chair with his guitar. He gave Inukashi a very serious look and nodded. “Most likely!”

“Dork,” Inukashi snickered to himself at the other’s behavior before continuing on. “We gotta get him to sing for us. Maybe we can actually get somewhere with a third person, you know?”

“But how?”

“Well, I know he’s in your grade, so why don’t you talk to him between classes?”

“But… What do I even say to him?”

Inukashi shrugged. “I don’t know, offer to help with homework or something stupid like that. He’s already two weeks behind in classes now, anyway. It’s worth a shot if you don’t have any better ideas.”

Shion leaned forward over his crossed arms on his guitar, looking down at the floor. “Do you really think it’ll work? We don’t know anything about him. He might not even want to play with us at all.”

Inukashi sighed and looked over at Shion. “We don’t know until we try. We got nothing to lose, anyway. We’re just a couple of students skipping class to dick around on our instruments.”

“Right…” Shion met Inukashi’s gaze and nodded. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning.”

Inukashi held out his hand and Shion grasped it firmly.

“Alright, Shion. I hate to say this, but I’m counting on you!”


	2. Chapter 2

_Ten… Thirty-two… Twenty-one…_

It was just like any other school he’d transferred to: unfamiliar, unpleasant, and unimpressive. Nezumi was sure he’d get sick of it in no time at all.

With an annoyed sigh, he tried to open his locker with no luck.

_Great, another fucked up locker._

He gave it another try, not changing his method at all, and the metal door swung open. It only annoyed him more to know he’d been assigned a temperamental locker that started and stopped working for no apparent reason. He took off his backpack and unzipped it, tossing a few things onto the top shelf. He was about to shut his locker when he felt something close to him, though he wasn’t sure what, but it felt rather ominous. Very slowly, Nezumi looked to his left.

A pair of red eyes were staring up at him.

_What the fuck?!_

It took everything he had not to react. He stared back down at whoever it was.

“…Can I help you?”

“You’re the transfer student that started here yesterday, right?”

Nezumi gave him a slow nod, not sure what was wrong with the person standing a little too close. “Yes, that’s me…”

“Are you doing anything before homeroom?”

He wasn’t, but he also was hesitant to give any kind of opening for the other.

“…No.”

“I wanted to ask you something, but you seemed busy, so, um. Okay.”

_Who the hell is this kid?_

“Y-You just got here so you’re behind with all your work, right?”

Nezumi couldn’t read the strange student at all.

“…Yes.”

“That’s two whole weeks of schoolwork to catch up on.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Let me do your assignments.”

_Does this guy think I’m an idiot?!_

He glared back coldly. “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got this.” Nezumi shut his locker with a slam he hoped would show he was done with their conversation.

“But— No!”

Nezumi crossed his arms and stared down at the other, completely unamused. He got a good look of the other, noting he had oddly pure white hair, a bandaid on his face, and an extremely nervous demeanor. Nezumi didn’t say a word.

“I meant— I can get it all done for you by tomorrow!”

“I said ‘I’ve got this.’ Or do you really think I’m a complete idiot who needs a total stranger to hold my hand through my first day of school? I’m not five.”

The red eyes staring up at him widened even more.

“Th-That’s not what I’m saying! No! I-I mean, I know it’s a nuisance to catch up while still keeping up with your current work but I’m offering to do it for you since I can do it really fast and it’s not like I have anything else to do here anyway so I get pretty bored so it’s not a problem for me at all and then maybe when I’m done we could talk about some things?”

Nezumi’s stare didn’t waver. He stayed silent while the other tripped over his own words even more.

“O-Okay, so I wanted to talk about some stuff, music stuff, like maybe you could—” He struggled and tried again. “Er, Inukashi, um, my friend and I were playing in one of the practice rooms yesterday and we heard you singing so I wanted to ask— I-I—” He ran his fingers though his hair and nervously glanced at the hall around them. “I’ll do all your schoolwork if you sing for us!”

Nezumi didn’t know what his deal was, and he certainly wasn’t impressed.

“No.”

“A-Ah, but—!”

Nezumi walked away, leaving the other behind. A moment later, there were footsteps beside his own.

_Should’ve known he’d be hard to get rid of._

“O-Okay, will you sing for us if I  _don’t_  do your schoolwork?”

“I’m not singing for you. I don’t even know who the hell you are.”

“Oh! Shit— Um!” He sounded like he was having difficulty keeping himself together. It was almost embarrassing to be near him. “I’m Shion, and I know your name’s Nezumi, we’re both juniors—”

“Great. Now,  _Shion_ , leave me the fuck alone. I don’t need you following me around.”

There was a small sound from the other, but his footsteps stopped. Nezumi kept walking, not even glancing back. A small part of him almost felt bad for shooting down the first person to talk to him at his new school. Almost.

Thankfully, he didn’t see Shion for the rest of the day. But at the same time, no one else said a word to him.

_Maybe that was too mean…_

He had to admit it would have been nice to have at least a little help finding his classrooms.

_But that Shion kid is a fucking weirdo. Probably has some crazy issues._

Nezumi sighed in frustration and looked down at his schedule again. He’d passed through this hallway twice and still couldn’t find the classroom he was looking for. He was starting to believe the rooms had been numbered in a random order when the school was built.

“Excuse me, do you have a hall pass?”

Nezumi turned to see who had addressed him. The last thing he wanted was to talk to the kind of person that would be asking for a hall pass.

_I don’t know who the fuck this guy is, but he’s already pissing me off. I’m not dealing with this shit._

He smiled politely. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just transferred here, so I was having trouble finding my next class. But I’m fairly certain it’s right in here.” Nezumi opened the nearest door and waved his hand as he went inside. “Thank you for your concern!”

Nezumi shut the door and scowled down at his schedule. It seemed useless trying to find his next class anymore. After shoving the folded paper into his pocket, he looked around where he’d ended up.

It wasn’t what he’d expected to find at all. It wasn’t a room, but rather another smaller hallway. One of the walls was lined with lockers of varying sizes. Some of their doors hung open and empty instrument cases were left haphazardly in front of them. A few muffled melodies from different rooms told him exactly where those instruments were right now.

_Definitely could be worse._

He slowly walked down the hall, taking in the details around him. This hall certainly had more personality than the rest of school, that was for sure. On the side opposite of the lockers were several doors with only a small window to show what was inside. Nezumi looked in as he passed one. Inside was a student with a trumpet who seemed completely absorbed in whatever he was playing.

_Practice rooms. Good to know._

He stood still, hands in his pockets, and listened to the sounds that snuck out of each room. Now that he was listening for it, he could hear the trumpet. Nearby was a piano and a trombone playing a duet. In the room at the very end of the hall, it sounded like a small ensemble was starting a rehearsal.

There was one melody that stood out from the rest, though. Amongst all the notes of acoustic instruments was a string of notes that sounded harsh and distorted, almost like…

_Who the hell is playing a guitar that well in this shitty school?_

He walked by all the rooms until he was certain he’d found the room with the guitarist inside. He tried to look in, only to find that several stickers were placed on the window to block the view inside.

_I shouldn’t bother someone while they’re practicing, but…_

Nezumi’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided it was worth the risk of upsetting someone to find out who was in there. He took a deep breath, gave a single sharp knock on the door, and opened it up.

“I was just—”

“I’m—”

His voice overlapped with someone else’s and he cut himself off. He didn’t have the words to finish his sentence anyway when he saw who was inside.

_No way._

The student from that morning, Shion, was perched comfortably on a chair with an electric guitar in his hands.

“Oh,” was all Nezumi could manage.

“I-I… I’m sorry…?” the other said rather weakly. He looked somewhere between sad and confused.

Nezumi was at a loss as to what he should say or do. The guilt he’d dismissed that morning crept back into his mind.

Shion looked away, then back again. “Do you need this room? Because I really… really don’t want to… I mean, I—” He cleared his throat and looked down. “Sorry. I’ll get out.”

“I… didn’t expect to find you in here.”

“Sorry, I’ll be out in just a minute.” Shion turned off the small amp nearby and pulled the cord from his guitar, quickly wrapping it into a tidy loop all while avoiding eye contact.

“No, I meant I thought someone else would be in here.”

Shion paused and looked up at Nezumi. “Who’re you looking for? I might know where they are.”

“I mean that I wasn’t expecting to open the door to find out the guy I told to fuck off this morning is actually a hell of a guitar player,” he admitted truthfully.

Shion leaned forward on his guitar and crossed his arms across it. The heavy coil he’d just wound up slid to his elbow. “Look, Nezumi,” he started, but hesitated and glanced away. “I… I don’t know what you want from me here. I stayed away from you all day, I’m giving up my practice room for you…” He let out a shaky sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before looking up at Nezumi again. “Did you decide you want me to do your homework? ‘Cause I’ll still do it…”

Shion looked distraught and tired while he struggled to figure out something Nezumi himself didn’t even have the answer for.

_This is my own fault. He’s a wreck because of me._

Nezumi stepped into the small room and shut the door. He casually sat in a chair that was pushed into a corner.

“Do— Do you  _want_  me to leave?” Shion hesitantly started uncurling himself from around his guitar to stand up. “I-I don’t really know what you want, I’m trying, I—”

“No, stay there.”

Shion returned to his seat, holding his guitar as though it might somehow protect him. He stayed quiet and glanced at Nezumi a few times.

“Are you like this with everyone?”

“Huh?! Like what?” Shion stammered back.

“You look terrified. Do you act like this all the time?”

“N-No, I usually don’t care at all. Or give up my practice room. Or feel this shitty.”

_Yeah, okay, maybe I was a little too mean before._

Shion wrapped his hands around the fretboard of his guitar and put his head down. His crossed forearms blocked any view Nezumi might have had of his face. He noticed one of the fingers clinging to the guitar twitched incessantly.

“I’m sorry, Nezumi. I’m not good at this kind of stuff and I didn’t know how to talk to you this morning. I heard you singing yesterday afternoon and I really wanted to ask if you’d sing for me since you sounded really nice and I’ve never played with someone singing along. I’ve never had to ask someone anything like that before and all I can do in return is your schoolwork. I don’t know how to be nice or make someone like me or whatever. Plus it’s hard to talk to really pretty people.” He let out a shaky exhale. “Can you please leave now?”

_More than just a little mean. Shit…_

“Can we start over?”

Shion raised his head to look at Nezumi. “Huh?”

“I’m saying I want to give you another chance. And want you to give me another chance, too.”

He offered a hand to Shion and smiled. Shion looked at it for a long moment before reaching out and grasping it in a firm hold.

“Nice to meet you, Nezumi. Again.” He looked like he’d tasted something bitter. “This feels stupid.”

“Yeah, okay, I guess it kinda is.”

They released their somewhat awkward handshake, Nezumi sitting back in his chair again and Shion wrapping his hand around his guitar once more.

“But seriously, if you don’t want something, I don’t want you in here.”

Nezumi laughed. “Alright, I can believe all that shit you said earlier. You really don’t know how to make someone like you.”

“Because it doesn’t matter! Why waste my time faking it around people when I can be myself on my own?”

“Good point.”

Shion looked irritated and unwrapped his arms from around his guitar. “So do you want something or not?” He settled himself with his guitar ready to play. “I asked if you’d sing for me, you said no, so I’m done trying. Why are you still here?”

“Maybe ‘no’ isn’t my final answer.”

“Either way, I’m done. You obviously don’t like me and I’d rather be alone.”

“Who said I don’t like you?”

“Who said I wanted you in here?”

“Are you usually this difficult?”

“Are you usually this pushy?”

“What’s your deal, Shion?”

“What’s  _your_  deal, Nezumi?”

“Why do you look like that?”

“Why are you so pretty?”

“What?”

“What?”

The questions stopped there and the two stared at each other. Then Shion ignored everything they’d just said and glared at the other side of the room instead. He exhaled heavily and his fingers plucked out a muted tune.

“You could plug it back in.”

“You could leave.”

Nezumi leaned forward and grabbed one end of the cord still coiled around Shion’s arm. Shion made no move neither to stop nor help him. With a little difficulty, Nezumi plugged the guitar back in and turned on the amp. It let out a harsh noise for a second before sounding out the melody that had only barely been audible a moment before. Nezumi listened to the tune, eventually recognizing it.

_That’s… a song that doesn’t have lyrics._

When Shion got bored with the first song, he started up another.

_Another song that doesn’t have lyrics. He’s totally doing this on purpose._

Nezumi sighed and watched Shion’s fingers easily move their way across the fretboard. Regardless of how difficult the songs were, it looked as natural as breathing with the way he played.

“So… do you just do this all day?”

“Yeah.”

“They let you stay in here instead of making you go to class?”

“No. But I get the best grades in this school, so what’re they gonna do?”

“Uh-huh…”

“I told you before, I do my work really fast and then I’m bored. I’m not sitting in a class I don’t need to be in stuck with people I don’t get along with. This place is hell enough.”

Nezumi nodded. He had no idea he could be so completely wrong about judging someone.

“So… music’s your thing.”

Shion still didn’t look at Nezumi. “Yes. Music is my thing,” he echoed back in an annoyed tone. “Is pissing people off your thing?”

“I—” Nezumi started to argue back, then laughed. “Actually, you could probably say that, I won’t lie.”

“You’re pretty good at it.”

He laughed again. He watched Shion for a long moment. Something about the way he refused to look back at him bothered Nezumi.

“Hey, Shion.”

“What.” Shion still kept his eyes in a harsh glare directed at the wall.

“I think I like you after all.”

“That makes one of us.”

Nezumi began to laugh, but was cut off my a loud, ugly chord. His smile disappeared and Shion’s eyes finally met his own.

“Why are you still here?! I’m shutting myself in here so I  _don’t_  have to deal with shit like this!”

“Well, I wanted to sing, but you keep playing songs that don’t have words.”

“Huh, funny I’d do that,” Shion spat back sarcastically. “Maybe there’s another empty room where you can sing instead.”

“I don’t think any of them have moody guitarists to accompany me, though.”

Shion hung his head down and let out a sound of exasperation, scratching his pick down his strings and making the amp screech.

“Doesn’t get much moodier than that.”

Shion stayed still and silent, slumped over his guitar. Nezumi felt a little bad for just how much he was harassing the other, but it was also far too entertaining.

_I think I’ve fucked with him enough for today, though._

“Alright, I’ll stop talking. I just want to listen for a while. I haven’t been around good music in a really long time.”

“I’m not here to entertain you, you know.”

Nezumi didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned his chair back onto two legs and propped up his feet on the wall opposite of himself, looking quite content. After a moment, the introduction to a song began to fill the room. Nezumi closed his eyes and smiled in satisfaction.

It didn’t last long at all though, neither the feeling nor the melody. There was a slight sound of movement. Nezumi opened his eyes to see what Shion was doing and it took everything he had to keep himself from reacting. Shion was leaning over him, his face only a few inches away.

They stayed that way for several long seconds, Shion glaring down and Nezumi lazily staring back up.

“…So am I supposed to be intimidated or something?”

Shion blinked and moved back an inch. “You’re not creeped out?”

“No, not creeped out. Maybe a little concerned about your mental health, but otherwise completely unperturbed .”  


“What…?” Shion pushed himself back up with his palm on the wall above Nezumi. “No, that works on everyone, even when I don’t mean…” He trailed off and took a step back, looking even more frustrated. Then his guitar was back in his hands, ready to play. Shion kept glaring angrily as he wordlessly churned out a rather aggressive string of phrases.

_Where exactly is he going with this…?_

He listened through the melody, only to suddenly feel extremely agitated.

He looked up to see Shion standing there, paused just after the up-strum before the final chord. The wicked smirk on his face told him exactly what he was doing.

_You sick motherfucker…_

He felt like he couldn’t speak or even breathe until those strings played out the end of the song.

_Have suspended chords always felt so fucking painful?_

The silence stretched on and the tension remained in the air.

Nezumi let his chair fall forward onto all of its legs and he leaned towards the other. “…You’re not going to play the resolving chord?!”

Shion gave him a malicious grin. “That’s right.”

The moment Nezumi realized the other was just trying to bother him, he hid any sign that it was working. “That’s a shame. It doesn’t sound very good when you do that.”

“It’s right there, Nezumi.”

“Huh?”

Shion gestured his left hand forward a bit. His fingers were pressed to the strings for the chord Nezumi was aching to hear. “One strum. That’s it.”

Nezumi gave him an unimpressed look. “You really think this is going to work?”

“Oh, I  _know_ it’s working.”

It made Nezumi extremely uncomfortable to have someone like Shion actually holding some kind of power over him when he’d so easily put him down just that morning.

Shion took a step closer, bringing his guitar into Nezumi’s reach. “Why don’t you just… play it?”

“No.”

“It’s right there.”

“I don’t care.”

“Of course you don’t.” Shion came closer, standing directly in front of him. “Something like this wouldn’t bother you  _at all.”_

Nezumi crossed his arms and looked up with an uncaring stare. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Oh, okay.” Once more, Shion’s fingers played the last phrase without resolving into the final chord. “Good thing, since I don’t know if I can remember the right chord anyway. Was it… maybe this?” He played a chord that clashed horribly with the one prior. “Oh, no, I think it was this.” Another disgustingly unfitting chord filled the room and made its way under Nezumi’s skin.

“You  _bastard!”_  He stood up from his chair and wrapped his fingers around Shion’s left hand, clamping it tight to the fretboard. “Play it fucking  _right._ ”

A choked sound came through the amp when Shion strummed down on the strings. He smiled up at Nezumi. “I can’t. Not with your hand stopping mine like that.”

Nezumi scowled and took his hand off the guitar. There was another strum, but none of Shion’s fingertips were pressed to the strings.

“Oh, shit, I forgot how to play  _anything…_ ”

“No you didn’t, you little—!”

Nezumi roughly moved Shion’s fingers to what he hoped were the right notes. As soon as he’d started, Shion strummed up and down on all the strings over and over. The sound felt like sandpaper being shoved into Nezumi’s ears. He worked faster to try to find the right chord and make it stop hurting. The increasing speed of Shion’s strumming only agitated him more.

Shion laughed aloud at Nezumi’s obvious frustration. “What if we  _never_  find th—”

A sudden sound Nezumi didn’t quite recognize cut off the words. Shion froze where he was and his smile vanished. Nezumi let go as well, sensing something very bad had happened. It felt like time itself had stopped when seconds dragged on soundlessly.

The silence was broken only when Shion swallowed hard and let out a shaky exhale. His red eyes still stared up unblinkingly at Nezumi, even as he stepped back from him.

“You can have the practice room. I’m going home.”

Nezumi almost asked what had happened when the answer caught his eye in a tiny sliver of light. He glanced over to see it reflecting from something by their hands. A wire, the first string of Shion’s guitar, was broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I’m getting back in the swing of things, I thought I’d give you an (abbreviated, I ran over the character count by a couple thousand) explanation of things that might not be clear immediately. I know a lot of readers will stop after one or two chapters when they decide I’m writing the characters OOC. I can certainly see why it seems that way at first, but there really is a reason for these differences.
> 
> I’d like to explain how this shapes the characters to be completely different in terms of behavior. I basically took their major traits and the important parts of their personalities, the cores to their beings as people, and played their lives out through this setting. Things would be very different if I had simply taken the cast as they are in their canon setting and dropped them into my story’s setting. It’s the same person, but shaped to think and behave in a different manner.
> 
> So why is Shion such an awful student? Well, most of us know what school’s like, and I think we can all agree that No.6’s education system is completely different from our own. Shion is an incredibly intelligent person with amazing memorization skills. Our schools don’t care one bit about students like him. They get placed with everyone else. Shion would have a super easy time just getting everything memorized and done. The rest of his time would likely be spent trying to forget the fact that he was stuck in school, his own personal hell, which leads me to my next topic.
> 
> Why is Shion such a little foulmouthed jerk? It should only take a moment to think of just how well students accept anyone who’s different. Unless you were very lucky and blind to the uglier side of the social systems in high school. Anyone different is rarely just allowed to disappear amongst everyone else. No, anything different has to be pointed out, turned into a flaw, used as an insult. It takes a miracle to be accepted with any difference. It’s either admiration or hate, and it usually turns out to be the latter.
> 
> Poor Shion spent nearly his entire life being forced to be around others who only saw him as someone to pick on. Once it starts, the rest of the way is an ugly train wreck of complete torture. One person decides to pick on someone, then another person, and another, and soon there’s a group mentality, a collective idea, that that particular person is not a person at all but rather just a source of cruel entertainment. Students will be brutal to each other without a second thought.
> 
> Shion's taken years and years of this abuse from his classmates. There’s no way anyone could go through that completely unscathed. So, in perspective, Shion is still practically an angel for what he’s dealt with. Some of you may understand just how infuriating it all is, how much anger builds up and threatens to come out in violent ways. Surely anyone else would have done some very bad things out of frustration in Shion’s position. Aside from his own disregard for general classroom rules, he never tries to cause problems. He doesn’t provoke anyone, only mouths off when he feels harassed, and passively takes a majority of the hate thrown at him. Instead of being destructive out of spite, he does his best to simply remove himself from such a poisonous environment. And so that practice room has become his sanctuary, a place where the only negativity can come from himself.
> 
> To deal with what seems like a frustrating life with no meaning, Shion escapes with music. It’s completely mentally engaging and taps into one’s emotions as well. Any musician can agree that there’s nothing else quite like it. At least for the time he’s able to play his guitar, Shion is the happiest he can be in his situation. And not only is it an escape for him, it’s also a way to use his memorization skills. He’ll remember any song he listens to and play it right back. That’s his way of challenging himself, which school’s never been able to do for him.
> 
> So while I can dump all of that information about Shion, you’ll all have to be patient with my awkwardly paced updates (I’m really really sorry) to find out Nezumi’s dirty secrets. I doubt you’ll be disappointed when we get into that mess.
> 
> I hope that clears up anything that might have caused doubt or confusion so far! And I’m glad you’ve been reading my story!


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, Shion.”

He ignored Nezumi and instead packed his belongings as quickly as he possibly could. Shion wanted to scream, to cry, to break something, but most of all to be alone. After winding up the amp cable again, he closed the outer pocket of his case and slung the strap over his shoulder.

_I don’t want to be here anymore. I hate this. I hate this so much._

Nezumi tried to stop him again, but he slipped past and walked down the hall towards the double doors that led into the main hallway.

“Shion! You can’t leave in the middle of the class period without a pass signed by a teacher!”

“That’s really fucking great,” he muttered without looking at the girl who’d called after him, walking out without a second of hesitation.

He walked down the empty corridor at a brisk pace, only to hear footsteps out of time with his own.

“Shion, that wasn’t my fault, was it? Your string?”

He still refused to look at the other. “No. That was me. I was being stupid.”

“But it’s an easy fix, right? Happens all the time. Just replace the string, yeah?”

“Yep, that’s it. Very easy to fix. If you have an extra string.”

The two stopped at Shion’s locker. It only took a second for him to open it and all he took out of it was a coat.

“But those are easy to get as far as I know. Is there a music shop around?”

Shion took the case from his shoulder, shrugged his coat on, and looped the strap back over himself. “There’s one a couple blocks from here.”

“And they have guitar strings?”

Shion nodded and headed down the hall towards the exit. “Yes, they have guitar strings.”

“So… just buy a new guitar string.”

Shion let out a frustrated sigh and didn’t answer, opening the first set of doors to get outside. He glanced at Nezumi who was still right there with him.

“You’re coming with me?”

“Yeah. Not much else to do, right?”

Shion looked over him and hesitated. “No coat? It’s fucking cold out.”

Nezumi held his head high with a faint smile on his face. “Don’t have one.”

“So just buy a coat.”

Shion started to push the door open when he realized Nezumi had remained a few steps back. He leaned against the door without opening it just yet and looked back at him.

The small smile was gone from Nezumi’s face. “Yeah. Pretty stupid of me, huh? I should just buy a coat.”

Shion chewed his lip and shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes never straying from the other. “I’m pretty stupid, too, I guess. I should get over myself and just buy a new string.”

_We’re not so different, are we?_

They looked at each other without saying a word for a long moment.

“Do you two have permission to leave?”

They both looked back to see one of the secretaries peering out at them from the inner set of doors.

Shion cleared his throat. “Yeah. My albinism is really acting up and my mom can’t come get me so he’s walking me home. I could pass out on the way there. You know, safety precaution.”

The secretary looked only half-convinced, but closed the door again anyway. Shion grabbed Nezumi’s hand and pulled him outside before any second thoughts could be had. A few steps away from the building, Nezumi started snickering.

“Your  _albinism_? Seriously?”

Shion shrugged. “It keeps working somehow. I can’t believe they haven’t caught on.”

They walked to the sidewalk in silence, the wind biting at them mercilessly in frequent gusts that would have muted any conversation anyway. They stopped once they reached the end and both of them glanced either way down the street. Nezumi hunched his shoulders forward and shivered against the cold, squinting a bit.

“Am I actually walking you home? If not, I kind of need my hand back.”

Shion looked down to see what the other was talking about when he realized his hand was still firmly holding onto Nezumi’s and shoved into his coat pocket.

“O-Oh, um—”

He loosened his hold for a moment.

_By the looks of it, this is probably the warmest part of him right now._

Shion tightened his grip again and looked up at Nezumi. “Yeah. Gotta watch out for that albinism.”

Nezumi let out a small laugh, ducked down his head more, and sniffled. The fingers of his free hand were curled tight inside his sleeve, holding onto the hem in a hopeless attempt to keep them from going any more numb. His eyes fought to stay open against the wind chill.

_Jeez, now I really feel bad for bitching about something as small as a broken string. He looks miserable._

“A-Are we going or not?”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s this way.”

Shion led them down a couple blocks and around two turns at a rather brisk pace. Only when they reached the door did he let go of Nezumi’s hand to get out his key. He felt cruel for every second that passed with the door still locked. After fumbling with the doorknob for a bit, Shion got the it open and pushed Nezumi inside first. He shut the door once they were both in the warmth of the indoors and locked it again.

“Shion? Is that you?”

“Yeah, mom, it’s me,” Shion answered back as he ducked out from the strap of his guitar case and pulled off his coat.

“Honey, school’s not over yet.”

A woman with brown hair and dark eyes, about the same height as Shion, appeared in a doorway. Her name was Karan, but was generally only addressed as ‘mom’ in their small household.

Shion sniffled and picked up his case again. “You know, the albinism again.”

“You really can’t be skipping school all the time like this.”

“Yeah, I can.” He said it simply as a matter of fact.

Karan sighed. “Alright, you really  _shouldn’t_  be skipping school all the time.”

“Why not? It’s not like I’m ever going to get behind on work.”

She sighed again and ran her fingers through Shion’s hair with an expression that wasn’t quite a frown or a smile. “Let’s have this conversation after dinner, alright?”

“Okay, but nothing’s changed. It’ll be the same thing all over again.”

After sighing yet again, Karan looked over to Nezumi. “Is this a friend of yours, Shion?” She gave him a gentle smile.

“Oh, not really. Well, I know him. Sort of. I met him this morning, he told me to f— to leave him alone, and I held his hand for the ten minutes it took to walk here. Not sure if that’s classified as friendship.”

Shion’s mother gave him the half-smile, half-frown look again before smiling at Nezumi. “And what’s your friend’s name?”

“ _Is_  he my friend now?”

“Yes. What’s his name?”

“Nezumi.”

She held out a hand to Nezumi. “Hi, Nezumi. I’m Karan, Shion’s mom.”

“It’s good to meet you, Karan. You seem like a very lovely, patient woman.” Nezumi reached out and took her hand.

She smiled wider and gave his hand a warm squeeze. After a moment, she looked surprised. “Oh, dear, your hands are freezing! Don’t you have any gloves to wear in this weather?”

“He’s—”

“I appreciate your concern,” Nezumi said with a smile, immediately cutting Shion’s sentence off, “but you don’t need to worry about me.”

“It’s a mother’s job to worry,” she replied, but left it at that. By the way she continued to smile up at him, it was clear that Karan had been easily charmed by Nezumi’s overall eloquence. “Shion, I think you should spend more time with Nezumi. Maybe some of his politeness will rub off on you.”

“Do we have any coffee? Never mind, I’ll look.”

Karan helplessly watched her son walk back into the kitchen. She anxiously clasped her hands together and gave Nezumi an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, he can be a little, ah… well,  _tactless_  at times…”

Nezumi laughed for a second and smiled back. “Don’t worry, he’s already growing on me.”

“I can hear both of you, you know.” Shion was back in the doorway next to his mother, drinking something steaming from a mug. He held out another steaming mug to Nezumi. “And I’m not growing on anyone.”

Nezumi let out a short laugh and accepted the mug from Shion’s hand. “Whatever you say.”

“And I say I’m not growing on you.”

Nezumi bowed deeper than really necessary and hid a grin, carefully holding his coffee out of the way. “Yes, your majesty.”

“Mm,” was all Shion said in response, shrugging slightly and taking a sip from his mug.

“So… what are you boys planning on doing with your afternoon?”

“Nezumi’ll probably pi— annoy the heck out of me at some point.”

Nezumi side-eyed Shion, a slight frown on his face. “Maybe… homework?”

“I don’t do homework at home.”

“Okay, we’re not going to do homework. So, we’ll probably do whatever Shion wants.”

“Well, alright…” Karan smiled, but looked concerned all the same. “Shion, did something happen at school today?”

“I met him,” Shion gestured his mug toward Nezumi, “and my first string broke. So it was pretty sh— awful.”

“Oh, dear…” Karan frowned. “Maybe we can work out something to get you a replacement string.”

“I’m not going to go to all my classes just to get one string. It’d be way easier to just steal one.”

“Shion!” she chastised, “You can’t steal things!”

“Okay.” Shion nodded and took another drink of his coffee.

Nezumi cleared his throat quietly and switched his mug to his other hand. “Shion, why don’t we go to your room?”

“You want to?”

“Yes, Shion. I want to.”

Shion stared up at the other for a long moment. Karan looked between them with unease.

“…Okay.” Shion straightened up from leaning against the doorframe and walked away.

Karan gave Nezumi another smile, though it somehow seemed slightly pained. Nezumi smiled wider and shook his head before following after Shion into another room.

“Not really hard to find. It’s kinda tiny here.” Shion had just tossed his shoes into the open closet and was settling on the far side of his bed when Nezumi walked in.

The room was as equally cramped as the rest of the house. The bed took up most of the space, and the only other furniture fit inside was a dresser and a bedside table where Shion had placed his coffee. It wasn’t messy by any means, but the few untidy things made it appear otherwise.

After a moment of glancing over the room, Nezumi picked up a stack of papers from the top of the dresser and set down his own mug. “What’s this?”

“Not yours.”

“Yeah, I figured that one out. I’m talking about what’s written on here.”

He held up the first page to show Shion. It was staff paper littered with fragments of musical phrases, none of it actually forming a song at all.

“Oh. I used that one to figure out some stuff I couldn’t quite get by ear. Guess I should throw that away.”

“Why?”

“I don’t need it anymore. I’ll never look at it again.”

Nezumi leafed through the rest of the papers, noting they had all been used for the same purpose. “What about the rest of these?”

“Oh, right. I think that’s the pile I was going to throw out yesterday but then I got distracted and never got around to it.”

After a moment of glancing through the pages, Nezumi placed them back on the dresser and sat on the other end of the bed. He frowned slightly and his fingers tapped out a silent rhythm on his knees. He turned his head and glanced over Shion, who was watching him very carefully.

Even with the other now looking at him, Shion didn’t say a word.

_Now that I’m not so focused on being pissed off at him and he doesn’t look like a sad puppy left outside to freeze to death…_

He stared at Nezumi, his eyes settling on the other’s gray ones. His heart seemed to skip a beat and he swallowed hard.

_How did I not notice how incredible his eyes are?! They’re like… like…_

“We both know the albinism excuse is shit, so why’d you bring me here?”

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen!” The words were out of Shion’s mouth before he could stop himself.

“Um—”

_Shit!!_

“D-Do you wanna listen to some music?!” he choked out, subconsciously scooting himself back another couple inches.

Nezumi was silent for a moment. “…Sure.”

Shion quickly pointed to the dresser. “Top drawer. Pick out a tape.”

Nezumi pushed himself up off the bed and opened the drawer, which was filled with several rows of cassette tapes. On the far side was a very small stack of CDs.

“CDs? Pretty ritzy here, Shion.”

“They’re not mine!”

“Oh?” He glanced back, waiting for an explanation.

“I’m borrowing them from the guy who runs the music shop I said was nearby but I can’t listen to them right now so you have to pick out a tape.”

Nezumi nodded after listening to Shion’s rushed sentence and returned to looking through each row. When the silence seemed to go on for too long, he started humming to himself. Finally, he picked one out and shut the drawer. He held it out to Shion.

“Here, this one.”

Shion reached out and took it. He got onto his knees and reached down beside the bed. After opening the case, he placed the tape into a small cassette player that was under the bedside table. He pressed the button to start and turned up the volume to a comfortable level, then pushed himself back up. He snapped the case shut, set it on top of the table, and turned his head to look at Nezumi, only to see he was closer than before.

_“Ahh!!”_

Shion immediately tried to shove the other away. He was immediately stopped, his wrists firmly held a couple inches from his target. With a gasp, he lost his balance from leaning his weight forward onto his knees on the uneven mattress.

_“Fuck!!”_

He flinched in anticipation of hitting the floor, but his weight remained exactly where it was. With a shaky exhale, Shion opened his eyes and blinked several times. One of the hands that had been around his wrist was now tightly holding his shoulder.

“Jeez, Shion, I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything, I promise.” Nezumi eased him back to sit on his knees again.

“Y-You should go home.”

“Right now? Really?”

“Yeah, right now. Really.” Shion didn’t look at the other and instead fussed with his fingers anxiously on his lap.

“Why?”

Shion didn’t stop wringing his hands and refused still to make eye contact. “Remember that thing I said this morning about really pretty people? How it’s hard to talk to them?”

“Yeah… Shion, you think I’m really pretty?”

“W-Well, you  _are,_  there’s no reason to lie about it…”

He bit his lip and finally looked up to see Nezumi with a smug smirk on his face.

“What’s that look for?”

Nezumi didn’t say anything, but instead started laughing.

“Don’t laugh at me, asshole!”

Nezumi only laughed harder and stood up from the bed. For a second Shion thought he was going to leave until Nezumi leaned down and scooped him up in his arms.

“Wh-What?! No!!”

Just as soon as it happened, he was tossed back onto the bed. Before he could sit up again, his head was pushed down and held in place by a pillow.

“You can’t see me now, so it’s not a problem anymore, right?”

Shion made a sound of shocked exasperation. “All of that just to cover my eyes?!”

“Well, yeah.”

“I don’t think I like you, Nezumi.”

“I don’t think I like how difficult you are, Shion.”

“Boys, is something wro— Oh!”

Karan had walked in to see what all the yelling had been about only to find Shion laying on his bed and Nezumi standing next to him with one hand holding a pillow over his face.

“E-Excus—”

“Oh, sorry you had to see this, Karan. It’s just that your son was having difficulty looking at me and speaking at the same time. I was hoping to talk to him more, so…”

Shion crossed his arms over his chest and let out a huff. “I don’t think I like being Nezumi’s friend.”

Nezumi laughed and lifted the pillow from Shion’s face, leaning over to look down at him. “Too bad. You’re the only one I’ve got.”

“W-Well, I—” Shion glared back and tried to somehow argue back, but struggled. “I-I have two— er— if I count you. I mean—”

Nezumi laughed again. “Are you trying to insult me?”

“Sort of, yeah!”

After hearing Shion say something remotely close to saying Nezumi was his friend, Karan reasoned it was fine for her to leave. She looked at Nezumi with a small smile. “Just don’t be too rough with him. He’s a bit fragile.”

“I am  _not_ —”

Nezumi dropped the pillow back onto Shion’s face. “You have nothing to worry about, I assure you.”

Shion wrapped his arms around the pillow to hold it there. The other two stared at him for a moment.

Karan cleared her throat and spoke a little louder. “Shion, I think you should ask Nezumi if he wants to stay for dinner.”

“ _You_  ask.”

“Shion, he’s your friend. You have to ask him yourself.”

“But you’re  _right there!”_  Shion pulled the pillow down from his face and hugged it against his chest, staring up at the ceiling. “And why are we talking about this like he’s not here?”

Karan sighed and crossed her arms. “Because I’m trying to help you learn how to keep friends.”

“I don’t  _need_  friends!”

“I think you should keep Nezumi as your friend.”

“Mom, that’s not how it works! You can’t just pick out friends for me!”

“I think your mom’s right.”

“Huh?” Shion lifted his head a bit to give Nezumi a confused look.

“I think you should keep me as your friend.”

Shion let his head fall back onto the mattress again and let out an exasperated sigh. “So what else  _should_  I be doing?”

“Well,” Karan began, “you should look at people when you’re talking to them, you should be a little more polite to others, you should start attending your classes…”

“Sorry I asked,” Shion said weakly.

There was a moment of silence, then Karan sighed and placed a gentle hand on Nezumi’s arm. “If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

Karan gave him a smile and walked out of the room, closing the door to leave the two boys alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Shion sat up and looked at the door. “Oh, so she’s caged me in here with you as a last attempt to make me socialize?”

“Shion.”

“What?”

“You’re the one that brought me over here.”

Shion swallowed hard, his eyes nervously darting away.

“So if you don’t want me here, why’d you do it?”

Shion wrapped his arms around the pillow and hunched forward a bit.

“Shion.”

“W-Well, I—” He hugged the pillow tighter and kept his eyes focused on the floor.

“You…?”

“I-I… I felt bad. You looked really, really cold. I didn’t like it. And I know the reason you don’t have a coat isn’t because you’re stupid. Y-You’re not stupid, anyway. Um…”

Without another word, Shion put the pillow aside and stood from the bed, walking over to the closet. He pushed a couple shirts aside, glanced over a few things, then pulled out a fairly warm looking jacket. After taking it off the hanger, he held it out to Nezumi.

“Here.”

Nezumi looked from the jacket to Shion, his gaze turning cold. “I don’t need your charity.”

“I’m not  _giving_  it to you, idiot.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I’m just letting you borrow it.”

Nezumi blinked and the harsh look left his eyes. After a few seconds, he took the jacket. It at least looked close enough to his size.

“Try it on.”

“Right now?”

“It’s no use borrowing a jacket that doesn’t fit.”

Nezumi shook his head to himself and pulled on the jacket. It was just slightly snug, but not uncomfortably so.

“Does it fit okay?”

Nezumi tugged the hem down a bit and looked down over himself. “I think so.”

“Jeez, you haven’t even tried closing it.”

Shion stepped closer and joined the bottom of the jacket’s zipper. After struggling for a second, he zipped it almost the whole way up. He fussed over a few details, pulling the sleeves further down the slightest bit and straightening the collar.

“Hm, looks okay to me. Well, borrow it as long as you want.”

“Hey, Shion.”

“Huh—”

Shion looked up and very quickly realized just how close he was to the other. Their faces were apart by only a matter of inches. This time, Shion simply stepped back in his surprise rather than pushing Nezumi away, but his expression was one of absolute terror.

Nezumi gave him an odd look. “You keep doing that.”

“D-Doing what?!”

“One minute you’re up in my space, and the next you’re trying to keep as far away as possible.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you really are.”

Shion shut his mouth. He crossed his arms tightly against his chest with his shoulders slightly hunched and looked down at the floor.

“Is it just a thing you do or is it just me?”

“It’s you. Well—” Shion took a breath to steady himself before continuing on. He still wouldn’t look up. “I guess I don’t really know if I’d be like this around anyone else since you’re the first person I’ve been with like how we are. Like, the whole thing where we’ve spent a couple hours together and a few times we’ve been physically really close which is something I’m not used to at all…”

“Do you like it?”

“Like what?”

“Being physically close to someone else.”

“Wh— No! I’m pretty sure I don’t!”

Nezumi shrugged. “I just couldn’t tell since you’re the one who keeps getting up close with me.”

Shion looked up in shock. “I do  _not—_ ”

“Yeah, you do. This morning you were standing too close, in the practice room you were  _really_  close when you were playing those godawful chords, I’m talking like practically  _on_  me, you  _held my hand_  the whole way here, you were nearly touching my junk trying to get that zipper…”

“N-No.”

“No?”

“You just remembered wrong.”

Nezumi crossed his arms and leaned down just a bit. “Did I, now?”

“Um, probably. I bet the cold made you forget.”

“And I bet your albinism made you full of bullshit.”

Shion looked down again and made a sound that was barely audible.

“…Anyway, thanks for letting me borrow your jacket. It’s pretty warm.”

“Y-Yeah, no problem…”

The silence between them was filled with the sound of the cassette tape still playing. Shion glanced over at the player under the table and walked over. He sat on the bed and picked up the empty case, glancing over the tracks listed. After a moment, he brought his legs up to sit cross-legged on the mattress and sat back against the wall. He held up the case in one hand and looked at Nezumi.

“So why’d you pick this one?”

Nezumi sat down on the other side of the bed with his legs crossed as well, facing Shion. “I remember hearing something by that band a while ago that I liked. That was a few months ago maybe, so I can’t remember the exact song.” He gave a slight nod towards the cassette player. “I like it so far, though.”

Shion gave a small hum in response and smiled, eyes back down on the case again.

“Hey.”

Shion looked up again. “Hey ‘what?’”

“Are you gay?”

Shion looked mortified. “A-A-Are  _you?!”_

Nezumi smiled and shrugged. “When the weather permits, I suppose.”

“What is that even supposed to—” Shion blushed hard and tried sitting further back despite being against the wall to begin with. “Why are you asking that kind of thing?!”

Nezumi shrugged again and shook his head. “I couldn’t tell so I thought I’d just ask. Didn’t want to make any false assumptions, though I bet you are. You don’t have a girlfriend from what I can tell, you think I’m really pretty, and you get nervous being close to me even though you’re the one who gets close in the first place.”

Shion placed the tape case back on the table, using it as an excuse not to look at Nezumi. “I know I’m not so good with talking to people, but I  _know_  that’s not the kind of thing you just ask someone, especially when you’ve just met them!”

“You’re really sure about that?”

Shion fought to start a sentence, eyes darting around the room. “I-I… W-Well— You look like a girl!”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s why you’re really pretty! Because you look like a girl.”

“Is that so?” Nezumi frowned and raised an eyebrow. “Hm, nice save.”

Shion let out a slow exhale out of relief, though he still eyed the other cautiously. “So what was that thing about the weather?”

Nezumi laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

Shion gave a disgruntled frown and glared up at him. “I hope dinner’s soon so you can stop asking these stupid questions.”

“You’re asking more questions than I am.”

“No, I’m  _not._ ”

“Yes, you are. And who says I won’t ask them during dinner?”

“Because my mom’ll be there!”

“Think that’s going to stop me?”

“I really don’t like you.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Because I really,  _really_  don’t like you.”

“So am I invited to stay for dinner?”

Shion frowned harder and looked away for a long moment. Nezumi patiently waited for an answer. Shion huffed out a sigh and kept his glare focused on the wall.

“…Nezumi, would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Close.”

“Huh?” Shion looked at Nezumi in confusion.

“Your mom’s right. You should look at people when you’re talking to them, especially when you’re asking a question like that. Good job with the politeness, though. She’d be so proud.”

With an unimpressed expression, Shion asked again, “Nezumi, would you like to stay for dinner?”

Nezumi shook his head. “Shion, you can’t ask someone to stay for dinner with a face like  _that_. You ask someone because you  _want_  them to stay for dinner.”

Shion frowned down at his lap for a long while before looking up at Nezumi again. He wore a smile that seemed far too sweet for how irritable he’d been all day.

“Nezumi, would you like to stay for dinner?”

Nezumi smiled back. “Aww, you’re so cute when you actually smile.”

He reached out for the other’s face and his hand was immediately slapped away. Shion’s smile was gone.

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Shion. I would love to stay for dinner.”

“Okay,” he responded bluntly.

“Have any more questions for me while you’re in such a sociable mood, your majesty?”

“Will you sing for me?”

“What?”

“What I was talking about this morning when you decided to be a complete dick to me. I want you to sing for me and Inukashi sometime. Maybe tomorrow or something.”

“Again, the face. And the politeness.”

Shion made a sound of frustration before putting on his sweet smile again. “Nezumi, I would really love it if you’d sing for me sometime.”

“Get out your guitar.”

“Huh?”

“Get out your guitar and I’ll sing for you.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, right now. That’s why I’m telling you to do it.” Nezumi nodded as he spoke, a dull expression on his face. “Right now.”

Shion scooted forward and pushed himself off the bed to retrieve the case he’d put in the corner of his room during his search for coffee earlier. He opened it up and scowled.

“I’m missing my first string, remember?”

“Is it impossible to play if you’re missing just one string?”

“No, but it’s just kinda like eating spaghetti without a fork.”

“Uh. What?”

“It sucks.”

“…Alright. Well, I just won’t expect perfection. I won’t be offended by some missing notes.”

Shion looked irritated but took out his guitar anyway. He returned to his spot on the bed and fussed with the broken string that was still attached, removing the bottom part. He gave the tuning peg with the remaining half a dirty look before placing his fingers on the fingerboard.

“What about the other piece?”

“Need pliers to take it off. Don’t have any.” Shion reached down beside the bed and pressed a button to stop the tape player.

“Fair enough.”

“What are we playing?”

Nezumi was quiet for a moment. “…Play something you know and I’ll tell you if I know it.”

“I know a  _lot_  of songs, Nezumi.”

“I’m sure you do. How about the last thing you worked on?”

“That’s gonna sound stupid without my first string.”

“Okay, then play something that doesn’t use that string very much.”

Shion sat there for a long moment, staring at nothing in particular on the bed in front of him. Then he played each open string, making a couple small adjustments, and played a chord. He nodded to himself and began to play a melody.

Nezumi frowned. The notes were extremely quiet.

“Don’t you have an amp to use?”

Shion kept playing and shook his head. “No. Can’t have one here anyway. It’s too loud with how shitty the walls are so the neighbors get pissed.”

“Uh-huh… So I should be quiet, too?”

“Probably. Though I bet no one would mind nearly as much. It’s not ‘godawful rock and roll’ like a guitar is,” Shion answered, mockingly saying the phrase that was likely used to describe his playing by displeased neighbors.

Nezumi hummed softly in response and frowned. “So it’s probably not going to work trying this here, huh?”

“Probably not.”

He sighed quietly and sat back against the wall. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault I have bitchy neighbors.”

Nezumi turned his head and watched Shion’s fingers continue to pick out the muted melody. “So when do you think you’ll get a new string?”

Shion’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head. “I don’t know. I still have to find out what stupid thing it’ll take to get my mom to buy me one.”

“You don’t have any money?”  


“I’m too stupid, remember?”

“Right. I know that feeling. Being too stupid.”

Shion stopped playing after a moment and the two sat there in a heavy silence, both seemingly lost in thought.

Almost a minute had passed when Shion took a breath as though to speak. Nezumi glanced over when he hesitated.

“…Nezumi, I kind of want to hold your hand right now. Is that really weird?”

“That’s pretty fucking weird.”

Shion swallowed hard. “Forget I said that.”

“But I don’t mind ‘pretty fucking weird,’ either.”

There was a drawn out silence between the two. Shion turned his face away and Nezumi looked down to see his fingers nervously tapping on the bed. Without a word, Nezumi slid his hand closer and laced his fingers with Shion’s fidgeting ones. His only response was a soft sigh.

There was a knock on the door and both of them immediately turned their attention towards it.

“Boys, dinner is ready if you’d like any!”

The door opened and they quickly let go of each other’s hands. Karan peered inside.

“Nezumi, did you want to stay for dinner?”

Nezumi let out a slow exhale and nodded, eyes fixed on Karan. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”


	5. Chapter 5

“So, Nezumi, tell me a little about yourself.” Karan smiled at him and handed the two their dinner plates before sitting down with her own. “Shion’s never talked about you before.”

“Mom, I already said I just met him today.”

Karan lightly waved her hand at Shion in an attempt to quiet him. “Well then, is this your first semester here?”

Nezumi nodded. “I just got here Sunday night, so I’ve only been here for a couple days.”

“Oh, no! Are they giving you enough time to catch up on your schoolwork?! That’s two extra weeks of work you have to do!”

“I offered to do it for him but he’s not letting me,” Shion chimed in.

Karan gave him a stern look. “That’s because it’s not your work.”

“Do you even remember what high school is like at all? Because—”

“To be honest, Shion,” Nezumi interrupted with a small smile, “I refused your offer because I was  _highly_ insulted that you thought I’d need that much help.”

“O-Oh, sh— oops. Um.”

“Well, I’m glad you two have made up since then. It’s nice having you over.” Karan gave him a warm smile. “Oh, did Shion actually ask you to stay for dinner? I figured you already knew you were welcome to stay, but I wanted him to ask you himself. It’s one of those things we’re working on…”

“Don’t worry, your son did just fine. In fact, he practically  _begged_  me to stay for dinner. He asked me  _three times.”_

Shion nearly choked, then glared at Nezumi.

“Oh, it’s so good to know Shion likes you so much already! I don’t remember the last time he’s had anyone over.” Karan frowned at her son. “I think it was back when you were a freshman and you had that nice girl Safu over. She seemed so nice…”

“That was for a group project. I didn’t want her here.”

Karan sighed, but didn’t say anything.

Nezumi quickly changed the subject. “Hey, Shion, if your offer still stands, I’d appreciate your help with homework.”

“Okay.”

Karan looked between the two. “Well, isn’t that nice of you, Shion!”

“I guess it is. I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know if it’s really an equivalent to what Nezumi’s doing for me.”

“And what’s that?”

“He said he’d sing for me.”

Karan looked delighted. “That’s wonderful! Nezumi, I had no idea you could sing!”

“That’s because you just met him a couple hours ago and it’s not like he said ‘Hi, I’m Nezumi and I enjoy singing and being a di— jerk to Shion.’”

Karan seemed a bit exasperated, but continued to smile. “Well, I think it’s great that you two can make music together.”

“We might not be able to, you know. We haven’t tried yet. It could end up turning out really sh— terrible.”

She looked at Shion with a tight smile. “Then we’ll just have to hope it works out for the best.”

Shion shrugged. “We might not be able to work together at all.”

“If you’d just  _try_  to be more cooperative…”

“I think we’ll work well together,” Nezumi said, an elegant smile on his face. “Shion and I have  _great_ chemistry.”

His toe nudged Shion’s foot under the table. Shion immediately shut up, looking like he’d swallowed his own tongue.

“I’m so glad you can be patient with him.”

“Don’t worry, Karan. It’s not a matter of patience. I just like being around him.”

Shion remained out of the conversation, looking down at the table and blushing.

Karan smiled warmly. “Really, I’m so happy Shion has a friend like you now.”

Nezumi smiled back and bowed his head slightly. “As am I.”

There was a moment of silence. They both looked over at Shion, expecting him to say something.

“…Shion, dear, are you alright?”

“I’m done.”

“What? Is something wrong? Are you not hungry?”

“I’m just done.” He pushed his chair back and stood up.

Karan looked distressed. “Shion—”

“I didn’t really tell you much about myself yet, have I?” Nezumi looked from Karan to Shion. “You don’t want to miss out on the details of my exciting life, do you?” He raised an eyebrow and stared up at the other.

Shion looked between the two, his expression nearly identical to his mother’s.

“Maybe you’ll find out something interesting about me.”

Shion’s eyes locked onto Nezumi’s, though he still didn’t move or say a word.

“You’ll stay and listen, right?”

They stayed that way for a long moment, then Shion sat back down. Nezumi smiled sweetly.

Karan looked relieved and turned her attention to Nezumi again. “So what do your parents do, Nezumi?”

“Oh, um…” The smile immediately disappeared. “Ah… One works in an office at a…” he swallowed hard and hesitated. “…at a… um… ah… a-and the other is the manager of a store…? Y-Yeah, a grocery store.”

Karan furrowed her brow but didn’t say anything about his oddly phrased answer. “Mm-hm…”

Shion watched Nezumi struggle with a frown of his own, then leaned his elbows on the table and stretched his legs until one of his feet met Nezumi’s leg. “That’s nice, but I don’t really care about them. I wanna hear about  _you.”_

“Aww…” Karan put her hand on her heart and gave her son an affectionate smile, then looked at Nezumi. “You’ve really brought out the sweet side of my little Shion, haven’t you?”

“I suppose I have.” Nezumi glanced at Shion, still not smiling.

Shion appeared rather uncomfortable, but looked at Nezumi again and tapped his toe on the other’s foot. “You’re a junior like me, right? What do you think of our f— really terrible school?”

“Well, I can’t say I hate it yet. I’m impressed by how much space is reserved for the music department, though. My last few schools were in the process of cutting their arts programs down.”

“Last few schools?” Karan asked. “Do you move a lot?”

“Schools with no music?! That would really fucking suck!”

Nezumi opened his mouth to say something, but with one look at Karan’s expression, he shut it again.

“Shion!”

Shion shrank back in his seat a bit, staring at his mother with a look of immense guilt.

“I cannot believe you! Cursing?! At the dinner table?!  _In front of a guest?!”_

“S-Sorry, mom, it just slipped…”

“It’s alright, Karan. I’m not particularly offended.”

Regardless of Nezumi’s assurance, Karan still looked quite upset.

“O-Okay, I’m really done this time.” Shion quickly stood from the table again and turned away.

“Shion.”

He slowly turned back around to look at his mother, biting his lip with a worried expression.

“Clean up your dishes.”

“Y-Yes, mom.”

“And I need you to clean up the rest of the kitchen before you go to bed.”

“Yes, mom.”

Nezumi sat quietly in the uncomfortably tense atmosphere of the room.

“I’m so sorry he’s behaving this way while you’re here,” Karan said to him apologetically.

“It’s fine.” Nezumi looked up at Shion, who was staring down at the floor. “Do you want help cleaning?”

Karan immediately held up her hands in protest. “No, no, no, Nezumi! I can’t have you cleaning my kitchen! You’re a guest!”

“I came over here to spend time with Shion. And I don’t mind helping.”

Shion looked from Nezumi to his mother, not saying a word.

“…Shion, you’ll need to clean up tomorrow night instead.”

“Yes, mom.”

She let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head, standing up and clearing their empty dishes. “Nezumi, again, I apologize…”

“It’s really okay, Karan. Do you want any help?”

“No, no, you can go spend more time with Shion if you’d like.” She froze after picking up Nezumi’s plate. “Oh! I’m sorry! Did you get enough to eat?!”

“More than enough. It was wonderful. Thank you.”

Karan looked somewhat relieved, but still flustered. “A-Alright, just don’t hesitate to ask for anything else.”

Nezumi nodded, looking over at Shion when she turned away. “Back to your room, then?”

“Yeah, guess so.”

Once they were back in the cramped room, Shion flopped face down onto the bed and made an unpleasant sound. “God dammit…”

Nezumi snorted out a laugh and sat himself on the remaining space of Shion’s bed. “So  _that’s_  why you wouldn’t swear in front of your mom earlier. And here I thought you were just being a sweet little mama’s-boy.”

“Nope…”

Shion reached down and pressed the play button on the tape player. The music picked up where they’d left off earlier and filled the small room. Neither said a word for a while. Nezumi glanced over the other who was still laying on his stomach, and poked the back of his leg.

“WHA—!!”

Shion flailed a bit in an attempt to turn over and kick him, but Nezumi easily held him down with just his hands.

“Wh—” Shion tried to shove his hands off with no success. “Why would you do that?!”

“Because this is pretty funny.”

“‘This?!’” Shion finally managed to sit up and looked at Nezumi incredulously. “What do you mean, ‘this?!’”

Nezumi gestured a hand towards the other. “This.”

Shion watched his hand, then stared back up again.  _“Me?!”_

“Yeah. You. You freak out really easily and it’s fucking hilarious.”

“Christ…” Shion sighed and let himself fall back onto the mattress again. He folded his arms across his chest and stared up at the ceiling. “Hey…”

“Hey ‘what?’”

“Did I do it right? The whole thing with, you know, the question about your parents’ jobs?”

Nezumi stiffened a bit and looked at Shion. “What do you mean?”

Shion looked back at Nezumi. “Like, you seemed really uncomfortable answering it so I tried to change the subject. Did I do it right?”

“Well, it made it look like you were coming onto me at the very least.”

“Fuck…” He put his hands over his face and sighed. “Well, I tried.”

Nezumi laughed quietly to himself. “You pretty much did it right, though. I appreciate it.” His smile faded a bit and he looked away.

“Yeah… Hey,” Shion started, folding his arms behind his head to get a better look at Nezumi. “I don’t care about your parents or whatever. It seems like something you don’t want to talk about, so don’t feel like you ever have to around me. We all have stuff we’d rather not bring up.”

Nezumi looked over at Shion again. “You’re really not as shitty with people as you make yourself out to be, are you?”

“I’m not stupid. I just usually don’t care.”

“So what’s your sore subject?”

“Huh?”

“You said everyone has stuff they don’t want to talk about. What’s yours?”

“Seriously?!”

“I’m not asking you to tell me all the details. I’m just asking what it is in general so I won’t bring it up on accident.”

Shion looked up at the ceiling and let out a small sigh. “…I don’t even want to tell you what it is.”

“Alright, your majesty. Just don’t cry about it when I unknowingly upset you later.”

“I’ll just punch you in the face or something.”

“Sure, you go ahead and try that when the time comes.” Nezumi smirked over at the other, then glanced at the clock on the bedside table. “Shit, is it seriously— I gotta go, okay?”

“Huh?” Shion sat up and stared at Nezumi.

“It’s getting late and I might get in trouble. I don’t really know.”

“Oh, okay. Want me to walk home with you? You know, since you just moved here?”

Nezumi stood up. “No, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Let me see you out the door at least.”

“I’m honored.”

“Would you shut the fuck up? I’m actually trying to be nice.”

“You are?” Nezumi gave him an intrigued smile. “Why? I thought you didn’t care.”

“W-Well,” Shion looked away. “I guess it matters or something.”

“Again, I’m honored.”

“I really don’t like you.”

“I’m sure that’s completely true.”

Shion didn’t say anything, but got up from the bed. “You didn’t have anything with you when we got here, right? And you’ve got your jacket now so you won’t fucking freeze to death on the way home.”

“Yeah, I’ve got everything,” Nezumi said before walking out of the room.

Shion followed after. “Hey…”

He turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re really gonna sing for me sometime, right?”

“Mm-hm. Maybe even tomorrow.”

Shion looked away and let out a breath that was almost a laugh, smiling. He ran his fingers through his hair, not making eye contact. “Okay. Cool. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Nezumi smiled down at the other. “Thanks for dinner.”

“I didn’t make it. My mom did.”

“Then thanks,  _Shion’s mom,_  for dinner.”

“You already thanked her.”

“Then thank her again for me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m too thankful to only say it once.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Well!” Nezumi turned to the door and put his hand on the knob. “I think that’s about it. See you tomorrow?” He turned his head and looked back at Shion one more time.

“Yeah.” Shion nodded with a small smile. “See you tomorrow.”


	6. Chapter 6

It was even colder outside now that the sun had set, but the wind didn’t tear through Nezumi like it had earlier that day thanks to his newly borrowed jacket. It wasn’t a coat by any means, but it was significantly better than nothing at all. He walked back towards where he was now living, almost doubting himself at a few turns and hesitating at a few different buildings.

_No, that one’s not it, either…_

A small anxiety fluttered in his stomach. It had been years since he’d actually forgotten where he lived, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen again now.

The feeling left him in a sigh of relief when he came across the building he was looking for. It had been a very large house well over a century ago, but had since then been divided into several apartments, two on each of the three stories. His home was on the left side of first floor. A place higher up would have had a nicer view, but it at least meant he didn’t have to climb any extra steps to get home.

Once he reached the main door, Nezumi stopped and pulled a key from his pocket. The cord tied to it was looped around one of his belt carriers as an extra precaution. He’d lost his key right after moving once before, and he wasn’t letting it happen again. He slipped it out of the loop and put the key in the lock.

_Right, only partway in, then turn…_

It took some careful work to get the lock open, but he was certain it was something he’d master in his first week living there. The second lock, the one into his apartment, was much easier to open. He opened the door and stepped inside.

“Nezumi, why didn’t you get home right after school? You’re not already causing trouble, are you?”

“No, sir.”

“Where’s your backpack?”

“I left it at school, ma’am.”

“Did you have dinner yet?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“A friend had me over.”

“Friend? Who’s your friend already?”

Nezumi looked over to see the boy who was only a year older than him that he now lived with, sitting at the table and smirking.

“His name’s Shion.”

There was a snicker.

“Albino kid?  _That_  one?”

“…That’s the one.”

The snicker turned into a laugh. Nezumi remained silent and expressionless. After a moment, he turned and walked to the basement door.

“Do you have any homework, Nezumi?”

“No.”

He turned on the basement light and headed down the stairs, shutting the door behind himself. At the bottom of the steps, he turned left, walked past a washer and dryer, and opened another door. A portion of the basement had been built into a room that was now used as a bedroom, specifically Nezumi’s current bedroom. It might not have been particularly nice, but it was the largest room Nezumi had stayed in by far, so he couldn’t complain.

He reached for a light switch and found an empty wall, only to remember his light had a pull chain overhead instead. He blindly reached up until his fingers grasped onto a string and pulled. After a second, the bulb flickered on and his room was dimly illuminated. There was a bed, a desk, a chair, and a dresser. A duffel bag sat alone with the top unzipped in the otherwise empty closet.

_Home, sweet home._

Nezumi sat down on the edge of his bed and glanced around. There were a few thumbtacks still pressed into the walls where posters had clearly been pinned up before and a pathetic looking strand of lights lined most of the ceiling. His eyes followed the wire until he found the end, where its plug was laying next to an outlet.

_Might as well._

He stood from the bed and knelt down to plug it in. The lights blinked on, casting an almost welcoming, soft white glow around his room.

_Not bad. These can stay._

After looking over his room again, Nezumi went over to his closet. He knelt down and unzipped the bag the rest of the way. He pulled out some clothes and stood up. There was more than enough room in the closet, but it was  _too_ much room. After a moment of thought he nudged the duffel bag out of the closet with his foot and shut the door. The dresser alone had more than enough room for his entire wardrobe. He considered organizing his clothes, but it looked fuller when everything was simply thrown into the drawer.

It only took a minute to find places for the rest of his belongings. The few books he had were stacked on the desk and the remaining necessities were thrown into another dresser drawer. Before shutting his empty bag back in the closet, he pulled out a gray blanket that had been carefully folded to fit underneath everything. He shut the closet again, kicked off his shoes, and sat cross-legged on his bed.

_Well, that’s about it._

Nezumi shook out the blanket and wrapped it around himself. He wasn’t particularly cold now that he was inside and still wearing the jacket, but the warmth it gave him wasn’t on the outside.

_Look at me, sixteen years old and still carrying around a blanket._

He pulled the edge of the blanket over his head like a hood and tucked his chin into the collar of the jacket so only the upper half of his face was visible. The smell of the jacket’s fabric wasn’t exactly familiar, but it was still somehow very comforting.

_Guess you really are my friend now, Shion._

With a soft sigh, Nezumi pulled his knees close and wrapped his arms around his legs, further enclosing himself in the blanket.

_Just a little more than a year left of this. I can make it._

He put his forehead down on his knees and closed his eyes. The blanket had lost its soothing scent long ago, but having the jacket and his blanket completely wrapped around him was better than taking in the unfamiliar smell of his basement room. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it definitely didn’t feel like home.

Aside from the occasional muffled sound from upstairs, Nezumi was left alone in the quiet of his new room. He wanted to hear some music, to feel the comfort of a song swirling itself around in his mind, but he couldn’t find the will in himself to sing or even hum. The loneliness of silence sat heavy in his heart.

He remained there in the security of the tiny shelter he’d made for himself for a long while, listening to his heartbeat and breath until he was lost in thought. He only opened his eyes and looked up when he heard the front door close. He glanced at the clock radio on the desk and noted that it was a fairly late hour for anyone to be entering or leaving the apartment. With nothing else to do, he unwrapped himself from his blanket and quietly crept upstairs. He didn’t turn on the light and simply sat at the kitchen table in the dark. He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands.

_Not long before they come back…_

Minutes passed without a sound. Then, sure enough, the door opened up again. It was the boy he’d be living with for the next several months, the same one that had laughed after hearing about Nezumi’s new friendship with Shion.

“Have a good smoke break, brother dearest?”

He froze on the stop and stared into the dark room until he found Nezumi’s figure sitting in the dark.

“Sh-Shut up, creep!”

_Hit the mark then, didn’t I?_

“I’m not creeping. You just can’t see well.” Nezumi replied, smirking behind his clasped hands. He glanced over the other and noticed the telltale shape of something in his pocket that could be nothing other than a box of cigarettes. “You’re still seventeen, aren’t you? Oh, my. What would our parents say if they found out?”

“You’d better not tell o-or I’ll—”

“Don’t worry, I won’t say a word to mommy and daddy.”

The other tried starting a sentence a few times, then spat out in a harsh whisper, “You’re really fucking— You— I can’t wait for you to fucking leave!”

Nezumi smiled pleasantly. “I love you, too, brother dearest. Sweet dreams.”

After giving Nezumi a disgusted look, he angrily left without a comeback.

_So he’s hiding a nice little smoking habit, huh? Good to know._

It wasn’t much longer before Nezumi silently returned down the stairs to his room, thinking over what possibilities were presented to him with his discovery. Every outcome would only be in his favor.

_Maybe it won’t be so bad this time around._


	7. Chapter 7

The minutes dragged on, feeling like hours. Shion’s hands might have been busy playing his somewhat crippled guitar continuously throughout the day, but his eyes were locked on the practice room door and his mind was on only one thing, or rather one person.

_Maybe he’s not coming today._

It was the beginning of the last period when the doorknob turned and the door started to creak open. He nearly choked when he gasped quietly in excitement, only then to see it was only Inukashi. He frowned with gritted teeth.

_“God dammit.”_

“Wow, good to see you, too,  _asshole_.” Inukashi didn’t come inside, instead leaning against the doorframe. “So remember that bio test I said I bombed Monday?”

“Yeah.”

“I  _totally_  bombed it. So did half the class. The teacher’s gonna let us sorry bastards retake the test this period, so I  _might_  be back later. Don’t get your hopes up too much, though.”

Shion didn’t say anything in return. Inukashi frowned back.

“Alright, don’t wish me luck or anything. Not like I need it.”

“You probably do.”

“Probably what?”

“Need luck when you take your test. You’re just going to fail it again.”

“Gee, thanks for the moral support, Shion,” Inukashi said sarcastically and turned to leave. “See, this is why no one likes being around you.”

“You’re around me a lot.”

Inukashi turned to sneer at Shion. “I like  _playing music_  with you, not  _being_  around you. You’re pretty unbearable most of the time.”

“That’s nice.”

Inukashi left and pushed the door shut a bit harder than necessary. Shion watched it again for a couple minutes before getting lost in his own little world with his guitar. And then it opened again. A familiar voice greeted him.

“Hey.”

Nezumi stepped inside and closed the door with a small click. Shion stared up at him wordlessly.

“So… don’t get too excited and piss yourself, but I got you something.”

Smirking, Nezumi reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a plastic packet. He held it up and raised his eyebrows.

“This is what you wanted, right?”

He offered it to Shion. Shion immediately grabbed it.

“ _Fucking— Oh my god—_ ”

He yanked out the chord leading to the amp and moved his guitar to lay against his back. Without another word, he headed out the door, literally pushing Nezumi out of the way.

“Wait, did you  _actually_  get too excited and piss yourself?”

Shion didn’t answer. He quickly headed down the hall until he reached the last door labeled “office.” Nezumi followed after him, though at a much easier pace. Shion tried the doorknob with no luck, then pounded on the door. When it didn’t open immediately, he put the packet in his mouth to free up his other hand.

“It’d  _locked_ , Shion, not being mean to you. You’re not getting in.”

“Yef, I  _am,”_  Shion stated back with the packet still between his teeth.

With both hands, he struggled with the doorknob for a long while. Nezumi watched, unimpressed.

“…This is just sad to watch. You’re kind of pathetic.”

Shion only made an annoyed sound in response rather than actually use any words. A few seconds later, there was a loud  _thunk_  and the door moved. He pushed it open and strode inside.

“Oh…”

Nezumi cautiously walked inside. Shion was aggressively searching through a drawer until he pulled out a tool, specifically a pair of pliers. Leaving the drawer open, he shoved aside everything on the desk to clear a space for himself to sit. With pliers in hand, guitar in front of him, and packet of string still in his mouth, he perched himself on the desk.

Nezumi watched Shion get to work in his frantic excitement. “…I guess if there’s a will, there’s a way.”

Shion shook his head and took the packet from his mouth to open it. “That lock’s been broken for a long time. It just takes a lot to get it open when it’s  _supposed_  to be locked.”

“Clearly.” Nezumi casually leaned back against a heavy looking stack of filing cabinets. “My goodness, who knew I’d be befriending such a little hoodlum here?”

The two remained silent as Shion worked with incredible speed to attach the new string to his guitar. With his determination and eagerness, it didn’t take long at all. At one point, the pliers were tossed towards the drawer but bounced off the edge and landed in the middle of the floor. A stack of papers that had been shoved to one side of the desk finally slid out of their careful balance and fluttered to the ground. Shion hopped down with a wide smile and walked out of the room.

“Jeez, Shion, you fucking  _wrecked_  this place…”

“I really don’t care.”

“Apparently.”

Nezumi gave the office one last look before returning to the practice room. Shion sat in his usual place, carefully tuning his guitar. Once he deemed it to be properly in tune, his fingers flew over the frets and an energetic flurry of notes blared from the amp.

_“Ha!”_

Shion stared at the new string with an enormous grin and continued to play for another minute. Then he finally stopped and looked up at Nezumi, slightly breathless.

“You’re giving this to me, right?”

“Um. Yeah, I guess. It’s kind of, you know…”

“Difficult to take back?”

“That’s it. So why ask that now?”

Shion smiled. “If I’d asked before putting it on and you said ‘no,’ it’d be nothing to just grab it right out of my hands. But now that it’s on here, there’s no way you would even want to try getting it back.”

“I get the feeling most people would get pissed with that sort of logic.”

“That’s nice.” Shion picked out a few quiet notes on his strings for a moment and stared up at Nezumi, biting his lip. “So… why’d you get me a new string? When? How?”

“I didn’t expect this to be the Spanish Inquisition.”

“Will you just tell me?”

Nezumi casually sat down in another chair and propped his feet on the stool where Inukashi normally sat. “I got it because you needed it and you already did me a favor, I bought it during gym class because fuck  _that_  noise, and the parents have graced me with a monthly allowance that was more than enough for a single string.”

Shion stared wide-eyed at Nezumi for a long while, then stood up and moved his guitar to his back. He stepped forward, leaned down, and wrapped his arms around the other.

“Oh? What’s this?” Nezumi asked.

“A hug.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m really,  _really_  grateful. And people usually like hugs, right?” Shion nervously pulled away, hands lightly resting on Nezumi’s shoulders. “Or… did I get that wrong? I-I’m not sure I know how this works.”

“Humans generally find enjoyment in experiencing physical contact with other human beings,” Nezumi stated in a mockingly matter-of-fact way. “You’re on the right track, though.”

“S-So… Was that okay?”

“Yes, it was  _okay_.” Nezumi cocked his head to the side and smirked up at the other.

Shion pulled his hands away and took a step back. “You wanted to sing, right?” he quickly asked. “Or did you just come here to give me the string?”

“I came for both the string and to sing, unless you’ve suddenly changed your mind about the whole thing.”

“N-No! I really do want you to sing! Y-You know, while I play!”

“Alright.”

Shion quickly returned to his chair and held his guitar in his lap. “So what did you want to sing?”

“Hm. Something easy. It’s been a while since I’ve actually had the chance to sing and I’m not particularly in the mood for a challenge.”

Shion was quiet for a moment, then started up a song.

Nezumi sat up and looked away. “I don’t know that one, sorry.”

“That’s fine.”

Shion stopped and silently thought to himself, then began a new song. It was a gentle, but upbeat melody with a cheerful feel to it. He glanced up at Nezumi and opened his mouth to ask if he knew it, but the smile on the other’s face was enough of an answer.

And then Nezumi began to sing.

_“Oh, I miss the comfort of this house…”_

Shion switched from playing the melody to playing the actual part intended for the guitar. It began in a steady rhythm that alternated between the bottom of the chord and the notes above it. It all fit together nicely.

Only half of the parts were covered in their impromptu version of the song, but there was something about creating the music that surrounded him,  _being_  that music, that made Shion feel incredibly alive. It was nothing like hearing a single sound crackle out of a tiny speaker. No, it was entirely different. The music was no longer something to listen to, but rather something to exist within, to feel, to become.

With Nezumi’s voice intertwined with the sounds from his guitar, Shion was completely lost to the rest of the world. Not too much later, their duet came to an end and Shion reveled in the vibrations that faded away. Even as the room became silent, it seemed as though the air those vibrations had filled was still surrounding him, preserving that undeniably good feeling.

“…I’m pretty sure you came.”

Shion was abruptly pulled back into reality. He stared at Nezumi, looking shocked and offended.

_“Excuse me?!”_

“Your face. You seriously look like you’re in some kind of a post-orgasm stupor. All you need is the hair to complete the look.” Nezumi leaned forward off his chair and roughly messed up Shion’s hair with a hand.

Shion gave him a displeased glare, but didn’t move. “Just because I find pleasure in music doesn’t mean it’s  _sexual_  in any way.”

Nezumi smirked mockingly and raised an eyebrow. “Sure, sure, whatever you say…”

With a sigh, Shion leaned his head back against the wall behind him and closed his eyes. Just when the silence was beginning to stretch out for too long, the door opened.

“Guess what, I totally go— ugh,  _Shion._ ” Inukashi stood in the doorway, looking completely disgusted. “At least put a sign on the door or something to warn me whenever you decide to make sweet, sweet love to your guitar. I don’t wanna see it. Gross.”

Shion opened his eyes a bit to look at Inukashi, then sighed and closed them again.

Inukashi looked over at Nezumi and frowned. “You did that in front of  _this guy?!_  God dammit, Shion.”

“I was quite shocked, really.”

“You were supposed to get him to sing for us, not traumatize him! No way will he even wanna be around us now!”

Shion only made a quiet, miserable sound in return.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind witnessing that again. I’ve never seen someone so passionate in my life. It was quite the thrill, really.”

Inukashi raised his hands palms out and stepped back out of the doorway. “That’s it. I’m outta here. And for fuck’s sake, Shion, do the sign thing next time.”

Shion sighed again when the door closed, not saying a word.

“You know,” Nezumi started, side-eying the other, “after all that, I have to wonder…”

“It’s useless.”

“What?”

Shion opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling above him. “Trying to argue back. No one cares what I have to say about any of it.”

“So did you really?”

“Really what?”

“Get off playing your guitar.”

Shion sat up, giving Nezumi an annoyed glare. “Are you fucking  _kidding me?!”_  He stood up from his chair and held his guitar away from his body, gesturing his free hand at the front of his pants. “Look! I did  _not_  fucking jizz myself playing my guitar!”

“Are you  _sure_  you’re not gay?”

“What?!”

Nezumi crossed his arms and looked up at Shion. “I’m a guy and you just asked me to look at your junk.”

_“I’m wearing pants!”_

“Hm.” Nezumi smiled slightly. “You know, I can see now why you try to be alone as much as possible. Everyone’s pretty fucking brutal to you, myself included.”

“You  _don’t say_ ,” Shion spat back sarcastically as he sat down again.

“So how’d that whole thing start?”

“What ‘thing?’”

“The deal where everyone thinks you jerk off to your guitar in a practice room all day.”

Shion sighed and glared at the wall next to him. “I think someone said it as a joke back when I was a freshman, it turned into a rumor, and now,” he gestured a hand at nothing in particular, “here we are. As far as the rest of it goes with this school, it’s a fact.”

“How can it be a fact if it’s not true? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Shion turned his gaze to Nezumi. “I mean what’s fact in this  _school_. As long as everyone  _wants_  it to be a fact, it’s a fact. That’s how it works. You could put a neon sign flashing the truth in everyone’s faces and they’d  _still_  believe whatever they want to believe. It’s so stupid, but that’s just how it is.”

Nezumi looked down and nodded. “Yeah… Couldn’t have said that better myself.”

Shion leaned forward on his guitar and stared off thoughtfully. “Do you think we’re all complete assholes to each other to begin with or do you think it’s this school making us that way?”

“I think a little of the first, a lot of the second.”

“Guess that makes the most sense. I mean, no one wants to fucking be here.” Shion scowled down at the floor. “ _I_  don’t want to be here.”

“I don’t want to be here, either, Shion. But that’s just one of those things about life. You end up in a lot of places you really don’t want to be.”

“Nezumi?”

“Yeah?”

Shion looked up at him. “Where do you think you’ll go when you’re done with school?”

“That’s a long time from now. I’m sure a lot of things will happen before then, so I can’t say I have a single clue.” Nezumi frowned at the floor as he spoke, then looked up at Shion. “Since you’re asking, you must have your life planned out. Why else would you bring it up? Tell me what you have schemed up for your brilliant future.”

Shion shook his head and sighed. “I really don’t know. Guess I gotta figure that out soon.”

“Well, you’ve got over a year to do that, so don’t worry about it so much.”

Shion shook his head a second time. “No, I’m graduating after this semester. I’m outta this hellhole a whole year early.”

“You lucky bastard…” Nezumi watched the other carefully for a moment. “Oh, right. You’re genius boy who gets perfect grades without going to a single class.”

“That’s not true. I go to my classes when I have a test or a quiz to take. And there  _is_  one class I’ve failed. Twice, actually.”

“Really now?” Nezumi was genuinely surprised by his statement. “And what might that be? What course has genius boy so impossibly stumped?”

Shion bit his lip and glared at the floor for a long moment before spitting out an answer. “Gym.”

“Oh. That makes sense.”

“It’s pretty much just a grade based on how many times you can force yourself to show up and take off your clothes around your classmates.”

“That’s… actually a pretty damn accurate description. You should write the school’s course catalog.”

Shion laughed loudly and leaned back in his chair. “That would be  _great!_  ‘Algebra II: Teacher thinks she’s clever by alternating weekly surprise quizzes between Tuesday and Thursday.’ ‘Freshman English: Actually Art 101.’ ‘Sophomore English: Turn classic novels into venn diagrams.’ ‘Calculus: You’re on your own with this one.’ ‘Speech Class: Enough tears will gets a solid B.’ ‘World History: Get away with sleeping in the back row.’” He laughed again. “Can I  _please_  make next year’s catalog?”

Nezumi let out a single, quiet laugh. “I should have you look at my schedule and tell me how to get through this semester.”

“Sure, I’d do that. Oh, wait!” Shion looked at Nezumi with wide eyes. “You wanted me to help with your homework! Do you have it with you?”

“It’s in my locker.”

“Then let’s go get it.” Shion started to get up from his chair.

“Shion, there’s fifteen minutes left of school.”

Shion froze halfway standing. “Oh. Right.” He sat back down, his eyes never leaving Nezumi. “I could… Um… W-Well… If I…”

Nezumi listened to the other struggle for a little while before saving him from his own awkwardness. “Shion, do you want to come over to my place so we can work on my homework?”

A smile twitched on Shion’s face a few times and he glanced between Nezumi and nothing in particular next to him. “Y-Yeah, that’s what— I-I—” He let out a small sigh and nodded. “Yes.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Catching up is turning out to be a real bitch.”

“I’m guessing that’s how it usually goes.”

“Yep.” Nezumi took his feet off the stool and sat up straighter. “So, how about another song before school’s over?”

“Really?! I-I mean, yeah, sure!”

Once the two found another song they both knew, they played through it, but with far less energy than before. Nezumi frowned at the other when they finished.

“Shion. That kinda sucked compared to the first time. I mean the notes were right but it felt pretty stale.”

Shion leaned on his guitar and frowned rather sadly. “I didn’t really get into it at all. I didn’t want you to make fun of me again, so I didn’t let myself this time.”

Nezumi watched him for a long moment before speaking again. “Well, then. Why don’t we make an agreement. You’ll never play that shitty around me again, and I’ll keep my mouth shut about how you play your guitar, no matter how weird it might be.” He held out his hand. “Deal?”

Shion stared at the hand offered towards him, hesitated, then took hold of it. “Deal.”

“Good. So how about we try that one again? I don’t want it stuck in my memory as sounding so pathetic.”

Shion grinned and readied himself to play again. “From the top?”

Nezumi nodded, and Shion began to play.


	8. Chapter 8

“World History, French II, Algebra II, and Phys. Ed.”

Shion took the schedule from Nezumi’s hand and glanced over it himself. “Thrilling.”

“Yeah… The only thing I’m really not looking forward to is gym.”

“Does anyone even  _like_  gym?”

“People who hate their other classes more than gym.”

“Fair enough.”

The two sat on Nezumi’s bed in silence for a moment, surveying the books and papers spread out between them. Shion put a hand on his chin and hummed a note to himself. His eyes glanced over everything once more, then focused on Nezumi.

“We should start with your current assignments. It’s more important to keep up than to catch up. What are your assignments you have so far this week?”

Nezumi handed over a notebook that was opened to a page covered with a list. Quickly drawn lines across the paper divided it into three sections, each labeled with a different class.

Shion took the notebook and skimmed over it. “Fancy planner here, Nezumi.”

“That kind of stuff’s too rich for my blood.”

Shion looked up at Nezumi, who stared right back. Then Shion’s eyes darted around the room, glancing over the few things there.

“Go ahead and say it, Shion.”

“Say what?”

“What you’re thinking.”

“I think your parents have questionable budgeting skills considering that the ratio of possessions to square footage is  _much_  greater in the rest of the house than this room, there’s a washer and dryer here, all of your kitchen appliances looked relatively up to date, and there’s an abundance of food readily available. It’s clear that the financial income of this household is unevenly distributed, and I’d even go as far as to say unjustly so.”

Nezumi stared at him and didn’t say a word.

“Nezumi, do they expect you to get a job?”

“…The fuck was  _that?”_

“You asked what I was thinking, so I told you.”

After a moment of complete silence between the two, Nezumi burst into laughter.

Shion blinked at him with a blank expression. “What’s so funny?”

“Y-you—!!” Nezumi struggled to answer while laughing. “You’re always throwing curses around like it’s nothing and  _now—_ ” He had to pause and laugh again. “You sound like a fucking  _textbook!!”_

“You asked me what I was thinking! Did you expect me to lie about it?”

Nezumi snickered behind a hand and nodded. “I did, actually.  _That_  was the last thing I expected to hear!”

“I still don’t understand why you’re laughing. I wasn’t making a joke.”

Nezumi only laughed harder. “Shion, you don’t make any goddam sense!”

“Was I not clear?”

Nezumi grinned and shook his head, barely able to hold back his laughter.

“Nezumi, why are you laughing?!”

Still, Nezumi failed to get out an answer and shook his head again.

Shion pushed aside the papers and books between them and knelt in front of Nezumi. Firmly, he placed his hands on either side of the other’s face and lifted his head so their eyes were level. The laughter ceased.

“Shion, wh—”

Nezumi cut himself off and stared. Shion’s red eyes bored into his own gray ones with an almost frightening intensity only inches away.

He started again. “Shion, what are you doing?”

“Are you okay?!”

“Are  _you?!”_

Still carefully searching Nezumi’s eyes with his own, Shion slowly sat back. “You wouldn’t stop laughing, so I thought something was wrong with you.” His hands let go and came to lightly rest on the other’s knees.

“Are you  _really sure_  you’re not gay?”

“What?!”

Nezumi glanced from Shion’s hands back up to his eyes with a slight nod. Shion blinked, then looked down to see what Nezumi was gesturing to. When he realized just what he was doing, he quickly pulled his hands away and scooted back to where he’d been sitting before, blushing profusely. His wide eyes glanced between Nezumi and everything else around them.

“I-I’m sorry! I keep touching you!”

“It’s alright. I seem to have that effect on people.”

Shion took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh while his gaze focused on the books and papers on the bed. “How about we work on that homework?” He quickly reorganized the papers he’d messed up only moments ago. “So first… Let’s get out your math homework. That seems to take the most effort for most people as far as I can tell.”

Nezumi picked up a book and a few papers. Shion glanced over the list again and took the book. He flipped through a few pages, then set it down in front of Nezumi.

“So, in this lesson, you’re applying this formula to more complex equations, whereas it looks like the lessons before were covering the concept and the basics.” He looked up at Nezumi. “Do you know any of this already?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, so how about we go back…” Shion flipped a few pages until he found the beginning of the chapter. “Let’s just start here so you’ll definitely understand what’s going on. I’m assuming the class started here. Or maybe the chapter before. Hmm… Well, we’ll worry about that later. Let’s start with this.” He tore a paper from the notebook and placed it on the opposite page of the math book. “So, here we have…” He hesitated, tapping his pencil on the paper. “I…”

“You don’t know?”

“No, I can’t read upside down.”

“Then just side beside me.”

Shion hesitated again, then moved some of the books and papers aside to make room for himself closer to Nezumi. Nezumi did the same to sit side by side with him. Shion placed the textbook in front of them and leaned forward to pick up where he’d left off.

“Okay, so I’m guessing you’ve already seen this formula thrown around a bit in class the past couple days, so I’ll explain exactly  _why_  it’s used. That should help it stick in your brain a little better, I think.”

For some time, Shion taught Nezumi his course material for the week and then left him to start an assignment on his own. They were quiet for a long while, both working diligently, until Nezumi made a small sound of frustration.

“What’s up?”

“I keep trying and it’s  _not_   _fucking working._ ”

Shion leaned a bit closer and glanced over it, then at the problem in the book. “Don’t worry. You just missed a negative when you were copying the problem. Happens sometimes.” He reached over with his own pencil and marked it in. “Otherwise, you’re doing just fine. You’ve definitely got the concept down.” Shion skimmed over the rest of the problems finished, then returned to his own work.

After a moment, Nezumi looked over. “What are  _you_  working on? I thought you didn’t do homework at home.”

Shion shook his head once and kept writing. “It’s your math assignments for the first two weeks.”

Nezumi opened his mouth to protest, but shut it again and watched the equations fly across Shion’s paper. If anything, it seemed like his own writing abilities were the only thing slowing him down. Nezumi knocked a knuckle against the other’s head.

“Jeez, what the hell’s even  _in_  there…”

Shion still didn’t look up. “A brain.”

“Got that figured out, at least.”

After another moment of watching Shion work, Nezumi returned to his own. Every now and then, he’d look over at what Shion was working on. It was almost distracting how quickly the other worked.

“You said you hate school, right?”

“Yes. I really hate school.”

“But you also said all this stuff’s easy for you.”

“Yes. It’s all very easy.”

“So why would you hate school if it’s easy for you?”

“It’s  _too_  easy.” Shion put the paper he was working on aside with a stack of other papers. “Besides, school isn’t about actually learning. It’s  _entirely_  memorization. Seriously, there’s nothing else. Even in classes where you’re supposed to ‘make your own evaluations,’” he gestured quotation marks and spoke sarcastically, “it’s all just memorizing what’s been taught. The teacher only wants one answer. Memorize that, and you’re good to go.” He picked up another paper and got to work again. “To be honest, I can’t say I’ve actually  _learned_  anything from my classes. I’ve acquired information to store in my memory, but actually learning in that school for me has been outside the classroom. And it’s nothing fun, either. I’ve learned more about people than I want to know. Or at least I’ve learned enough to know I don’t like being around them.”

Nezumi stared down at his nearly completed assignment, thinking over Shion’s words. “I don’t think that’s too far from the truth at all. I’d say I’ve at least learned  _some_  things from my classes, but yeah, your biggest lessons at school usually aren’t in the curriculum.”

“Like learning that kids are taught to be assholes to each other.”

“Like learning how to fight and win despite any disadvantages.”

“Like learning just how stupid people can be when they get stuck thinking with a group mentality.”

“Like learning that more shit goes on than you think because only the idiots get caught.”

“Like learning that people cope with their own issues by dehumanizing others.”

“Like receiving  _actual_  sex ed.”

Shion looked up from his work and glanced over momentarily. “That’s… pretty frustrating.”

“What, sex ed?”

“Yeah. I really can’t say I know  _anything_  about sex, even after taking sex ed.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“If I had to summarize that class into one sentence, I’d say I was taught that if you aren’t abstinent, you’ll end up with ten different STDs and the girl will get pregnant and die. And I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that’s not quite how it works.”

“Yeah, and they assume everyone’s straight. Homosexuality doesn’t exist and asexuality just means something’s wrong with you. At least in their books.”

“I…” Shion hesitated and frowned down at his paper. “I don’t even know what asexuality is.”

“Use your giant brain a little. Just because the word ‘sex’ is in there doesn’t mean you have to freeze up. Just think in terms of science.”

Shion was quiet for a moment, frowning deeper. “…So,  _not_  sexual?”

“That’s the general gist of it.”

“There are people like that?”

Nezumi laughed. “See? Your class says that’s not normal.” He crossed his arms and leaned forward, turning his head to smirk up at the other. “And I’m assuming you know what  _homosexuality_  is.”

“Of course I know.”

“But what do you know  _about_  it?”

Shion’s eyes met Nezumi’s gray ones, his own widening. “I-I… don’t know anything.”

“Well, then. Do you think it’s  _wrong?”_

Shion blinked a couple times and frowned slightly. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Mm-hm…” Nezumi sat back again and returned to his homework. “My advice is that you shouldn’t let anyone decide your opinion for you.”

Shion nodded, but didn’t say anything.

For a long while, they sat in silence. Neither said a word until Nezumi finished the last of his math homework.

“Hey, I’m done now.”

“Sorry, just give me another minute,” Shion said quickly, eyes never leaving the page he was writing on.

“Um, alright…”

Nezumi patiently waited, watching the pencil in Shion’s hand write impossibly fast. There was a small sigh and the pencil was down.

“Sorry, I wasn’t quite done yet. I didn’t mean to make you wait.”

“It’s fine. My brain could use the break.”

“Break?”

Nezumi shook his head. “So what’d you get done there?”

“All of it.”

“ _All_  of it?”

“No, I just fucking doodled that whole time,” he said sarcastically. “Of  _course_  I did all of it.”

“Most people can’t do math that fast.”

“That’s nice.”

Nezumi shook his head again, smiling to himself. “There’s something fucking wrong with you, Shion.”

“Like what?”

“How about we do that French homework?”

“That’s not something that’s wrong with me, Nezumi.”

“Yeah. I changed the subject. I didn’t mean to leave you behind there.”

Shion sighed in agitation and handed over the stack of completed homework. “Here’s your make-up work.”

Nezumi leafed through the pages and laughed to himself. “I still can’t believe you. Guess I lucked out, huh? This saves me  _hours_.”

“Hours?”

“Yes. This huge fucking stack of homework would have literally taken hours for me to get done. Or for anyone else to get it done. I’m not a super genius like you are.”

“Oh, okay,” Shion replied carelessly and picked up the notebook with the listed assignments. “So, French II… I’m guessing you’ve taken French I, then?”

“Nope.”

“Christ, this school is fucking stupid.”

“It’s alright. I’m much better with words than numbers.”

“Okay. I’ll still learn your class material so I can help if you need it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a brilliant linguist as well.”

Shion looked up at Nezumi and shook his head. “I’m not. I can’t speak any other languages. I can only read and write in them.”

“Probably because you never talk to anyone else.”

“I have to hear words to know what they actually sound like. So maybe I could pick it up after a while if I actually had the opportunity.”

“So, what languages  _do_  you know?”

“Spanish and Italian.”

“Italian?”

“It was offered one year and I thought it might be fun.”

“And was it?”

“No. I got bored.”

Nezumi shook his head slightly. “Shion, why are you still in high school?”

“They wouldn’t let me take all of the credits I need to graduate the first two years for whatever reason so I’m still filling a couple requirements this semester. And… there’s gym.” Shion looked away and picked up Nezumi’s French textbook. “Let’s just start on this.”

“So… Why exactly do you keep failing gym?”

Shion frowned. “Because I never show up.”

“Why not just go, then?”

Putting the book aside, Shion leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and looked at Nezumi.

“Nezumi, do I look normal?”

“Not really.”

“Do I look threatening?”

“Not at all.”

“How many friends do I have?”

“Well, you said something about having two yesterday.”

“To be honest, you’re already the best friend I’ve ever had. Not that it takes much to earn that title from an outcast like me.” Shion sighed and sat back. “But you see what I’m saying, right? I’ve got everything going against me. I stand out, I can’t fight back, and no one will fight  _for_  me. And for whatever reason, locker rooms seem to be the one place in school where everyone is fair game. It’s a war zone. Walking in there is fucking  _suicide_  for someone like me.”

“So how do you plan on getting the credit for it so you can actually graduate?”

Shion looked down with a bitter expression. “I still haven’t figured that out. I haven’t found any loopholes or anything. I really don’t know what to do about it.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

Nezumi watched him in silence for a while before speaking up. “Do you want to make a deal?”

Shion’s eyes returned to the other. “Deal?”

“If you can help me with my work this semester, you know, do a few assignments for me and whatnot when it piles up, then I can watch your back in gym class. Then we’ll both pass our classes no problem.”

“We’re not in the same gym class. You have it fourth period and I have it second.”

“I just started here, so it wouldn’t be hard to just shuffle around my schedule a little. I’ll just get it changed tomorrow morning.”

Shion went quiet and a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“So…? What’s the verdict?”

Shion smiled a bit more and met Nezumi’s gaze, uncertainty in his own eyes. “You… You’d really do that for me?”

“Sure. You’d be helping me out, too, after all. Is that a fair trade?”

Shion stared at him in disbelief, then nodded.

Nezumi smiled back. “Alright, then. I’ll make sure to change my schedule in the morning.”

Shion looked away, anxiously lacing his fingers together. “Um…”

“Yes?”

“I… kind of…”

“… _Yes?”_

“Th-The hug thing—”

“Shion, you don’t  _have_  to hug me. I won’t argue if you do, though.”

“But I—” Shion cut himself off and picked up the French textbook again. “We should keep working.”

“Whatever you say, your majesty.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey, thanks for the help. You’re making my life a lot easier here.”

Shion smiled slightly up at Nezumi. “I keep telling you, i-it’s nothing, really. You’re doing me an _enormous_  favor.”

“It’s not much for me, either. All I have to do is switch some classes tomorrow and give people dirty looks until the end of the semester.” Nezumi gave a small smirk. “Which is something I certainly don’t mind doing on a daily basis.”

“Right,” Shion laughed nervously, “pissing people off’s your thing.”

“That’s at least what I always put in my personals.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Nezumi put his hands in his pockets and looked out from the porch at the sky. “It’s starting to get dark. You should probably get going.”

“O-Oh, right.” Shion looked out at the street and hesitated, anxiously fidgeting with his hands.

Nezumi looked down at him and frowned slightly. “What, afraid of the dark? Need me to walk you home?”

Shion’s wide eyes returned to Nezumi’s. “No! Ah, no, I’m fine. I’m not five.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“U-Um…”

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. “Alright, I  _won’t_  see you tomorrow?”

“N-No, I’ll probably be at school tomorrow.”

“Then what’s the matter? I mean, I’m not kicking you out, but you seem like you’re trying to leave. Or at least you did. I can’t figure out what you’re thinking anymore.” He frowned even more. “I guess if you really  _wanted_  to stay, that’d be fine. I just don’t see why you would.”

“That’s not it! S-Sorry!”

“Jeez, I think I liked you better when you were just pissed off at me all the time. I’m legitimately concerned for your wellbeing right now.”

“I’m  _fine!”_

“Sure fooled me.”

Shion looked at the floor of the porch and let out a small sigh of frustration. “I want to give you a hug because I’m really, really grateful that you’re helping me pass gym!”

Nezumi blinked at him, then laughed. “You fucking loser!”

Shion gave an embarrassed look, only to have Nezumi pull him into a hug. He struggled with himself for a moment, then wrapped his arms around the other in return. He sighed softly and Nezumi let go.

“There’s your hug, your majesty. Does that ease your conscience?”

Shion didn’t make eye-contact, but smiled. “Th-That was…” He shook his head and glanced up at Nezumi just once. “See you tomorrow.”

Nezumi watched him turn away and hurry down the steps to the sidewalk. Once Shion was out of view, he headed back inside. He entered the main door and then his apartment’s door, carefully locking the second one again. Only a few steps inside, a voice reached his ears, the voice of the last person he wanted to talk to.

“Hey.”

Nezumi walked over to the other’s room and stepped inside. “Yes, brother dearest?”

“You’re gay, aren’t you?”

“When the weather permits.”

“You trying to make that albino kid gay, too?”

Nezumi stopped looking at the other while he spoke, instead stepping over to a messy dresser in the room. “I don’t have to try.”

“I’ll tell my dad.”

He began casually looking through the unorganized pile on top of the dresser, carefully picking up or turning around a few things. “Tell him what?”

“That you’re gay.”

“Hm, what a shame.” Nezumi leaned closer to get a better look at something, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Then I’ll have to tell him exactly how you found out.”

“Huh?”

“About how you wanted to try experimenting with boys so you decided to try things with your own brother.” He stepped back and looked directly at the other with a cool, uncaring gaze.

“The fu— You’re full of shit! And you’re not my brother!”

“I am now, brother dearest.” Nezumi raised a cigarette to his lips and pulled a lighter seemingly out of nowhere to light it. “And don’t worry, you definitely liked it. You liked it a  _lot_.”

“What the— Those are mine!”

“Oh?” He paused to take a drag of his cigarette, then exhaled. “Aren’t you a little too young for smoking?”

“Don’t fucking do that in here! My room’s gonna smell like it!”

“At least it won’t smell like a pig lives in here anymore.”

“You  _fucking_ —”

Nezumi raised his eyebrows when the other got up and approached him. “Really? You’re going to beat up your poor little foster brother? What a monster you are.”

“Give those back to me and get out of my room!”

“I’m not done being in here yet. And shouldn’t you share with your siblings? Don’t be so selfish.”

“How’d you even find them?!”

“You’re  _very_  good at hiding things.” He held up the box of cigarettes and looked at it with a small smile before tucking it away in his jacket. “I also found a few other interesting things. You might want to rearrange your room before doing anything too awful to me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

Nezumi gave a lazy look and let his smoky exhale get in the other’s personal space. “Mother would  _weep_ if she knew what kinds of dirty things you like to look at.”

_“You fucking piece of shit!”_

A smirk spread across Nezumi’s face. “So, how do you feel about trying some of those things you were so curious about?”

“What?”

He put a hand on his hip and raised his head slightly, narrowing his eyes and smirking more. “I’m offering myself up for your own personal indulgences.”

_“Get the fuck out of my room!”_

Nezumi nonchalantly stepped out the doorway just as the door was slammed shut. He still had the box of cigarettes and the lighter.

“A welcoming gift. How kind.”

He strolled down the hall, looking around and casually smoking his cigarette until he heard the door open again.

“Hey, give those back!”

“Give what back?”

“Dammit, it’s gonna smell—” He stopped and gave Nezumi a malicious smile. “I’ll just tell my parents _you_  were smoking!”

Nezumi didn’t even bother to look at the other. “Seems awfully farfetched.”

“What?”

“You see, it’s my  _dream_  to one day be a singer. I’d  _never_  do anything so horrid as  _smoke_  and ruin my perfect voice. Now, I know it won’t be easy to reach such a high goal, but I’ll do anything to achieve it. I’ve put my heart and soul into this.” Nezumi smiled sweetly and turned his head to look at the other. “At least that’s what mother thinks. She thinks it’s quite admirable of me to have such passion and drive at my age.”

“You little—” He walked over and pushed Nezumi against the wall by his shoulder.

Nezumi continued to smile, completely unfazed. “Little what?”

“Give me back my shit!”

“Oh, alright.”

Nezumi pulled out the lighter from his pocket and the box from his jacket, holding them out in one hand. Just as the other grabbed them, Nezumi pressed the lit end of his cigarette onto the back of his hand. The hand let go and pulled back.

“WHA— What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Oh,  _I’m sorry_. I thought you wanted that one back, too.”

“You’re gonna pay for this!”

“That’s nice.” Nezumi smiled to himself, realizing exactly where he’d picked up that habit from already. “Would you mind letting me get back to my room, now? Because if you’re not interested in exploring those curiosities we talked about earlier, I’ve got some things I need to…  _take care of.”_

Nezumi received a disgusted look and hard shove.

“You  _sick motherfucker!”_

Nezumi took a step back, still smiling. “Just let me know if you’re ever interested later. There’s  _plenty_  of room in my bed for another person.”

He watched the other look even more disgusted and walked back to his own room.

“I can’t wait for you to fucking leave!” He said before going through his door.

Nezumi’s smile turned even sweeter. “I can’t wait for the day you  _die_.” He turned to head back to the basement, blowing a kiss to the other as he did. “Have a good night, brother dearest.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Ready for gym class, your highness?”

There was no response. Nezumi looked over at Shion to see a grim expression on his face.

_Perhaps now isn’t the time to be joking_.

They continued down the hall until they reached the gymnasium. Only a few steps further would get them to the locker room, but Shion stopped right there. Nezumi stopped shortly after and turned to give the other a questioning look.

Shion took a steadying breath and met Nezumi’s gaze. “Please tell me you’re honestly going to watch out for me when we go in there.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t go back on my word. It’s part of our deal, after all.”

Shion didn’t look too terribly convinced, but nodded and hesitantly walked towards the locker room door. He put his hand on the doorknob and let out a sigh that ended up sounding more like a sound of distress.

Nezumi leaned close from behind Shion and lightly put a hand on his shoulder. “I won’t let anything happen to you in there, I promise.”

Shion nodded, took a deep breath, and opened the door. As soon as his hand let go, it moved as though to run through his hair but instead stayed there to shield his face. His shoulders tensed and he kept his eyes downcast.

“Ohh, look who decided to join us!”

“Hey, it’s albino kid!”

“Shaaawn!”

“Got anymore tattoos you wanna show off?”

Shion didn’t say a word and went over to his own locker all while avoiding any kind of eye-contact. Nezumi followed after, giving everyone they passed a cold, judging stare. He could hear a whispered string of curses from Shion that only grew more frantic when he twisted the combination lock until it clicked open.

“Oh, he’s gonna actually  _change_  today!”

“Ooh, take it  _off!”_

Nezumi crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers next to Shion, looking highly unimpressed. He glanced over to see Shion slowly unzip the jacket he was wearing and shrug out of it. Only then did Nezumi realize Shion had been wearing a bandana snugly around his neck under the collar of his jacket all three days he’d known him. He then understood why when Shion’s shaking hands reluctantly untied it. A red line wrapped around his neck, standing out against his pale skin.

“There it is!”

“ _Wow,_  Shawn, you’re  _so cool._ ”

Shion held onto the edge of his locker with a trembling hand while he tried to take a few deep breaths. He then let go and pulled off his shirt over his head, revealing that the red line wasn’t only on his neck but rather continued around his torso. He immediately received several mocking catcalls. Shion struggled with his gym shirt, shaking too badly to get a proper hold on it and pull it on. He looked close to tears.

_“God… fucking… dammit…”_

Nezumi nonchalantly stepped away from the lockers and stood in a spot that mostly shielded Shion from view. He crossed his arms and smiled lightly while his eyes scanned the room.

“Come on, now. Even someone like  _me_  has  _some_  self control in a room full of undressing men. I’ve kept all of  _my_  comments to myself, haven’t I?”

“Wh… Who the fuck are  _you?”_

“Don’t worry about it, darling. I’m just here for the show.”

“What the fuck?!”

“Please, don’t stop undressing. I was enjoying myself quite a bit.”

One of the boys strode over to Nezumi, completely infuriated.

“You askin’ to get beat up?” He raised a fist in a threatening manner. “You want a piece of this?!”

“Oh, are you interested? Hm, you’re not quite my type, but I don’t mind.”

“You  _fucking_ —”

The boy made to throw a punch, only to have Nezumi grab him and shove him hard against the lockers in an instant. The impact made a bang loud enough that the rest of the room went quiet. Nezumi kept a strong hold on the other and gave him a devilish grin.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to touch without asking first?” He only grinned wider when he didn’t receive any response. “Lucky for you, I believe in second chances. Let’s try that again, shall we?” He let go of the other and gave him a rough push aside. Nezumi watched him stagger back and struggle to find his balance for a moment. With his hands out as if to present himself, Nezumi took a casual step forward. “Ask for permission to touch me and then  _maybe_  we’ll talk.”

“What the hell, man?!”

Someone else came over, presumably the boy’s friend.

Nezumi crossed his arms and frowned slightly. “You, too? Well, I’ll admit I’ve never done anything as bold as a  _threesome_ , but I’m always willing to try something new, I suppose.”

“You’re  _sick,_  man.”

A sweet smile replaced Nezumi’s frown. “And you’re  _very_  attractive. Just my type.” He took another step and leaned forward a bit towards the other. “I’m looking forward to the end of class so I can watch you undress  _all over again.”_

The boy’s friend rushed towards Nezumi to tackle him. Nezumi braced himself and grabbed him by the shoulders. The other’s weight was too much against his own and he was forced to step back against the lockers. A second later, a movement caught his eye. Nezumi’s eyes went wide.

“Shion, don’t—!”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Shion had leapt onto the boy’s back and yanked his hair hard enough to free Nezumi from his hold.

“Shion!”

Before Nezumi could even try to help, Shion was slammed back against the lockers. He cried out in pain and let go, falling into a heap on the floor. Nezumi gave the boy a punch in the face hard enough to send him staggering back several steps.

“Cut it out already, ladies.”

Everyone stopped and looked towards the door to see the gym teacher there, arms crossed and frowning.

“Leave the poor kid alone, alright? Injuries, to the nurse’s office. Rest of you, finish getting dressed and get in the gym.”

The teacher left and everyone silently did as they were told. Nezumi glanced around to see if anyone else had decided to get in one last hit.

_Guess the teacher’s got them all pretty well whipped, huh?_

He knelt down by Shion and tried to get a look at him, but the hand shielding his face blocked Nezumi’s view.

“Hey, Shion.”

Shion didn’t answer.

“You okay?”

There was a long silence before Shion finally spoke softly.

“…Please don’t look at me.”

“Just tell me if you got hurt. It sure sounded like you did.”

Shion sniffled quietly and held his head in his hands. Nezumi took the opportunity to look at the other’s bare back. It was fairly scraped up and a few spots were lightly bleeding.

“Shion, you’re bleeding. Let me get you cleaned up. Or I can take you to the nurse. Which do you want?”

Shion shook his head. “Just leave me here.”

“That wasn’t one of the options. Can you stand up?”

When Shion didn’t try to stand, Nezumi took his hands and pulled him up onto his feet. His legs supported him for only a second before they gave out and he began to fall forward. Nezumi wrapped his arms firmly around the other.

“Shion—!”

He flinched, anticipating an impact with the floor. “Just leave me here, please.”

“I already said that’s not an option. Let’s grab the rest of your clothes and we’ll go to the bathroom, alright?”

Shion shook his head.

Nezumi sighed and gently put Shion back onto the floor against the lockers. He then went over to Shion’s open locker, took out Shion’s regular clothes, tossed his gym shirt back inside, and shut the locker door. He put the clothes over his shoulder and knelt down by Shion again.

“I’ll just have to take care of you like the distressed maiden you are.”

He scooped up Shion into his arms and stood again.

“N-Nezumi, don’t!!”

“Too late.”

Shion made a sound of displeasure but didn’t fight back. There were still a few others in the locker room that looked on.

“Hey, Shawn! Is he your  _boyfriend?”_

Shion kept his face covered and forced himself to take even breaths, not answering.

“Oh, no, I’m afraid not,” Nezumi replied instead. “I’m just not so completely conceited as to think that making any effort to help someone who clearly needs it is a waste of my precious time. Nothing more intimate than that.”

“…Wait, did he just…?”

Before anyone had fully realized that they’d been insulted, Nezumi had kicked the door open and carried Shion out of the locker room.

“Nezumi, please… Put me down…”

“Can you walk?”

He received no answer.

“Then no, I  _won’t_ put you down.” Nezumi looked down at the other and frowned. “Why are you keeping your face covered?”

“I don’t want you to look at me.”

“What, did you get an ugly black eye or something?”

“No…”

“Then what’s the matter?”

Shion shook his head slightly, and then Nezumi saw it. A tear slid down the other’s cheek beside the hand that was trying so desperately to hide it. He didn’t say anything about it.

Once they were in the bathroom, Nezumi set Shion down to sit on the heating unit that was at far side of the room. He took the clothes off his shoulder and set them down on the heater as well.

“Isn’t that nice. A heater the perfect size for sitting. Or napping if you’re  _really_  desperate, I suppose.”

Shion still said nothing.

“I’ll admit, I  _do_  enjoy listening to the sound of my own voice, but it’s getting a little awkward talking to myself.”

“…Sorry.”

Nezumi frowned and went over to the sink. He tore several pieces of paper towels, folded them up, and ran the water for a few seconds before getting them wet. He shut off the water and returned to Shion.

“I’m going to clean off the blood, alright? Don’t worry, there’s not much there at all. It’s just scrapes that don’t even really need bandaging.”

Shion flinched and gasped quietly at the initial contact of the wet towels, but was otherwise silent as Nezumi worked.

“…I’m sorry I broke my promise, Shion. But at the same time, I need you to understand that you  _cannot_ help me unless I ask you to. That’s  _extremely_  important.”

Shion sniffled and let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I just thought you were going to get hurt.”

Nezumi smiled to himself. “I appreciate your intentions, but trust me, I’m pretty sturdy.”

“But he had you pinned against the lockers.”

“He’d be lucky to get one hit. I know what I’m doing.”

“…I feel so stupid now.”

“I don’t think that’s the right word. Reckless, maybe. But I’m a bit at fault, too. I didn’t tell you that you needed to stay out of it unless I said otherwise.” Nezumi tossed the bloody paper towels into the garbage and tore off some more from the roll. “Here, clean off your face because I’m going to need you to stop hiding it in a minute.” He handed a piece to Shion. “And if it makes you feel any better, I still don’t know what you look like when you cry. I just know that you were.  


“Oh…”

“It’s fine, I understand. That was pretty rough back there. I honestly thought you were being overly dramatic about the whole thing until we got in there. I see now why you hate everyone so much at this school. It’s like everyone’s collectively decided to be complete dicks to you.”

Shion nodded slightly and wiped the teary mess off his face. When he was done, he crumpled the towel into a ball and tossed it at the trash can. It bounced off the edge and landed on the floor.

“Dammit.”

“Now  _that’s_  being overdramatic. Cursing over a paper towel missing the garbage.” Nezumi knelt in front of Shion and gave him a small smile. “So, we’ve figured out that standing up right away didn’t work, so we’re going to take our time just sitting up, alright?”

Shion looked back at him with a slightly confused expression.

Nezumi got up again and stood beside Shion, putting one hand on his lower back and the other hand on his chest. Shion took in a small, sharp inhale at the touch and glanced towards the other, but didn’t say anything.

“If you try to sit up right away, it’s going to hurt like a bitch, so work with me. Hopefully there’s no serious damage, though I think you’d be in a lot more pain if something was that bad.” Nezumi centered his hands a bit more on the other’s body. “Just do your best to relax. I’ve got you, so you can let out that breath you’ve been holding in for the past twenty seconds.”

Very slowly, Shion exhaled and let his weight press against Nezumi’s hand.

“Good. Keep breathing like that, as deep as you can without it hurting. I’m going to help you sit up now, alright? Let me do all the work. Just relax and tell me if something hurts. We’re in no hurry.”

Very slowly, Nezumi pressed Shion’s chest to uncurl him from his slouched over position, keeping his back supported. He could feel the other’s weight lift slightly from his hand.

“Shion, don’t help.”

There was a shaky sigh and the weight returned. After a small amount of progress, Shion gasped and shut his eyes tight.

“I’ve got you, Shion. Just breathe for now. We’ll stay here a while. When it feels okay, let me know.”

After a few seconds, Shion grimaced and nodded slightly.

“Shion, I  _know_  you’re not okay yet. Seriously, we can stay here for the rest of the day if you really need it. Don’t push yourself. At all. Why don’t you keep your eyes closed for now?”

Shion gave another small nod. After a while, Nezumi could feel the other’s body release some of its tension and heard a soft sigh.

“That’s it, good. Ready for a little more?”

Shion hummed a soft note in response.

They continued the process for several minutes until Shion was sitting up straight again. Nezumi smiled down at him and took his hand off the other’s chest.

“You seem to be doing alright, so let’s have you lean back a bit so that won’t hurt later.” He kept his hand on Shion’s back and placed the other hand on his shoulder. “Same as before, let me do all the work.”

It went much more smoothly that time with only a few pained pauses until Shion was staring right up at Nezumi.

“Just one more thing to stretch, alright? We’re almost done.” Nezumi carefully switched Shion’s weight from one hand to the other and reached over him. “Can you grab my hand with both of yours?”

Shion did as he was told and Nezumi gently arced their joined hands overhead. He slowed down considerably once Shion’s hands were straight out in front of him.

“Again, same as before. Tell me to stop when you need it.”

They only had to stop twice before Nezumi had their hands nearly to the surface of the heater behind Shion. With just as much care, Nezumi returned their hands to their normal position and helped Shion sit up again.

“How’s that, your majesty?”

Shion gave a slightly pained smile, but looked significantly better than before. “I don’t feel completely crippled anymore, at least.”

“Sorry, I can’t make it  _all_  better. You’ll hurt for a few days and probably have a nice pretty rainbow of bruises all over your back.” Nezumi stepped in front of the other and took hold of his arms just above the elbow. “Grab my arms. We’re standing up.”

Shion held on and looked down nervously.

“I won’t let you fall, don’t worry. Alright, ready?”

After receiving a nod, Nezumi helped Shion stand. There was a moment of instability, then Shion was securely on his own feet. Nezumi let go and gave him a pleased smile.

“Looks like you’ll live after all.”

“Nezumi?”

“Yes, your majesty?”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“Nice?”

“You didn’t have to do any of this. I even asked you not to and you helped me anyway. So why did you help me?”

Nezumi crossed his arms and his smile became a grim one. “Because it’s fucking  _awful_  to wake up in the morning stuck in your own bed because you can’t even move. Which reminds me, make sure you do some stretches when you get home, before you go to bed, and when you wake up tomorrow.” His smile turned pleasant again. “You might want to get dressed now that you’re not sitting on a nice warm heater. But first, just out of curiosity…” Nezumi ran a fingertip along the red line wrapped around Shion’s chest, observing it carefully. “…Exactly how far does this go?”

Shion stepped back and quickly grabbed his shirt, not looking at Nezumi. “It stops right at my left foot. What, do you want me to fucking  _show_  you?”

“If you want. Though I get the feeling you don’t.” Nezumi glanced over Shion one more time before the shirt was pulled back on.

“That’s the other thing I really didn’t want you to see.”

“Why?”

“Um, did you not notice how fucking  _weird_  it is?”

“I think ‘attractive’ is a better word for it.”

“What?”

“So, is there a story behind it?”

Shion tied the bandana back around his neck, looking extremely irritated. “Remember that conversation we had the other day about subjects we don’t want to talk about and I didn’t tell you what  _my_  sore subject was? Well, this is it.”

“Right. My mistake.”

Shion pulled on his jacket, zipped it up, and sighed. “Sorry. You just helped me out and now I’m acting like this.”

“It’s alright. There’s a certain charm to your moodiness.”

Shion didn’t respond.

“Well, lunch is right after this, right? Though we’ve got some time before then.”

“I don’t eat lunch.”

“Hm, no wonder you’re so cranky all the time. And your mother lets you get away with that?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“Of course. Any reason for skipping?”

“I hate going to the cafeteria.”

“Well, I know it’s not quite the same as a five-star restaurant, but it’s not bad enough to keep me from getting my free government-paid meal everyday.”

Shion sighed and crossed his arms. “It’s not nearly as bad as the whole locker room issue, but it’s sort of the same. I mean, it’s overly stressful for someone like me.”

“Someone like you?”

“I don’t have any friends, Nezumi. And only fifty percent of the time is there an empty table for me to sit at. It’s pretty fucking awkward and embarrassing to be stuck looking for a place to sit that doesn’t exist. Standing in a cafeteria is like asking for everyone to notice you, and I look like a complete freak to top it all off. Feeling really hungry at the end of the day is worth not going through that.”

“Mm-hm. So why not bring a lunch?”

“You’re not the only one who gets free lunches, you know.”

“I see.” Nezumi put his hands in his pockets and smiled down at Shion, eyes slightly narrowed. “Then why don’t you start eating lunch with  _me?”_

“Why the hell would you want to do that?”

Nezumi’s smile immediately became a frown. “Because we’re friends, idiot.”

“You’re…” Shion hesitated and glanced away for a second. “You’re not just using the term ‘friends’ mockingly?”

“That’s right, Shion. I’m willing to call myself your friend.”

Shion looked down and smiled. “I don’t get it. I don’t see how you can like me at all.”

“I don’t get it, either. But I definitely like you.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Oho!  _Friends?!”_  Inukashi laughed and walked into the practice room with Shion close behind. “I asked you to get him to  _sing_  for us,” Inukashi paused to look at Shion and spun a stick in his hand for a second before pointing it accusingly up at the other, “not be  _friends_  with him.”

Shion inhaled sharply and froze where he was, his wide eyes staring at the drumstick that was only an inch away from his face. “I-It just ended up that way!”

“Jeez, what an overachiever.” With an annoyed sigh, Inukashi withdrew and continued on into their room. He sat on his usual stool and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “To be honest, I didn’t expect you to make this work at all.”

Shion shut the practice room door and frowned. “So you were just waiting for me to fail?” He sat down and started getting out his guitar from its case.

Inukashi let out a single laugh. “Basically.”

“And you say  _I’m_  unbearable to be around…”

“Psh, I don’t think you’re in any position to be telling anyone how nice it is to be around them.”

“Whatever. He says he likes me.”

“Bullshit. No one just  _likes_  you.” Inukashi raised his eyebrows and played a racing line of triplets on the snare, filling the room with an agitated energy.

Shion chewed his lip and frowned, but didn’t say anything back. Instead, he focused on carefully tuning his strings.

Inukashi shrugged and went on to warm up on his own.

After a couple minutes, he stopped and crossed his arms. “You think he’s just fuckin’ with us?”

Shion looked up in surprise. “What? What do you mean?”

“Do you think he’s just not coming, dumbass?”

Shion’s expression fell and he looked back down. “I don’t  _think_  he’d do that…”

A small smirk crossed Inukashi’s face. “What, you know him  _that_  well already?”

“I-I— It’s barely been two days!” Shion said defensively.

The slight blush on his face earned him a snicker from the other.

“You got a thing for transfer guy?”

“What?! No!” Shion sat up a bit straighter and frowned.

Inukashi leaned forward and watched Shion with a ridiculous smirk that was barely holding back a laugh. “No? Then why’re you so  _nervous_  about it?” he asked in a mocking tone.

“It’s really hard to talk to pretty people!”

Inukashi sat back and laughed hard. “So! You think transfer guy’s pretty!”

Shion shrank back. “What, haven’t you looked at him yet? I’m not saying it as an opinion. Anyone who says he’s not pretty is full of shit.”

“I haven’t gotten a good look at him yet, but no one’s  _that_  pretty.”

“Well,  _he_  is,” Shion replied quietly.

When Shion anxiously picked out a tune to end their conversation, Inukashi returned to playing an energetic beat. A few more minutes passed by without any sign of Nezumi. The sound of drums came to a stop.

“Shion. He’s not coming.”

“But—” Shion nervously kept his eyes averted. “I really think he’s planning on coming here. I really do.”

Inukashi crossed his arms and watched Shion with an unimpressed look. “You really think, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Inukashi sighed heavily. “Listen. You’re the easiest person to pick on in this entire school. What makes you think transfer guy is any different?”

“Because he  _is!”_

Their eyes met, Shion’s glare full of anger and Inukashi’s gaze only showing mild surprise.

“Not to rain on your parade or anything, Shion, but there aren’t really ‘different’ people. No one’s going to just out of nowhere treat you like you’re special. Just face it. Everyone’s always gonna be a dick to you and that’s just how it goes. It’s not going to magically stop.”

“You’re wrong!”

“Am I? Then where’s transfer guy?”

Shion continued to glare, though he anxiously chewed his lip and stayed silent.

_How could you do this to me, Nezumi?_

“Yeah, you’re gettin’ what I’m saying, aren’t you?”

After a long moment, Shion looked down in defeat. There was a faint ringing in his ears and a sickening disappointment at the pit of his stomach.

“So… We playing anything today? I’m getting tired of talking about useless shit.” Inukashi played out a rhythm impatiently on the rim of his snare.

“No.”

“Huh?” Inukashi’s eyebrows lifted in surprise and his sticks froze where they were, a split second away from another hit. “Really? That’s a first. You’re serious?”

Shion didn’t say a word and simply packed away his guitar.

“Hey, no reason to have a fit about it. I’m just tellin’ you not to get your hopes up about transfer guy.”

For a second time that week, Shion found himself escaping from the room he’d been so used to running to. It felt wrong. Something was out of balance.

“You’re really leaving?”

Shion couldn’t even bring himself to look at Inukashi when he gave his quiet answer. “Yeah.”

Their conversation ended with only that single word. Shion stood up and left the practice room.

He ignored any voices that tried to tell him he couldn’t leave as he made his way out of the building. Once he reached the school’s main entrance, Shion pushed open one of the loud, heavy doors and walked right out into the cold. The sudden drop in temperature at least made him feel better momentarily. It gave him a reason to be so tense and guarded. But then it was only a reminder that he’d left his coat in his locker.

_Fuck it. I’m not going back inside._

He continued to walk home at a brisk pace with his arms crossed and shoulders hunched forward. Only the heat of some unknown anger burning in his chest kept him from feeling completely frozen. The chills running through him at least urged him to get home quickly. It wasn’t until he reached the door that he realized his house key was in his locker at school as well.

_But mom didn’t have work today, so she’s home. At least I hope she is._

Shion knocked his numb fingers against the door over and over until it opened. Karan stood there, looking over him in concern.

“Shion? Home early again? What’s wrong? Don’t you have your key?”

“I forgot it in my locker,” Shion replied before slipping inside.

“What about your coat?”

“Forgot that, too.”

“Shion, honey…”

Shion didn’t stop or look at his mother as he went into his small bedroom. He put his guitar case in its usual corner and flopped down onto his bed, burying his face into his pillow.

There was a soft knock on the doorway to his room.

“Shion? Can I come in?”

Shion didn’t answer. After a long moment, he felt a weight settle next to him and the light touch of fingers running through his hair. The gentle comfort eased away his anger. Under that anger sat a heavy, disappointing sadness that made him feel choked. He ached inside and out in ways he’d never quite felt before.

“Did something happen at school?”

Even if he’d wanted to, Shion couldn’t answer. His voice was stuck in his throat and his eyes burned.

_No, I don’t want to cry a second time today…_

“…You’ll talk when you’re ready, right? I want to know what’s going on so I can try to help.”

Karan rested her hand on Shion’s back and leaned down to place a kiss on his head. The pressure on his bruised back made Shion involuntarily whimper and tense up. Karan paused.

“…Shion? What’s wrong?”

Shion’s fingers clung tightly to the pillow and he took in a sharp inhale. “Mom, don’t— don’t touch there—”

“What? Oh!” Karan lifted her hand from his back. “Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you at school?!”

“Just gym class,” Shion answered quietly.

Karan sighed. “They really need to make that class safer. How many times have you come home with an injury from that class?”

“Not very many.”

She shook her head. “Still too many times. You’re sure there isn’t another class you can take to fulfill that credit?”

“More than positive.”

“Hrm. Does it hurt that badly?”

Shion sniffled quietly and turned his head slightly. “Huh?”

“You’re crying. Does it hurt that much? You walked in just fine, so I had no idea you were hurt at all.”

“No…”

“…Just had a rough day, then?”

“Mm-hm.”

Karan sighed again and continued to comb her fingers through Shion’s hair. “Can I see your back?”

Shion made a displeased sound and didn’t move. Karan carefully tugged the bottom of Shion’s shirt and pulled it up as much as she could. At first, she didn’t see anything, but with a few more inches exposed, some discoloration on Shion’s skin became visible.

“Oh, honey, what happened? Sit up, please. I want to see the rest of it.”

Shion reluctantly sat up and let his mother help him out of his shirt. He hunched forward despite the discomfort it caused.

“Oh, no…” Karan’s fingers lightly touched the bruised area on Shion’s back. “How did you get this?”

“Got pushed against a wall.”

“Hrm…” Karan stood up and placed a kiss on Shion’s head. “Keep your shirt off. I’m coming back with some ice.”

Shion sat there in silence, arms crossed tightly and head ducked down. It wasn’t long before Karan returned and sat by him again.

“Alright, this is going to be cold…”

Shion took in a sharp breath that hissed between his teeth as a sudden chill crawled across his skin. After the initial shock, it didn’t feel bad, though. The cold seemed to dull down the ache in his spine.

“Does that feel alright?”

Shion hummed a quiet note and closed his eyes. “I’m cold.”

“Here, let me get out one of your looser shirts so I can still reach underneath it.”

The cold left his back and the weight beside him lifted off the mattress. Shion opened his eyes and looked up to see his mother opening one of his dresser drawers. A moment later, she was holding out a shirt for him to take.

“Put this on. Then you won’t feel so cold.”

Shion did as he was told. Using his arms to pull his shirt on over his head made him hurt like it did before Nezumi had helped him stretch out enough to stand up again.

_I’m supposed to stretch when I get home, before bed, and when I wake up, right?_

Once the shirt was on and the ice was back on his bruises, Shion thought back through Nezumi’s advice again.

_But I don’t want to listen to you. Not after what you pulled this afternoon._

He knew it was stupid to ignore Nezumi’s words, but he let his hurt convince him to do it out of spite.

“Is something bothering you, honey?”

“N-No—”

Speaking aloud was much more difficult than he’d anticipated. He couldn’t react fast enough to hold back the sobs that interrupted him. He made a feeble attempt to keep quiet, but his voice acted on its own regardless.

“Oh, Shion…”

Shion felt himself get pulled into a warm embrace. Even the ice pressed to his back felt warm in an odd way for a moment. It only made him cry harder.

“It’s okay, honey, just let everything out.”

Crying wasn’t helping anything as far as Shion could tell. If anything, it only made him feel worse. It was just another added humiliation. He wanted to disappear, or at least be somewhere no one could hear him sounding so pathetic.

“M-Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I—” Shion sniffled and forced himself to take a breath. “I-I don’t want to go to school anymore. I c-can’t do it, I can’t do it anymore—” Another rush of hot tears burned his eyes.

“Shion, Shion, I know it’s hard, I know…” Karan’s fingers gently stroked Shion’s soft, white hair as she spoke. “You’ve only got one more semester to get through, that’s all. You’ve made it through ten years of school. You can do a few more months. I believe in you.”

He shook his head and tried to curl forward even more despite the pain it caused. “No, mom, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t do it, I just can’t—” His words dissolved back into sobs that he wished would just stop.

“Oh, honey… If I could make it easier for you, I would…”

“I-I just— I don’t want to have to be around those people or have anyone look at me or talk to me or anything!” Shion held the edges of his sleeves in his palms and pressed his hands to his face. “I wish I was never born, o-or that I could just  _die_ …”

The ice was put aside and the arms around him tightened.

“Shion,  _I’m_  glad you’re alive. Nothing in the world makes me happier than having you as my son. My whole  _purpose_  in life is to help you find your own happiness. I know it’s hard now, but it’ll be worthwhile in the end if you can just make it through one more semester. It’ll go by so much faster than you think.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s gonna be just as bad as it’s always been! It’s gonna be hell! It’s always complete hell, every day, every single fucking day…”

Every bit of his frustration and despair he’d tried to hide from himself overcame him in an overwhelming weight that pulled him down. The ache in his body seemed to penetrate through him until it was all he could feel. Just a dull, hopeless pain.

“Mom, I don’t wanna be alive anymore. It’s too hard. You say it’ll be better once I graduate, but I know it won’t. I’ll still be around people who will treat me the same way. I’ll still hate being stuck living in this world as the person I am. I can’t take this anymore.”

“Shion…”

The way his mother’s voice faltered sent an unexpected feeling of guilt and dread through Shion, settling low in his stomach.

_I’m sorry, mom, I’m so sorry…_

“Losing you would be losing every hope of ever feeling happiness again for me. I couldn’t live without you, even if I tried. You’re  _everything_  to me, Shion. So please—” Karan’s voice cracked and wavered as she spoke, enough that she had to pause momentarily to collect herself to continue on. “ _Please,_  even if you can’t keep going for yourself, keep trying for my sake. Maybe it’s selfish of me as a mother to ask you to do anything solely for me, but I’m  _begging_ you…”

Hearing his own mother cry only made Shion’s tears start up all over again. “Mom, I’m sorry, I made you cry— I-I’m sorry—”

“No, Shion, honey—” Karan hugged him tighter, sniffling and sighing quietly. “I should know how to hold back my tears.”

“Then what about me? Sh-Shouldn’t I know better, too?”

“Of course not. You’re not even done growing yet. I mean that as your mother, I should know how to be strong for you, no matter what. That’s my job.” She kissed the top of his head and smoothed down his hair.

“N-No, your job is being a baker.”

“That’s my part-time job. My full-time job is being your mother. And I couldn’t ask for a better job than that.”

“Oh…”

“And part of that job is making sure I’m always strong enough for the both of us.”

Shion leaned his weight against his mother and let out a shaky sigh. “I’m sorry…”

“Shh, there’s nothing to be sorry for. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

For a while, Karan simply held onto her son while he cried himself out. Neither said a word, even long after they had both settled back into breathing evenly and the air around them grew calm. It wasn’t until it seemed like Shion was beginning to fall asleep when Karan broke the silence.

“Shion? Would you help me make dinner? I think we should bake something for dessert, too. Why don’t I teach you how to make ginger cookies?”

Shion opened his eyes and smiled just a little. “Sure.”

Karan carefully unwrapped her arms from her embrace and stood up. She ran her fingers through Shion’s hair once more before picking up the ice pack she’d set aside earlier. “I’ll get some pain medication out for you, too. I’ll put the bottle by your bed so you won’t have to get up for it in the morning.”

Shion slowly sat up, making a face at the painful sensation the movement brought. “I’ll have to get up for school, anyway. So why bother?”

He blinked when Karan leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“I don’t think an early start to your weekend would be a bad idea. I’ll call the school tomorrow before I head to work, alright?”

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

Shion reached out and took his mother’s hand to give it a small squeeze. “I really, really love you.”

Karan smiled warmly at him, returning the firm hold on his hand. “I love you, too.”


	12. Chapter 12

After Shion had let go of all the emotions that had been weighing him down, he was in a much lighter mood. By the time they’d finished dinner, he was talkative and energetic even more so than usual, much to Karan’s relief. Shion seemed to have an endless amount of information to tell her about ranging from what his classes were like to which albums he was borrowing from the owner of the music shop.

Karan couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually heard Shion talk so much or even smile as much as he was now. It made her happy enough to see that side of her son again she could cry.

It was about the time Shion had entered middle school the happiness that always shone through the discouragement and hurt had disappeared. It was gradual, but once Karan realized it was gone, it hit her hard. Shion no longer talked to her when he returned from school, he stayed shut away in his room, and worst of all, he stopped smiling.

The only thing that seemed to bring back the person her son used to be was music, specifically playing the guitar. Karan could recall clear as day the time Shion had come home from school actually smiling after being distant for so long. Instead of going straight to his room, he sat in the kitchen with his mother and told her about his day, just as he’d done so long ago. He informed her that he’d tried out playing a guitar and loved it. The moment she knew playing guitar would bring some kind of happiness to Shion’s life, Karan vowed to save every extra cent she could to get him a guitar of his own. She knew she was fooling herself to think it would bring back the Shion that smiled everyday despite his struggles, but she didn’t know how else to make his life happier.

She did get a chance to see that part of him if only for a short while the day she gave him his guitar. He’d cried in happiness and never once stopped smiling for the rest of the day. Every extra hour worked and every small luxury skipped were all well worth it to see him so happy again. Karan prayed for a miracle that he’d stay that way.

But he didn’t. Another day of going to school brought back the exhausted sadness that darkened Shion’s face.

Even if the guitar didn’t fix his unhappiness, it kept it from getting any worse. A part of Karan was relieved to see that Shion had plateaued at a constant state of discontentment, though. Watching the life drain from her son so quickly terrified her. It brought on fears that haunted her when she tried to sleep, thoughts of every mother’s worst nightmare.

Still, every night she prayed that Shion would stay strong for another day. She didn’t know what else to do.

Karan knew homeschooling would have kept Shion away from everything that brought him pain and misery. At times, she resented her husband for taking away that possibility when he’d left, but she knew it was useless to hold onto those feelings that belonged to the past. She was left to support herself and Shion on her own, so staying home to school him was impossible. He was left with only the option of bearing through public education, regardless of the fact that it did the exact opposite of its purpose, inhibiting Shion’s personal growth rather than aiding it.

It absolutely killed her to only be able to watch it all happen. She couldn’t protect him from such a cruel world. And in response, Shion had closed himself off from everyone, only associating with others when necessary. It was hard to see Shion refuse to allow himself to be close to anyone, but it completely broke her heart when she received the same treatment as well.

It was another clear memory, one she didn’t like to recall. Shion had come home from what Karan assumed had been a particularly bad day at school judging by the look on his face. She of course felt the need to comfort him and gave him a loving embrace. But Shion didn’t hug back. He’d tensed up and held his arms close to himself, wordlessly refusing the hug. As soon as Shion had shut himself away in his room, Karan cried. It was so unexpected and hurt far worse than being left by her husband. Having Shion reject his own mother’s love completely shattered Karan’s heart.

She never tried to hug him again until he initiated it himself. Nothing so simple as receiving a hug had ever made her so happy.

It was still difficult to connect with Shion, though. He seemed to always keep himself just out of reach.

But since meeting his new classmate, Nezumi, that seemed to be changing. It had only been a matter of days, but there was definitely something different. It was new enough that Karan couldn’t quite figure it out, though. She could only hope Nezumi would break Shion’s usual cycle of depression for the better.

_Nezumi, I hardly know a thing about you, but I pray you’ll be able to help Shion in the ways I can’t._

“Mom?”

Karan blinked a few times in surprise, not realizing she’d completely zoned out. “Yes?”

“What ingredients do we need?”

“Oh, right. Flour, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, butter, molasses, milk, sugar, and vanilla.”

Shion got out the ingredients as Karan listed them off and set them on the counter.

“And we’ll need a mixing bowl. Get out the green one. It should be the size we need.”

Shion did as he was told and pulled out a large, mint green bowl from one of the lower cabinets and set it on the counter as well.

“Dry ingredients first for this one.”

“Okay.”

“Four cups of flour.”

Shion opened up the bag of flour and dug out a measuring cup from a drawer. “We’re making a big batch?”

“We can refrigerate the dough for later. Maybe Nezumi will want some next time he comes over.” Karan smiled and leaned forward on the counter to get a look at Shion’s face. “So, how’s Nezumi doing? I’m surprised you haven’t said anything about him yet.”

“I don’t know. And I don’t care.” Shion glared up at nothing in particular, though it was nonthreatening enough to just look like an angry pout.

“Mm-hm…” Karan looked over him carefully. “It seemed like you were getting along just fine yesterday.”

“That was yesterday, not today.”

“Did something happen today?”

“No.”

Karan frowned and stood straight again. “Then what’s going on?”

Shion rather aggressively measured out the flour, clearly agitated by the topic. “That’s it. Nothing.”

“Shion, honey, you don’t need to fight with the flour. So, what exactly are you talking about, then? Was something  _supposed_  to happen?”

“He was supposed to come play with me and Inukashi during last period.”

“And he didn’t?”

Shion measured the last of the flour and put down the measuring cup with a bit more force than necessary. “Right.”

Karan crossed her arms. “Two teaspoons of baking soda and a pinch of salt. So why do you think he didn’t come today?”

“Obviously he doesn’t like me.”

“Are you sure he meant to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Not show up to your practice.”

“Well, why else would he not show up?”

“Maybe he had to talk to one of his teachers about catching up in class or something. He’s probably still working hard to catch up after missing the first two weeks of class.”

Shion stopped mixing and stared down. “…He just started his fourth period class today.”

Karan smiled. “See? He probably had to talk to the teacher about makeup work.”

Shion scowled and began mixing again. “Well, we won’t know until Monday.”

Karan hummed softly and got out a baking tray from a lower cupboard.

“I’m probably right, though,” Shion added stubbornly.

“Mm, maybe he’ll come by this weekend to visit. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“No.”

“Well,  _I’d_  like to see Nezumi again. He seems so nice, and I think it’s good for you to be around him.”

“I don’t wanna be around him.”

“Maybe some warm cookies and a good night’s sleep will help you change your mind.”

“I’m not four, mom.”

“Just because you’re sixteen now doesn’t mean cookies and sleep won’t make you feel better anymore.” She brushed his bangs out of his face and gave him a smile that held concern behind it. “Five tablespoons of ginger and a teaspoon each of cinnamon and cloves.”

“It’s not a matter of me feeling better.” Shion gave the spices dirty looks as he measured them out. “I just don’t want to be around him anymore.”

“Really, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself with all this. You’re sore, you’re tired, and I know you’re just being difficult. I  _have_  known you your whole life, you know.”

“Of course you’ve known me that long. You’re my mom.”

“And I know you’re really cranky right now. I’m sure you’ll feel differently about all this tomorrow.”

For the time being, the subject of Nezumi was dropped. They finished making the dough not long after and set to work on forming it into individual cookies. Between the two of them, it was done fairly quickly and the batch was put in the oven to bake. The extra dough was put in the refrigerator and they began cleaning the kitchen, though it hardly seemed like a chore at all with the wonderful smell that soon filled the kitchen. They fell into a comfortable silence until Karan suddenly recalled something she’d meant to bring up earlier.

“Oh, Shion, honey, could you do me a favor? One of the women I work with needs someone to watch her kids for a day. Some issues at home came up and she still has to work the next few days. She seemed so upset when she called that I said you’d do it without even asking you. I’m sorry to ask you this on such short notice.”

“It’s fine. I’ll do it,” Shion replied simply.

Karan beamed at him. “Thank you so much. It makes me really happy that you’re so willing to help.”

He shrugged and frowned slightly. “You need someone to do it and I don’t have anything else I need to do, so why wouldn’t I?”

“Because not everyone thinks the same way you do.” Karan kissed her son’s forehead before returning to washing the dishes.

“Is that bad?”

“No, it’s a good thing.”

Shion didn’t say anything more. He picked up a dish towel from where it was hanging and began drying the dishes Karan had just washed.

“I’m lucky to have a son like you. It doesn’t take any coaxing to get your help.”

“Are they good kids?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, they’re very well behaved.”

“Then there’s no reason for me to be unwilling to help out.”

Karan shook her head and smiled to herself. It really didn’t matter that Shion couldn’t understand why his kind nature made him so exceptional, just as long as he stayed that way.

“What are their names?”

The question startled Karan from her thoughts. “Oh! Right, there’s two of them, a little boy named Rico and a little girl, the older of the two, who’s name is also Karan. I’ve only seen them a few times, but they seem like very sweet children. They shouldn’t be any trouble at all.”

“Rico and Karan. Got it.” Shion nodded and put away another dish. “So when am I babysitting them?”

“They’ll be dropped off here Saturday morning around ten.”

“Alright. I’ll be up by then.”

Karan looked at her son, noting there wasn’t a trace of annoyance or disappointment in his expression. He truly didn’t mind having a job suddenly pushed onto him.

“Thank you again, honey.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Well, it’s a big deal to their family. You’re saving them a lot of stress.”

Shion shrugged. “I guess if it helps that much, I can do it again if they ever need it.”

It still seemed unreal to Karan how good of a person her son was. At work, she’d hear countless stories of her coworkers’ children being disrespectful or problematic. Sure, Shion’s attendance at school was an issue, but otherwise Karan couldn’t ask for a better son. His bad habits and small faults were nothing compared to goodness in Shion’s heart.

_If only the world wasn’t so cruel as to leave him bitter and jaded…_


	13. Chapter 13

_This is so fucking stupid._

It agitated Nezumi just how lonely his school day was without Shion being there. It only annoyed him more every time any thought of Shion crossed his mind.

_Sure, he’s my friend now, but that doesn’t mean he actually matters that much._

Despite himself, Nezumi followed the route to Shion’s house rather than simply going straight home once school was out.

_I just don’t want to go home, that’s all. I don’t want to start my weekend of being stuck around that piece of shit I live with so soon. Besides, I should check to see how Shion’s doing after what happened yesterday._

Even after coming up with a list of reasons he was visiting Shion aside from simply seeing him, Nezumi still felt ridiculous knocking on the door to Shion’s apartment. He desperately tried to convince himself that he didn’t actually miss Shion.

The door opened to reveal Shion standing there, looking even more aggravated than usual. “What?” he asked, not an ounce of friendliness in his voice.

“I thought your manners were improving but I guess not. And what happened to the hugs and hand-holding?”

“Shut up.” Shion crossed his arms. “Why are you here?”

“Well, I was coming to see if you were alright since you weren’t at school and I thought maybe your injuries had actually been fatal all along,” Nezumi answered indifferently, “but judging by the attitude, you’re alive and well. Is your mom here? She’s a lot nicer to talk to.”

“ _No_. She’s at work.”

They were stuck there for a moment, glaring at each other while the warmth of the apartment mixed with the cold winter air from outside. Both decided to break the silence a the same time.

“Would you just—”

“Are you—”

“—let me—”

“—coming inside?”

“—inside?”

Their words piled over each other in an awkward mess. They both stopped talking again, but this time Shion just shook his head and stepped aside to let Nezumi enter.

Nezumi walked in and shut the door behind himself. “So, what made you stay home today?”

Shion crossed his arms again, still refusing to look at all happy. “A few things. Doesn’t matter.”

“Mm-hm. And was one of those things your nasty bruise?”

“Maybe.”

Nezumi raised his eyebrows and glanced over the other, looking far from impressed. “You didn’t stretch like I told you to, did you?”

Shion didn’t answer and looked away.

“…You stupid fuck.”

“What?!” Shion glared up at Nezumi. “What makes me stupid?”

“You didn’t do the  _one thing_  I told you to do to help you feel better. I know you didn’t forget, so you’re just being a bitch about it. Why?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Shion replied in defiance. “I didn’t need to.”

“Really, now?”

“Really.”

“Interesting.”

“Huh?”

Nezumi smiled sweetly and in one graceful move, wrapped an arm around Shion’s waist and dipped him backwards.

Shion yelped in pain and desperately held onto the other. “Stop! Stop! Ow,  _fuck—_ ”

“Oh? I thought you were perfectly fine.”

Shion clung onto Nezumi and grit his teeth. “N-Nezumi, please, just—”

Nezumi continued to smile. “I don’t think I’m following you on this. You’re perfectly fine, but…?”

_“Nezumi!”_

“I’m afraid I just don’t understand, Shion.”

“O-Okay, fine, I admit it! You’re right! Now fucking stop it!”

Nezumi quickly but carefully put Shion upright again, who immediately went for one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Nezumi casually sat in the chair on the opposite side, looking quite comfortable. Shion still had his hands supporting his weight awkwardly.

Nezumi watched Shion struggle and nearly laughed. “Can’t even sit down?”

“Shut up!”

Nezumi held up a hand in defense. “Look, this is all you. I tried to help.”

Shion didn’t say anything back. He kept his mouth shut in a tight frown while concentrating on getting himself to properly sit. His fingers gripped tightly to the edges of his chair even after he’d actually sat down.

“…So what was the point of this? Were you trying to somehow prove something?” Nezumi leaned forward, resting his chin on a hand. “Because all you’ve managed to prove is that you’re a complete idiot.”

“I don’t want to listen to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m mad at you.”

Nezumi sat up straight again and held up his hands in an exasperated movement. He shook his head. “I give up. I have no idea what the fuck I did.” He let his hands fall back onto his lap.

Shion stared at him in silence.

Nezumi let out a single breathy laugh. “I don’t even have any smart-ass remarks to say. I’m honestly completely lost here.”

“You didn’t show up last period yesterday.”

Nezumi blinked and raised his eyebrows. “…You’re kidding, right? You’re mad about  _that?”_  He shook his head in disbelief. “Do you not remember me telling you after lunch yesterday that I might end up stuck talking to my fourth period teacher after class for a while?”

Shion fell silent again.

“Feel stupid now?” Nezumi asked with a smirk.

“Do you want any cookies?”

“…What?”

Shion’s expression remained the same. “I asked if you want any cookies.”

“Um. Sure?”

Nezumi watched Shion grimace and stand up. He felt completely thrown off by the other. His cool composure was constantly tripping up with every unpredicted turn. He normally had a general idea of how his interactions with people could go and used that to subtly keep control of any situation. But around Shion, it was hopeless. Nothing made sense. He’d thought of ten different ways their conversation could go and not one of them involved cookies.

Shion returned with a plate of delicious looking cookies, which he set on the table closer to Nezumi. “My mom and I made these last night and she said you might want some.”

Nezumi picked up one of the cookies and broke off a bit. “You were talking to your mom about me? So I’m a hot topic of the household. I’m flattered.”

“She brought it up, not me.”

“Mm-hm. Well, I’m glad your mom likes me, then.”

Shion sat down and leaned forward on the table, taking one of the cookies for himself. Even as Nezumi watched him expectantly, he didn’t say anything.

“So…” Nezumi awkwardly picked up the conversation again. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No.”

“Oh. Well, that was an easy fix.”

“Wouldn’t it be stupid for me to still be mad?” Shion asked before taking a bite of his cookie.

Nezumi frowned. “It was already stupid to begin with.”

Shion suddenly looked anxious. “Shit. I forgot to ask. Did you want anything to drink? I can make coffee or tea. I don’t think we have anything else right now.”

“Just water’s fine.”

Shion got up from his chair and caught himself on the table when he nearly fell for a second. He swore quietly but went on about getting a glass of water.

Nezumi observed him carefully. “Well, wouldn’t your mom be so proud of you. Maybe I was wrong about the manners.”

“Proud? No, I’m just doing what I should be doing.” Shion frowned and took out a glass from a cabinet. “Unless you  _want_  me to be rude.”

“If this is what ‘normal’ is to you, then your mom did a good job raising you. Aside from the unnecessary sass, you’re pretty polite.”

“Oh.” Shion didn’t say any more than that and quietly sat back down after giving Nezumi his water.

Nezumi took it with a quiet word of thanks before taking a drink. He set down the glass on the table and glanced around for a second. “It must be pretty nice having a mom like yours. She seems to know what she’s doing.”

“Yeah, I probably would have killed myself by now if I didn’t have her as my mom.”

Once more, Shion’s words completely threw him off. “That’s sort of a macabre thing to say, isn’t it?”

Shion shrugged. “I’m just being honest. I know she nags about the stupid shit I say and do, but she’s always been really good about knowing when I really can’t handle it and when I need some space. She’s the one who said I should stay home, you know.”

“Well, isn’t that nice? A mom who  _tells_  you to skip school.”

“She doesn’t do that very often, though. But she seems to know when I really do need it. Today would’ve been hell. Well, more so than usual.”

“Even with having me around now?”

“Yeah. I just can’t take it some days.”

They were quiet for a long moment before Nezumi spoke up again.

“You’re exposed today.”

“W-What?!” Shion asked in sudden alarm.

Nezumi gestured toward his own face and neck. “You didn’t cover it up.”

Shion hunched forward and turned his head to the left in a effort to subtly hide the prominent mark he normally kept out of sight.

“It looks good.”

Shion blinked several times, his eyes focused on the wall beside him. “Shut up,” he replied quietly.

Nezumi frowned slightly. “No, really, I think it looks good.”

“Can you just stop?” Shion tried to shoot over a glare, but returned to looking aside only a second later and swallowed hard. “Just let me go for one day without the teasing, okay? I would’ve covered it up if I knew anyone was coming over.”

“I really mean it, though.”

Shion forced himself to keep eye-contact with Nezumi, wearing a small, tight frown. The harsh look didn’t do much to hide the hurt in his eyes. “Look, I know teasing when I hear it, okay? So just shut the fuck up.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Please.  _Please_  just shut the fuck up.”

Nezumi only frowned more. “Well, apparently you  _don’t_  know. Did you forget that I said it was attractive yesterday? Maybe you actually got a concussion. You seem to be forgetting things quite a bit.”

“Didn’t you listen to what I just said?!”

“Don’t tell me you thought I was teasing then, too.”

“What the fuck  _else_  would it be?!” Shion looked close to tears by that point.

“Maybe it was actually a real compliment. Besides, wouldn’t it be odd for me to go out of my way to help you only to harass you right afterwards?”

“I don’t know! I just know that there’s nothing remotely attractive about me! So just fucking stop!” Shion got up from the table and made to walk out of the kitchen.

“What number am I thinking of right now?”

Shion froze, then turned his head to give Nezumi an incredulous look. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“You seem to think you can read my mind, so I’m just testing out your abilities.” Nezumi leaned forward with both elbows on the table and smirked. “So tell me what number I’m thinking of.”

“U-Um. Eight?”

“Wrong. It was six.” He sat back again with a blank expression. “Looks like your mind-reading powers are bullshit. So don’t tell me what I’m thinking as if you know better than me.”

“But… that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Just because  _you_  don’t understand something doesn’t mean it doesn’t actually make sense.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, Nezumi glaring at Shion, who in turn seemed to be lacking any sort of response.

“…Just sit back down, idiot.”

Shion sighed and carefully sat in his chair again. His fingers nervously gripped the edge of the table. “…Why?” he asked hesitantly.

“Why what? Why do I think your scar’s an attractive feature?”

“Yeah. Because, I mean, it’s  _not._ ”

The smirk was back on Nezumi’s face. “Why do you think my eyes are beautiful?”

Shion glanced away, blushing slightly. “W-Well, because they just  _are._ ”

“Really? They seem pretty normal to me. Average at best.”

“What? Are you kidding?”

“I’m not kidding.”

Shion had no response.

Nezumi only smiled more. “Guess we both have our own opinions, then. I’ll keep thinking my eyes are nothing special and you can keep thinking they’re the prettiest eyes in the world. And you can think what you want about that mark of yours, but that doesn’t change my opinion in the least.”

“Well. I don’t like your opinion.” Shion crossed his arms and gave a pout that was likely more childish than he realized.

“That’s nice. So are you done acting like a five year old now?”

Shion almost argued back, but held his tongue and simply sighed instead. “…Yes, I’m done.”

“Good. I was getting pretty irritated.” Nezumi smiled sweetly and ate a bite of his cookie. Just as he was about to speak again, the front door opened and the sound of footsteps could be heard.

“I’m home, Shion! Was your day alright? Feeling any better? Are you due for anymore pain meds?”

Shion looked towards the kitchen doorway where Karan would presumably be at any second. “It’s been okay, it still hurts a lot, and the last dose I took was only an hour ago. Also Nezumi’s here.”

“Oh, he is?” Karan appeared in the doorway, still partially bundled up in her winter clothes, looking a bit cold and out of breath but still smiling. “It’s good to see you again, Nezumi! How are you? Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“I’m doing well, and I appreciate the offer, but I should go home before then.”

“Well, it’s nice having you over to visit either way. Just say so if you change your mind.”

Shion glanced between the other two, then carefully stood up. “I need to go to my room for a bit.”

Karan looked at him in surprise. “Are you alright?”

“Not really.”

Karan brushed back Shion’s bangs and gave him a concerned look. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“I just don’t feel well right now.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

Shion shook his head.

Karan sighed. “Alright. Well, let me know if you need anything.” She ran her fingers back through Shion’s hair and stood on her tiptoes to press a light kiss to his forehead. “I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready.”

“Okay.”

Nezumi and Karan watched as only a moment later Shion had disappeared into his room. It felt unusually quiet once the door quietly snapped shut.

“…I’m going to make some tea. Would you like any, Nezumi?”

“Sure.”

Karan smiled softly and walked out of the kitchen to finish taking off her coat and scarf. A few seconds later, she came back in and headed over to the stove. She turned on the small back burner with a water kettle on it and took out two mugs from a cabinet.

“What kind of tea would you like? We’ve got a few different options. Let’s see…”

“Whatever you’re having is fine.”

“Oh. Alright, then.” She took out a small box and set it by the mugs before sitting down at the table with a small sigh, then noted the plate on the tabletop. “Oh, good, Shion gave you some of the ginger cookies.”

“Mm-hm. They’re excellent.”

Karan smiled. “I’m glad you like them. Shion’s the one that did all the work, though. I only told him what to do.”

Nezumi hesitated for a moment. “…Is it just me or does he seem a little…  _off_  today?”

“Oh, no. He’s just like this sometimes.” The smile left her face and she was quiet for a brief moment before continuing. “I worry about him so much. I never really know what’s going on. He’s never lied to me or hidden anything, so I don’t think he would be  _now_ …” Her gaze absently wandered towards Shion’s bedroom door and she frowned slightly. “I just want to keep home as a comfortable place for him. Aside from a few behavioral issues like the cursing, I let him do really whatever he wants. I’m sure that doesn’t work for most parents, but Shion’s never once abused that freedom.” Karan’s got lost in her thoughts momentarily. “…He really is a very sweet and kind person. And I know the world can be very unfair, but I still can’t quite wrap my brain around how cruel people can be.”

Nezumi sat in silence as he waited for Karan to continue on with her sudden change in topic.

She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, but returned to their conversation with another quiet sigh. “I remember the first time Shion asked if he could stop going to school. He’d just turned seven. He actually didn’t come home right away and I panicked until I found him sitting by the front door. I thought maybe he’d forgotten his key or that he thought he was locked out, but when I asked, he said he didn’t want to come inside because he wanted to be alone.” Karan shook her head. “I know that seems normal now, but he was nothing like that when he was younger. He was cheerful and  _never_  wanted to be alone. It wasn’t that he wanted to talk or get attention. He just liked being in the same room as me, which I was certainly fine with. It was always nice having him nearby. He’d read books or draw pictures while I did things around the house. He was content doing his own thing, I enjoyed all the time I got with him despite my work hours, and I never had to worry about him. He’d even cuddle up in bed with me at night. So having him tell me he wanted to be alone was something that had never happened before. I didn’t know what else to do, so I let him shut himself in his room for a while.” Her gaze wandered back over to Shion’s closed bedroom door. “Even if it was hard to hear, I knew he was crying. But it didn’t sound like anything I’d heard from him before. Those weren’t tears from getting hurt or feeling sick. They were tears of hopelessness. A child should never have to cry out of misery.” Karan looked down with a small, bitter frown. “And when he did finally talk to me, he only asked if he could stay home from school for the rest of the year. He wouldn’t tell me what had made him not want to go to school anymore, but it was obvious there were people there that hurt him in ways that couldn’t be seen.” She blinked several times as if she might cry, but remained composed. “I just don’t understand how anyone could have been so cruel to a child like him. I know he stood out, but he’d never done anything to deserve any negative attention.”

Nezumi shifted slightly in his seat as he listened to Karan lay out her worries in the open. He felt a little bad, though he wasn’t sure if it was for Karan or Shion.

_Hm, I bet that’s all stuff Shion doesn’t want me to know. Too late now._

Nezumi shrugged slightly. “I’m honestly not surprised he’s had so much trouble with other students. Kids are really mean to each other. They just use the fact that he stands out as an excuse to pick on him. It’s not a matter of what kind of person he is. As awful as that is, it’s true. It’s hard to get through school without getting that kind of treatment at some point. And I’m sure it’s only gotten worse since he started high school. Students get meaner and teachers care less.”

The kettle on the stove began to whistle, cutting off anything else Nezumi was about to say. Karan hastily got up and prepared their tea. After she finished, she placed a steaming mug in front of Nezumi and sat down with her own in hand.

She sighed and picked up their conversation again. “Well, I can’t say that makes me feel any better hearing any of that.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to phrase it so bluntly.” Nezumi moved his mug a few inches closer and turned it around. “But he’s graduating after this semester, right? So it’s not so bad. …How old is Shion, anyway?”

“He turned sixteen last September.”

“Sort of a young age to graduate, huh?”

Karan smiled to herself. “He skipped eighth grade. Honestly, he could have skipped another grade or two in elementary school, but his teachers insisted on keeping him in the same class based on what they thought were underdeveloped social skills. But really, he’s more than smart enough to have graduated already.”

Nezumi nodded and frowned thoughtfully. “I’d believe it.” After a second, he let out a quiet laugh. “Honestly, I feel like an idiot doing homework with him. Shion might be younger than me, but he’s better at teaching my course material than my own teachers are, even if he hasn’t taken the class himself. He’s been helping me with my French class, you know.”

“French?” Karan’s eyebrows knit and she looked at Nezumi. “I don’t remember him ever taking French.”

Nezumi smiled. “He hasn’t. He’s just learning to get me through French II.”

Karan sighed and smiled in return. “I should have expected that much, I suppose.”

“Though he should be happy to know I’m not even taking French at all anymore. I’ve been placed in an art class, so I won’t need any help with that at all. But you know, I’m all caught up in my other classes thanks to Shion.”

“I’m so happy to hear he’s been helping you out so much.” Karan took a small sip of her tea. “As disagreeable as he might seem at times, he’s always willing to help. Just last night I asked him if he could babysit for one of my coworkers and he agreed to it without even a second of hesitation.”

Nezumi raised his eyebrows. “Babysitting?”

“That’s right.”

_Shion babysitting? That doesn’t sound right._

“So does he do that very often?”

Karan shook her head. “No, he’s never babysat before.”

Nezumi nodded slightly. “Mm-hm…”

_This already seems like a catastrophe in the making._

“But I’m sure he’ll be just fine. I can’t imagine he’d have any trouble with watching children.”

“Are you saying he doesn’t have any experience with kids?”

Karan lightly waved a hand dismissively. “I have no doubt he’ll do a good job.”

_That’s great you have so much faith in your son, but do you really not see how much of a bad idea this is?!_

Nezumi looked down and frowned as he thought.

_It has to be completely immoral to just stand back and watch this train wreck. No experience? More pissy than usual? By himself? Even someone like me can’t let this happen so easily. Everyone’s totally fucked with the way it’s heading._

He put his light smile back on and looked up again. “I’ll just have to trust your judgment, then. So when is the job?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Mm-hm. So he won’t be home then?”

Karan shook her head. “He’ll be here. The kids are being dropped off here for the day.” She took a sip of her tea, clearly oblivious that Nezumi was prying for information for any particular reason.

_And more than one kid at that…_

“Well, I’d like to visit again tomorrow since I didn’t really get to talk to Shion for long at all today. If that’s alright,” he quickly added.

She smiled warmly. “Of course it’s alright for you to visit! You’re welcome here anytime, Nezumi. Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow? Shion will be done babysitting by then.”

“What about morning? If it’s later in the morning, maybe I could visit before then instead.”

Karan shook her head again. “The kids should be here at ten. You wouldn’t have much time at all if any to spend with Shion.”

Nezumi gave a small nod. “Mm, alright. I’ll come by for dinner tomorrow, then.”

Karan smiled even more. “Wonderful. It’s always nice to have you here.”


	14. Chapter 14

_Knock, knock._

Shion scrambled to get the rest of his clothes on and get to the door. The second he began opening the door, a rush of apologies tumbled from his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were getting here at ten so I—”

He froze where he was mid-sentence and stared. Rather than the two children he was expecting, there stood Nezumi, wearing an amused smile.

“Good morning, Shion.”

“What—” A drop of water fell from Shion’s damp hair and onto his face, making him blink and shake his head abruptly. He pushed back his bangs and tried again. “What are you doing here?”

Nezumi shrugged. “Just bored.”

“Bored?! Nezumi, I’ve got two kids I’m supposed to keep entertained for the day. I don’t think I can keep you entertained, too.”

“Anything’s better than being around my dear brother, really. I’m sure you’ll be much more enjoyable company.”

Shion made a small sound of frustration. “I mean that I  _can’t_  have you here right now. I have to babysit today.”

Nezumi feigned mild surprise. “Oh, babysitting? Why don’t I just stay and help?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got this under control. So you should go home.”

Shion tried to close the door, only to have Nezumi keep it open with his foot.

“See, I’m pretty sure you  _don’t_  have this under control.”

“What the hell’s  _that_  supposed to mean?!”

Nezumi crossed his arms, still propping the door open. “It means I’m ninety-nine percent sure that you’re gonna fuck up today.”

“W-Well, I’m one percent—” Shion struggled to find the words to finish his sentence, “Um—”

Nezumi snorted out a laugh. “Just stop trying, Shion. You’re making a complete ass of yourself right now.”

Shion stopped talking, but didn’t move from his spot.

Nezumi tilted his head slightly and frowned. “So why don’t you just accept my generosity and fucking let me inside?”

Shion glared up at the other, then let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. Just let me finish getting dressed.”

“You look dressed to me.”

Shion gave an agitated glare and sighed. “No, I mean—” he waved a hand in front of his own face, “—this. I’m not done getting dressed.”

Nezumi shrugged. “I think it looks fine like that.”

“I don’t  _care_  if you think it looks fine. It  _doesn’t_  and I’m not about to scare the hell out of these kids anymore than I have to. I’m honestly expecting to make one of them cry with the red eyes alone.”

Before Nezumi could respond, Shion shut himself in his room, closing the door with a little more force than necessary. When he returned properly dried off and dressed, he found Nezumi sitting patiently at the kitchen table, looking quite at home where he was.

“So, is it just me or are you even more pissy than usual this morning?”

Shion sighed quietly. “Not pissy. Just tired.”

“Didn’t sleep well?”

He shook his head. “No. Different kind of tired.” His eyes turned downcast and he leaned against the kitchen doorway.

“…Mm-hm.”

A small stretch of silence passed between them as Shion neglected to respond.

Nezumi placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward, gaze set on the other. “Don’t worry. Today won’t be bad. You’ve got me here to help out.”

“I wasn’t worried about it in the first place.”

“Okay, then continue to not worry.”

“Will do.”

“…Shion, are you  _sure_  you’re not still mad at me?”

“It’s not that. I—”

A knock at the door interrupted Shion and cut their conversation short. He immediately left the kitchen to answer. Holding his breath, Shion opened the door and smiled. Standing there this time were the people he was actually expecting.

“Good morning!” he greeted.

A young woman smiled back at him, but the two children with her only stared. She came inside once Shion stepped back and gently shut the door behind them.

“Morning, Shion! How are you this morning?”

He nodded once. “I’m well. So this is Karan and Rico?”

She nodded in return. “Mm-hm. They shouldn’t be any trouble, don’t worry.” She knelt down and began taking off the little girl’s coat. “They don’t have any allergies or anything like that to worry about. They had breakfast, so they shouldn’t need anything until lunchtime. If they get hungry, they can have a snack, though.”

“Okay.”

The young woman worked on unzipping the little boy’s winter coat as she continued on. “If you need to get ahold of me, just call the bakery. I’m sure your mother gave you that number already.”

“That’s right.”

With a hand on each of the children’s shoulder, she spoke to the two with a more stern tone. “Alright, you two. You need to be good for Shion today. If he asks you to do something, you need to do it. He’s the adult in charge.”

Neither Karan nor Rico said anything in return.

“Understand?”

At that, they nodded.

“Alright, I’ll see you when I get home. Daddy’s picking you up when he’s done with work. I love you both.” The young woman placed quick kisses on the children’s cheeks before standing up again and hanging up their coats.

Shion watched her rather than making eye contact with the two pairs of eyes firmly set on him.

“Alright, Shion, is there anything else you need to know? Your mom says you’ll be just fine, so I’m not worried.”

“Um…”

“Well, if you think of something, you know where I am.”

Shion glanced towards the kitchen where Nezumi sat out of sight.

“Karan, Rico, be good! Bye-bye!”

A heavy silence filled the room after the front shut again. The two children stared uneasily up at Shion.

He swallowed hard and attempted a smile. “U-Um. Hi.”

“He’s not actually scary, you know.”

All three turned their heads towards the kitchen doorway where Nezumi’s voice had come from. After a moment, he stepped out into view and leaned against the doorframe.

“Hi, I’m Nezumi, Shion’s friend. I was going to introduce myself while your mama was here, but she left before I could.”

The little girl spoke up. “Why are you here?”

Nezumi crossed his arms and smirked. “Because Shion doesn’t have any brothers or sisters, so he probably doesn’t even know any fun games to play.”

Shion stared over at him. “Wait, you—? Oh, you said you have a brother earlier.”

Nezumi’s smile twitched. “Sure.” He immediately turned his attention to the two children again. “So, what kind of stuff do you like to play? It’s too bad it’s too cold to play outside. How about we play pretend?”

Karan’s face lit up. “I wanna play ‘house!’ I’m the mommy! Rico, you’re the daddy!”

Rico didn’t look quite as enthusiastic, but went along with his sister when she bounded into the living room going on about her rules for their game.

“Hm, that was pretty easy,” Nezumi commented.

“That’s really it?” Shion frowned slightly and looked over towards the living room. “I thought this would be a little different.”

Nezumi shrugged and gave a smile. “Those two seem to be quick to entertain themselves as far as I can tell.”

Shion nodded in return.

Their attention was quickly grabbed by the conversation held in the next room.

“Sometimes I don’t know why I’m even with you!”

“Maybe I should just leave!”

“Sure, that’ll solve a whole lot!”

Nezumi and Shion both stared at Karan and Rico as they reenacted a scene that was clearly frequent in their home. The two children carried on the argument but didn’t actually seem angry. It was unnerving to watch regardless.

Nezumi walked over and knelt down by the two, frowning slightly. “Hey, what’re you guys doing?”

“We’re being mommy and daddy!” Karan replied.

“U-Um—” Shion joined Nezumi by his side, glancing between the two children. “Actually, mommies and daddies are supposed to be  _nice_  to each other.”

“They are?” Rico looked up at Shion in confusion. “Then what do they do?”

“Well… They’re kind to each other, help each other when they need it, say good things to each other. And they love each other. That’s a  _very_  important part.”

The two children only continued to look confused.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Karan said. “Can you show us?”

“Er, I guess so?”

“Shion’s the daddy, I’m the mommy, and Rico’s the baby!” She exclaimed.

Nezumi scoffed. “Really, now. I think I’d be much more reliable as the breadwinning husband than him.”

Shion shot him a dirty look. “Okay, then Nezumi can be daddy.”

“Then what’s Shion?” Rico piped in.

Nezumi smirked. “Shion’s mommy.”

“But  _I_  was mommy!”

“It’s good to take turns. Besides, how do you expect to learn by example if you  _are_  the example?”

Karan let out a small huff, but didn’t say anything more.

“Trust us, Karan. We’re experts.”

Shion looked at Nezumi. “Experts?”

“Yes. Experts.” Nezumi stood up. “So, tell us what your mommy and daddy usually do every day.”

“Hmm. Oh!” Karan pointed up at Nezumi. “First daddy gets up really early. Mommy usually wakes up, too, unless they fight the night before.”

“It’s a good thing mommy and I had a  _great_  night together. We’re doing better than ever.” Nezumi wrapped an arm around Shion’s waist and pulled him to stand closer at his side.

“Then mommy makes breakfast!”

“So, what’s for breakfast, sweetheart?” Nezumi glanced over Shion, who looked far from comfortable being so close.

“Um— What do you two want for breakfast?” he asked Karan and Rico.

“Pancakes!”

“Waffles!”

“Ice cream!”

“Cookies!”

Shion raised his palm to shush them. “Let’s stick with pancakes.”

Rico’s eyes widened. “Are we really gonna eat pancakes?!”

“That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yeah!”

The two children followed Shion into the kitchen, practically bouncing with excitement. Shion started getting out the ingredients when Karan tugged at his sleeve.

“Huh?”

“Mommy wears an apron when she cooks!”

“…Right, then.”

Shion took his mother’s apron from its usual spot hanging on the pantry door and put it on. He struggled for a moment trying to tie it behind his back.

“Here, sweetheart, let me get that for you.” Nezumi stepped behind him and took ahold of the ties himself, making them into a tidy bow. “There. Now how about getting to work on those pancakes?” His fingers lightly ran along Shion’s waist.

Shion tensed up and grit his teeth. “Nezumi, I am gonna  _ki—_ ”

“Kiss me? I don’t think we should be doing those things so much in front of our kids.”

Shion whipped around and stepped back, making himself trip slightly. He caught himself on the counter behind him and gave Nezumi a nasty glare. The deep blush on Shion’s face made it far from threatening.

“Careful! You don’t want to hurt the baby!”

“The  _what?!”_

Nezumi crossed his arms and smirked. “The baby. You just told me the good news last night and we couldn’t be happier.”

“I did, did I?” Shion said darkly.

“Mm-hm.”

“So…” Shion took a step away from the counter and spoke quietly so only Nezumi could hear. “You’re really sure it’s yours?”

“Of course. We’ve been faithful to each other even after all these years.”

“How long have we been married?”

“Yesterday was our sixth anniversary.”

A small, mischievous smile crossed Shion’s face and he leaned back against the counter again. “That’s sweet you remembered our anniversary, but do you remember when my birthday is?”

Nezumi blinked and stopped smiling. “Um. May twenty-third.”

Shion lowered his head and covered his face with his hands. He let out an exaggerated cry of despair.

Karan hugged Shion’s leg and Rico looked up at Nezumi with a very concerned expression.

“Why is mommy crying?”

“He forgot my  _birthday!”_  Shion answered woefully.

Despite the bad acting, Rico gasped and looked from Shion back to Nezumi.

Nezumi frowned. “Mommy’s just really emotional because of the baby. And it’s hard to remember those little details on an empty stomach.” He turned his attention to Shion again. “You should start on breakfast so I don’t make anymore mistakes in my starved delirium.”

Shion motioned a hand towards himself and raised his eyebrows. “ _Little_  details? My birthday,  _the day I was born,_  is just a little detail to you?”

“Well, do you remember  _my_  birthday?”

Shion crossed his arms and turned his head to avert his eyes from Nezumi. “ _You’re_  the one who insists that we don’t celebrate your birthday each year.”

“I—” Nezumi hesitated, glanced down at Karan and Rico, and sighed. “Alright, I’ll admit, I can’t remember your birthday. I’m sorry. If you remind me, I’ll make sure not to forget it again.”

“September seventh.”

“I’ll make it your best birthday yet.”

Shion looked just as displeased. “I’m holding you to that, you know.”

Nezumi subtly motioned with a nod towards the two children who were watching and listening intently. “But I think for now, it’s best that you try to forgive me for my mistake and we move on from here, don’t you think?”

Shion caught the hint. “Right. I’m sorry for overreacting to something so minor. And I forgive you for forgetting my birthday.”

“So can we just kiss and make-up?”

“I think just making-up would be—”

Shion was cut off when Nezumi’s fingers slid up along his jaw and gently lifted his chin. In an instant, the space between them vanished and Shion felt pressure on his lips. It was over just as quickly as it had started, but Shion felt as though he’d been holding his breath for minutes. When Nezumi pulled back again, Shion realized it had been Nezumi’s thumb pressing against his lips, not an actual kiss at all. He stared wide-eyed.

Nezumi smirked in return. “Isn’t that better?”

Shion only stared back in shock.

“Yay! Mommy and daddy are happy again!”

“Yeah, that’s right. We’re happy again.” Nezumi’s fingers gently tucked some of Shion’s hair behind his ear and lingered on his cheek where his scar was hidden under a bandage.

“So can we make pancakes now?” Karan asked.

After managing to get himself together, Shion made a face and lightly swatted away Nezumi’s hand. “Yep, I’m getting right to it.”


	15. Chapter 15

_The gentle fingers running through his hair left him in a tranquil state despite having been running around only minutes before. But now, he was completely entranced by her soothing touch and soft voice._

_“I’m almost done, my little nezumi.”_

_He opened his eyes and almost looked up at his mother, but remembered to stay still. “Mama?”_

_The hands in his hair paused. “Yes?”_

_“Why am I ‘nezumi?’”_

_“Do you know what that word means?”_

_“Mm-nn.”_

_The hands continued again, working his hair into place. “It means ‘mouse.’ Ever since you could walk, you’ve been sneaking around just like a mouse. One day, grandma couldn’t find you and when you wouldn’t come out from wherever you’d been hiding, she got frustrated and called you a tricky little nezumi since she couldn’t remember the other word for mouse. And with how many times you snuck off or hid or got into places we didn’t think you could just like a little mouse would, the name stuck.”_

_He grinned smugly and giggled, even more so when his ear was lightly tugged._

_“You like being difficult, don’t you?”_

_“Maybe…” He fidgeted and swung his legs back and forth over the edge of the chair he was seated in._

_The voice overhead laughed softly. “And that’s why you’re our little nezumi.”_

_“But why not my real name?”_

_“‘Nezumi’ fits you better right now.”_

_He looked up when he no longer felt the fingers in his hair and pouted._

_She looked down at him with a warm smile. “Don’t worry, you’ll grow into your real name. And soon, you won’t even be our ‘little’ nezumi since there will be someone even littler than you.”_

_He pulled his legs up onto the chair and scooted himself around to face her. He frowned and stared at her belly that seemed to get bigger every day before looking up at her face. “How is it in your tummy? You didn’t eat it.”_

_She laughed a little louder and smiled wider. “I’ll tell you when you grow into your real name.”_

_He frowned even more at his mother’s round belly, then looked back up at her. “…Okay, I’m grown up now. So now you have to tell me why someone littler than me is in your tummy.”_

_“My little nezumi, you don’t get to decide when you’re grown up. It just happens. And when it does, you’ll know.” Her hand lightly patted his head. “Your hair is done now if you’d like to go play again.”_

_He patted his own hands on his hair. “Is it pretty?”_

_“Of course it is. Your hair’s always pretty. It’s much too pretty to cut shorter.”_

_“I don’t want my hair short like papa’s hair is.”_

_“And it doesn’t have to be. I’ll keep putting your hair up for you as long as you’d like.”_

_“Okay. Do it forever.”_

_She laughed again. “Alright, if that’s what you want. Though you might change your mind when you can do it better than I can.”_

_He shook his head and put his hands on his hair again. “Nope! I wanna be pretty like you!”_

_“You already are, my little nezumi.”_

_“Nuh-uh! I don’t look like you. My face is a circle and my eyes aren’t dark.”_

_“Your eyes are much prettier than mine will ever be.”_

_He pouted. “No.”_

_She carefully knelt down in front of him and lifted his chin just a bit so their eyes met. “Do you know why eyes are so special?”_

_He shook his head._

_“You can see what a person is like on the inside.” She nodded once. “What do you see in my eyes? How do you feel when you look at them?”_

_“Ummmm…” He tilted his head and studied her face. “…I feel happy and warm inside. Yeah.”_

_“I see in your eyes…” She smiled as her dark eyes gazed into his gray ones. “Hm, they’re very similar to papa’s eyes, and he’s a very beautiful person inside. That’s why I love him so much. But still, there is definitely something different.”_

_“What’s different?”_

_“Your eyes are brighter. Not in color, but how they shine in the light. Even with only the tiniest bit of light, they stand out.”_

_“But what is that inside?”_

_Gentle fingers brushed over his cheek. “It means you have so much life inside you that it shows every time you open your eyes.”_

_“What does that mean?”_

_Her gaze softened even more. “It’s hard to explain now, but you’ll see what it means to have life inside you as you grow up. You’ll meet people who have very little life in them and you’ll meet people who have just as much life that shines through like you do. That’s just something you have to see for yourself. My words can’t make you understand it.”_

_He remained quiet as he thought over his mother’s explanation, but then smiled brightly. “Can we play a game now?”_

_“Sure. What would you like to play?”_

_He scooted to the edge of the chair and hopped down. “Okay, I’m sailing across the ocean and you’re the queen of the sea, so you make the weather change. But you can’t be nice! That’s boring.”_

_She laughed and sat down in the chair with a small sigh. “Alright, I’ll be moody today. I’m making the wind blow, so the waves are very high.” She held out her hand with her palm up in front of her and blew towards him._

_“Oh, no! The waves are too high and it’s too hard to sail! But I’m in the middle of the ocean! What do I do?!” He let out a shriek and threw himself down onto the floor._

_“Well, if you can make a moody sea queen happy, I’m sure the weather will get better.”_

_He rolled onto his back and looked at her upside-down with his hands raised overhead. “How do I make you happy, sea queen?!”_

_“Hmm…” She tapped a finger to her lips as she thought. “I’m very upset because I’ll never see a forest. To make me happy, I need three things from the forest. Something from the sky, something from the water, and something from the earth.”_

_“Okay!” He hopped up back onto his feet and darted out of the room. About a minute later, he rushed back with a few things in hand._

_“Back already? Alright, what do you have for me?” She held out her hand towards him._

_He then put several smooth, rounded pieces of glass from the collection he had in a jar in his room. “These are shiny rocks from the stream that goes through the forest. And this is dirt.” He handed over a small container of cinnamon._

_“This… goes on the top shelf above the stove.” She gave him a questioning look._

_“I’m a bird!”_

_“Alright… So what did you bring from the sky for me?”_

_He raised his arms. “Mama, I just said I’m a bird! I fly in the sky!”_

_She laughed softly. “Oh, right. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice that before.”_

_He lowered his arms again. “Actually my hands were just too full to carry anymore.”_

_“That’s fine. I like my gifts. I’m happy now, so the weather is nice for sailing again.”_

_“Yay!”_

_“But…” She glanced over the cinnamon in her hand. “How did you get this?”_

_He didn’t answer, but grinned wide and giggled with his arms spread wide like wings. The chastising look he received only made him laugh louder._

_She sighed and shook her head. “You’ll end up getting really hurt if you keep doing things like that.”_

_The smile left his face and he put his arms back down. “But I can do it!”_

_“I know you can, but it makes me worry.” She held out her hands._

_He stepped closer and put his small hands on her palms. “But I can do it…”_

_Her fingers closed firmly around his hands in a warm hold. “I know, but I love you very much and I never want to see you get hurt.”_

_He twisted around and wriggled himself under her arms to lean against her side. “…Mama, why do you love me?”_

_The arms around him squeezed tight for a second. “Because you are a very, very precious person to me. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Everything about you makes me smile.”_

_“Okay…”_

_One of the hands let go of his and gently rested on his back, spreading warmth through the rest of his body. “Remember, loving other people is better than anything else in the world. If a person makes you really happy, then you love them. I’m a very happy person because I have both you and papa to love with all my heart.”_

_He stayed quiet for a moment, then pressed his forehead against her. “So that means I love you, too!”_

_The hands held him just a little closer. “Yes, it does.”_

A loud shriek startled Nezumi out of his thoughts. He immediately got up and left Shion’s room to check on what he was sure was a disaster waiting for him.

When he stepped into the living room, he saw something he hadn’t expected. Rather than one of the children hurt or in tears, both of them were laughing.

Karan bounced over to Shion and held up her hands. “My turn!”

Shion picked her up and stepped away from Rico, who was now rolling on the carpet and giggling. He adjusted his hold on her so her legs could wrap around his waist.

“Hang on!”

Shion quickly spun himself around, making Karan scream with delight. He set her down on her feet and stepped sideways a few feet to sit down on the carpet with a little extra help from gravity.

“Can you spin me again?” Rico asked excitedly.

Shion fell back onto the floor with a groan. “I don’t know if I can even get up again…”

Karan and Rico each took ahold of one of Shion’s hands and tried to pull him back up. They only managed to lift his arms off the floor. It was then that Karan noticed Nezumi in the doorway.

“Daddy! Help us!”

Nezumi stayed put and smirked down at Shion. “I’m still at work, remember?”

Karan huffed and tried to pull up Shion again. “Okay, you’re done with work and back home now!”

Nezumi feigned a yawn. “I don’t know if I have the energy to help. I’m so tired from work.”

Shion made a sound of disbelief, then laughed. “I bet it was a pretty rough day.”

“You have no idea. Honestly, you’re the lucky one. You get to stay home and play with the kids all day.”

“And do the dishes,” Shion added.

“I would’ve been late for work if I’d stayed and helped.”

“Oh, right.  _Sure._  Because lounging around my room operates on a tight schedule.”

Nezumi crossed his arms and sighed. “Aren’t you even happy to see me? What about a ‘welcome home’ kiss?”

“ _Ugh._ ”

Nezumi gave a look of shocked hurt.

“…Okay,  _fine._ ” Shion shut his eyes tight and grimaced.

Nezumi smirked and knelt down beside the other. Instead of faking a kiss like he had earlier, Nezumi licked a finger and stuck it in Shion’s ear.

“ _FU—_ ”

Nezumi quickly clamped his other hand over Shion’s mouth before the rest of the word could come out. Karan and Rico burst into a fit of giggles. Shion swatted away Nezumi’s finger and vigorously rubbed his ear.

“Save those words for the bedroom, alright?” Nezumi smirked and uncovered the other’s mouth. “How’s the back?”

Shion glanced towards the laughing children and grinned back. “It’s worth the pain.”

“Hm. Guess you’re a better mama than I thought.”

“I’m not a  _mama_.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. Now let me help you up.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Honestly, I expected today to be an absolute catastrophe.”

Shion attempted to give Nezumi an unamused look as the other sat down next to him on the couch, though his expression managed to show the smile he was trying to hide. “And was it that bad?”

“Not at all.” Nezumi grinned towards the other side of the room and let his arm rest on the back of the couch behind Shion, gesturing vaguely with his other hand. “I figured you’d have a couple of brats on your hands who’d run all over you, and then one of them would get hurt or you’d lose your shit with them or something along those lines and all hell would break loose. But no, you were perfectly fine being ‘mommy Shion.’ I’m impressed.”

“I’m not a ‘mommy.’”

“You’re ‘mommy’ now and there’s no fighting it at this point. Those kids will never forget.” Nezumi glanced over at the other. “Think you’ll end up babysitting them again?”

“I hope so.” Shion smiled to himself. “I kinda always wanted a sibling. I mean, I know it’s not the same, but it’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to knowing what that’s like.”

Nezumi opened his mouth to speak for a second, but closed it again and remained silent.

“Well, maybe I’m wrong. I don’t really know, I guess,” Shion quickly added.

Nezumi shrugged slightly.

“You said you have a brother, didn’t you?”

Nezumi let out a weak laugh. “We don’t really get along like you’d expect brothers to.”

Shion’s expression fell. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about. I just don’t get along with him.”

“Why don’t you get along with him?” Shion asked cautiously.

“Because he’s absolute trash. That worthless piece of shit is a waste of space.”

Shion blinked a few times in surprise before finding anything to say. “…Oh. Alright, then.”

Nezumi almost laughed at Shion’s reaction.

“Well… Um. I hope I never have to talk to him?”

“You’ve probably had the misfortune of seeing him at school.”

“But you just moved here, didn’t you? So I probably haven’t.”

Nezumi shook his head. “He’s been here longer than I have.”

“But…” Shion started, but trailed off. “Alright. I’ll just take your word for it.”

Silence filled the living room when their conversation came to an end.

Shion sighed heavily and relaxed back into the couch. “It’s really quiet, isn’t it? I mean, it’s usually quiet here, but after having kids here all day, it seems extra quiet.”

“Not when you start talking about it being quiet.”

“Huh?”

“It’s the opposite of quiet when you run your mouth like that.”

“Oh. Whatever. Fuck you.” Shion leaned his head back, only to immediately sit up again when he felt Nezumi’s arm rather than the couch. “Sorry!”  


“Don’t flip out over it, dumb-ass. It’s fine.”

Shion blushed anyway and refused to sit back again.

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. “What, is human contact that embarrassing for you?”

“No! No. I just didn’t expect it.”

After a moment, Nezumi put his hand on Shion’s knee. Shion’s eyes went wide and he immediately jerked his knee away, but Nezumi’s hand held on firmly. Shion let out an involuntary yell in response.

“W-What was that?!” Shion managed to ask.

Nezumi stared back at him. “You’re ticklish, aren’t you?”

“Ticklish?”

Nezumi gave Shion’s knee another quick squeeze, receiving the same reaction again. Shion tried to hit away his hand.

“Haven’t you ever been tickled before?” Nezumi asked.

“Wh—  _No!”_

“Let me fix that for you, then.”

Shion tried to scramble away, but Nezumi was a step ahead of him. He moved his arm from behind Shion to wrap tightly around him.

“I can’t believe you’re, what, sixteen years old—” He went for Shion’s stomach and tickled relentlessly. “—and you’ve  _never_  been tickled!”

Shion squirmed and laughed hard.  _“No! Nonononono! Stop it!”_

It wasn’t until Shion nearly kneed him during his struggle that Nezumi finally stopped. They ended up in an uncomfortable position, Shion halfway off the couch with Nezumi’s hold keeping him from completely falling onto the floor.

“…Alright, I stopped. Now what?”

“Maybe let me go?”

“Okay.” And with that, Nezumi let him fall the rest of the way.

Shion didn’t even try to get back up and simply laid there, gasping for breath. “Wh… Tha… The  _fuck_ …”

“You’ve honestly never been tickled before now?”

Shion shook his head.

“Unbelievable.”

“Shion, honey! I’m home!”

Both Nezumi and Shion turned their attention to the sound of Karan’s voice.

“We’re in here!” Shion replied.

“‘We?’” Karan appeared at the doorway and peered in. “Oh! You’re here, Nezumi!” She looked between the two, her expression changing to slight confusion. “Shion, why are you on the floor?”

“He tickled me. It was horrible.”

Karan laughed. “What?”

Nezumi smiled pleasantly. “I found out he’s never been tickled before, so I decided to fix that.”

“Did I mention it was horrible?”

“Yes, honey, you did.”

Shion sat up, looking displeased. “Because, well, it was horrible.”

Karan bent down to place a kiss on his head. “I’m sure it was. Are you two hungry? I’ll get started on dinner.” Before heading to the kitchen, she gently ruffled Nezumi’s hair and gave him a warm smile.

“Do you need any help?” Nezumi asked.

She paused and looked back at him. “No, but thank you for offering. You can keep spending time with Shion.”

Once Karan was out of the room, Nezumi grinned down at Shion.

Shion narrowed his eyes up at the other. “…What’s that look for?”

“I really like your mom.”

“Why? Because she keeps feeding you?”

“No, because she’s completely unaffected by your sass. It’s hilarious. Well, the ‘feeding’ thing doesn’t hurt.”

Shion scoffed in return. “Hm. See if I keep inviting you over for dinner.”

“Hey, it was your mom who invited me over this time.”

“Okay. Whatever.”

They fell silent and Nezumi watched Shion as he seemed to lose focus and completely zone out.

“…So, what’s the great genius thinking about so intently?” he asked once Shion seemed to forget they were even in the same room.

“Huh?” Shion blinked a few times before looking up at Nezumi.

“You were totally gone for a minute.”

“Oh.”

“So,” Nezumi tried again, “what’s on your mind?”

“Still thinking about the ‘sibling’ thing. Even though I didn’t want to be ‘mommy’ today, it was still fun making up a story like that.”

Nezumi smiled to himself. “Sorry I wasn’t there for most of it.”

“I dunno, I guess I’m kind of sad I never got to have that growing up. And I’m a little too old to be playing pretend games anymore.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

Nezumi’s smile became a small smirk. “Are you  _really_  too old now?”

Shion hesitated, frowning down at the floor. “…I guess I don’t  _have_  to be…”

Nezumi didn’t say anything in return, but continued to smile.

“But I swear I’m not being ‘mommy’ again.”

“Aren’t you enjoying mommy and daddy’s alone time?”

“Wh— no!”

Nezumi crossed his arms. “What’s so bad about being around me?”

“No, it’s the ‘mommy and daddy’ thing! It’s even weirder without our kids here!”

“‘Our’ kids?”

Shion blinked up at Nezumi. “I said ‘the’ kids, didn’t I?”

“Nope.”

“O-Oh. Oops.”

Nezumi leaned closer a bit and smirked even more. “Watch out. I might just kiss you in front of your mom next.”

“Don’t you dare!” Shion blushed and scooted away an extra foot. “Besides, that wasn’t even an actual kiss! So don’t say that shit!”

“Shion?”

Shion froze when he heard his mother’s voice call him.

“Are you cursing in there?”

“No! Er, a word slipped but I’ll be careful!”

“…Alright. That’d better be the only time today.”

Shion let out a heavy sigh.

Nezumi watched him carefully and spoke after a long moment. “Hey, Shion.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll make sure to sing for you on Monday. I promise, alright?”

“What?” Shion looked up and his expression brightened for a second, but quickly became apprehensive. “Really?”

Nezumi smiled in return. “Really. Just don’t be so quick to run off if I’m a little late, okay?”

“Okay. Sure. I’ll wait.”

“Good.”


	17. Chapter 17

Sure enough, Monday afternoon, Nezumi showed up to the small practice room partway through last period.

Shion didn’t notice he’d joined them until the door shut with a quiet click. He looked up and opened his mouth to speak, but Inukashi beat him to it.

“Oh, hey! Your new boyfriend showed up!”

“He’s  _not—_ ”

Inukashi grinned mischievously. “He’s not?” His expression became a dramatically serious one and he spoke in a whiny tone. “Transfer guy’s pretty and anyone who argues is wrong!”

“That’s not even what I said, Inukashi! I said ‘anyone who says he’s not pretty is full of shit,’ okay?”

Nezumi smirked. “If you’re trying to imitate Shion, you’ve got it all wrong. It was probably more like this.” His eyes widened slightly and his mouth turned down in a small frown. In an instant, he turned from calm and confident to nervous and defensive. “Anyone who says he’s not pretty is full of shit!”

Inukashi raised his hands and applauded. “Perfect!”

Nezumi smiled and bowed.

“You guys are assholes.” Shion crossed his arms over his guitar and sighed. “And there’s not a whole lot of time left to do anything today. This is kind of pointless.”

“Then why don’t we use the stage after school?” Nezumi asked.

“I’m pretty sure drama club has the auditorium today,” Inukashi answered.

Nezumi smiled. “I get the feeling they might cancel. Let’s just hang around and see.”

After the final bell rang and the mass of students had left, the three loitered near the side entrance of the school’s auditorium.

Inukashi watched the members of the drama club one by one pass them and enter through the double doors skeptically, then looked up at Nezumi. “So, what exactly—”

Nezumi put a finger to his lips. “You’ll see.”

They listened in to catch snippets of the conversation going on inside.

“Did you try that switch?”

“What, did the power go out?”

“But there’s lights in the hall!”

“Maybe a fuse?”

Shion studied Nezumi, trying to read his rather empty expression while there seemed to be some kind of commotion within the auditorium. “Nezumi?”

Nezumi met Shion’s stare. “Hm?”

“Did you do something?”

He put his hands in his pockets and looked away, shrugging.

Soon, the students they’d watched enter minutes before all filed out of the same double doors, looking disgruntled. Once they were all gone, Nezumi peeked inside.

“Looks like it’s all ours. Get your shit.”

“But there’s no power in there, right? How’s that going to work?” Shion asked.

Nezumi shrugged again. “Maybe they just… forgot to plug everything back in. Y’know, in a place that’s locked up or something. I dunno.”

Shion gave him a suspicious look, but said nothing in return and followed after Inukashi to get their instruments.

While they got everything from the practice room out onto the stage, Nezumi seemed to have disappeared. Then, bit by bit, the auditorium began to light up until the whole stage was illuminated. Not long after, Nezumi appeared again.

“Nezumi, what  _did_  you do?” Shion asked.

“Too many questions. Shut up and tune your guitar.”

“It’s already in tune.”

Nezumi stepped closer, grinning slyly, and gave one of the pegs on Shion’s guitar a slight twist. “Now it’s not.”

“Wh— Hey!”

Shion quickly got to work on tuning the string again. As he played a few notes, he noticed they got louder and louder. It then occurred to him that he was hearing his guitar clearly despite not having actually plugged his guitar into anything yet. He looked down and saw that there was in fact a cable plugged into his guitar.

“When did this get here?”

“Play something!”

He looked up and tried to find where Nezumi’s voice had come from but couldn’t locate him anywhere. “What?”

“I said ‘play something!’”

“Where are you?”

“Dammit, just  _play_  something already!”

Shion let out a small sigh of frustration and began to play, but froze the moment the sound of the chord he played surrounded him.

“Nezumi, it’s too loud!”

“No, it’s not! Just play something!”

Shion hesitated and began again.

“More! I know you play better than that!”

With a small nod, Shion started up a new melody, one with a quiet sense of direction. He closed his eyes and let it build up and fill the auditorium. Despite playing alone, he could almost hear the rest of the song playing along in his head. The beat of the drums only he could hear felt stronger than even his own pulse and drove forward the notes of his guitar in a steady rhythm.

And then then the drums became real. His heart skipped a beat when the sound reached his ears. It only urged him to play out even more. It was better than any other time he’d made music with Inukashi.

_“To the ends of the earth, would you follow me?”_

Shion nearly lost track of what he was doing when a voice joined their powerful sound. He looked over to see Nezumi walking out from backstage with a microphone, singing along.

He only realized he was grinning when Nezumi smiled back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so happy. His happiness fueled his confidence enough to sing along in harmony, though it was drowned out by all of their sounds combined. Shion put every last bit of himself into his music, enjoying each second that his ears were filled with their sound until their song was done.

_“Woo!_ That was  _awesome!”_

Inukashi’s words barely registered in Shion’s brain. He stood there, completely speechless.

“Hey, Shion, you okay?”

After a moment, he looked over at Nezumi, who’d just spoken to him. “Yeah?”

“You look really stoned. Except the wrong part of your eyes is red.”

“What does… What?”

Nezumi shook his head. “Never mind. Want to play something else?”

Shion quickly nodded in response.

They spent the rest of their afternoon that way, taking turns exchanging song suggestions and playing them through with their makeshift ensemble, until someone came into the auditorium.

“Hey, sorry ‘bout this, but you kids need to get out. I gotta lock up the building.”

Shion couldn’t quite see who it was, but recognized it to be the voice of the school janitor.

Inukashi made an unpleasant sound and rolled his eyes. “Aww, dammit. Fine.”

“We’ll be out in five minutes!” Shion added.

The janitor gave a nod and left again.

“Aw, he’s actually nice.” Nezumi wore a small, odd grin. “Now I feel a little bad.”

Shion looked over at him. “Huh? Why?”

“Let’s just say I borrowed something from him and don’t plan on giving it back.”

“You stole something from him?!”

Nezumi scowled back at Shion. “Don’t say it like that. It makes it sound worse. It’s technically school property, anyway.”

“What’d you take?” Shion asked.

Nezumi sighed. “I’m not telling you right now. We’re done talking about it now, so shut up and put away your shit.”

Shion packed up his guitar and helped move Inukashi’s drum set back into their practice room while Nezumi put away the microphone and cables. They had the job done in a matter of minutes and regrouped by the entrance they’d come in from.

“Alright, see you assholes tomorrow maybe,” Inukashi said before pushing open one of the double doors and heading out.

“Can we do that again?” Shion asked eagerly.

Inukashi paused. “I guess.”

_“Yes!_ Nezumi, will you sing for us again?”

Nezumi shrugged slightly. “I had fun. Sure.”

“Awesome! This is  _great!”_

Inukashi shook his head and continued to walk off. “Ugh, you got him all excited doing this, transfer guy. Your responsibility now. I’m gettin’ outta here.”

“He can deal with himself. I’m heading home.”

The three of them headed out of the building, Shion talking seemingly nonstop about different songs they should play and bands the other two should listen to.

When they reached the end of the walkway leading to the school, Inukashi waved a hand dismissively at Shion’s rambling.

“Bye!”

With that, he glanced either way down the street and hurried across.

It took Shion a second to realize Inukashi was leaving them. “Huh? Oh! Bye!”

Nezumi turned left and headed down along the street. Shion stayed right beside him and continued talking from where he’d left off.

“Shion?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you coming home with me?”

“What?”

Nezumi stopped. “You go the other way to get home, don’t you?”

“Other way?” Shion blinked in confusion. He glanced around and gasped quietly. “Oh!”

“I mean, I  _do_  have some homework I haven’t gotten around to doing yet…”

“Then I’ll come home with you and do it for you. I don’t have anything else I need to be doing.”

“Fair enough.”

They continued to walk along the route back to Nezumi’s home. Once Shion ran out of things to talk about, they walked in silence. He only spoke up again when they reached the front door of Nezumi’s apartment building.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. Why?”

“You got quiet.”

Nezumi nearly laughed as he carefully turned his key in the lock. “I’ve  _been_  quiet. You were talking nonstop.”

“Oh,” Shion quietly replied. “Sorry.”

Nezumi pushed open the door and headed for the next one that led into his new home. “It’s fine. I’d say it’s annoying, but I’m pretty brain-dead after singing so much, so it’s not like I had much to say anyway.”

Shion followed him inside. “But we didn’t really play for that long, did we?”

Nezumi scoffed as he unlocked the second door and opened it. “Shion, we were at it for a couple of  _hours_.”

“Really?”

“At  _what_ , faggot?” another voice asked.

Shion glared over toward where he’d heard the voice come from. “Excuse me?!”

“Don’t worry, he’s talking to me.” Nezumi nudged Shion to step the rest of the way into the apartment and shut the door again. “I assure you, brother dearest, what we were doing is far less interesting than whatever engaging show it is you’re watching right now.” He walked towards the living room and peered inside to catch a glimpse of the television. “Ah, infomercials. Incredible.” Before their conversation could continue on any longer, he turned back and pushed Shion to walk ahead of him towards the basement stairs. “Come on, Shion. You remember where my room is.”

“Huh? Oh, right.”

They went down to Nezumi’s room and settled in, Shion sitting on the bed with a pile of homework and Nezumi in the chair at the desk with a folder.

Before starting on one of the assignments, Shion carefully watched the other for a moment. “Is your brother always like that?”

Nezumi shrugged and opened up the folder. “I guess.”

“Sorry. That must be shitty to deal with.”

“It sure is.”

Shion put his pencil on the paper, but paused. “What’re you working on now?”

Nezumi had already set to work and didn’t make eye contact. “Sketching out plans for art class.”

“Yeah? What’re you doing in that class?”

“Doing a series of paintings.”

“What’re you gonna paint?”

Nezumi sighed. “Holy hell, you ask a lot of questions…”

“Sorry. Just curious. I don’t know much about art.”

“Well, I don’t feel like explaining right now.”

Shion didn’t respond and simply started on the rest of Nezumi’s homework.

For a long while, neither spoke and the only sound in the room was the quiet scratching of pencils on paper and the occasional flip of a page.

“…Ugliness,” Nezumi stated.

“What?”

“I’m doing a series of paintings about ugliness.”

Shion let out a small laugh. “Hey, I could be one of your subjects.”

Nezumi stopped what he was doing and glared coldly back at Shion in silence.

“Er… It was a joke… Kind of…”

“You really think you’re ugly?”

“I…” Shion gave a nervous, weak laugh, “…I don’t think that. I  _know_  it.”

Nezumi put down his sketches and got up from his chair to stand in front of Shion and lean close. Shion stared right back, but leaned away slightly.

“‘Different’ doesn’t equate to ‘ugly,’ Shion. You should know that.”

Shion said nothing, only blinking back with the same expression as before.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Nezumi asked.

“I… don’t think so.”

Nezumi shook his head and stepped back. “I’m saying you’re not ugly. You’re actually pretty cute.” With that, he sat back down and picked up his pencil.

The room was quiet until the sound of a page being torn broke the silence. Nezumi gave Shion a questioning look.

Shion said nothing back and kept his head down.

“Shion?”

“Sorry, I ruined your homework,” he answered quietly. “Let me just copy it again.”

“You ‘ruined’ it? What’re you talking about?”

Shion quickly rubbed one of his eyes with his sleeve. “Just gimme a minute.”

“Shion, are you crying?”

Shion shook his head and covered his mouth, still looking down.

“Then are you gonna be sick? Because I don’t want you puking on my bed.”

Shion shook his head again. “N-No—” he managed to choke out.

“You  _are_  crying, aren’t you?”

After a moment, Shion wiped at his eyes again and nodded.

Nezumi crossed his arms and frowned. “Why? I don’t even know what I could’ve said to make you upset.”

“No, I’m—” Shion paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m really happy. I’ve never had anyone say anything nice about how I look.”

“Anyone? Really?”

Shion lifted his head a bit and gave Nezumi a teary smile. “Well, anyone besides my mom. She kind of has to say that shit to me since I’m her kid, so I don’t think that really counts.”

Nezumi leaned forward in his chair, frowning even more as he studied the other. “Seriously? Not one single person has ever said anything nice about your looks besides your own mother?”

“That’s right.”

“I’ve lost even more faith in the world.”

“Huh?”

Nezumi reached out to touch Shion’s hair, who in turn tilted his head to the side to avoid contact. When he couldn’t quite reach, Nezumi got up from his chair and reached further. Shion still tried to evade the other’s touch.

“Nezumi, what are you—”

“Just let me touch your hair, dammit!”

“Why?!”

Shion lost his balance from leaning away and fell the rest of the way onto the mattress. Not even a second later, Nezumi’s fingers were curled into his hair.

“Because it looks so fucking soft and I’ve wanted to touch it for nearly a week!”

After a moment, Shion burst into laughter. “Are you serious right now?!”

Nezumi leaned his weight on the bed and kept his hand firmly in place on Shion’s head. “I’m completely fucking serious right now.”

“So is it as soft as you thought?”

“Even softer.”

“That’s nice, I guess.”

Nezumi turned his head to get a better look at Shion’s face. “You’re not fighting it anymore?”

Shion’s laughter had calmed down, though he continued to smile. “Well, I imagine this is what it’s like when you pet a dog or a cat… I mean why they like being pet.”

“What the fuck? You’re so weird.”

“You’re the one petting me,” Shion pointed out.

Nezumi abruptly stopped and returned to his desk. “Shut up and do your homework, Shion.”

Shion sat up, still grinning. “It’s your homework, not mine.”

“Fuck. Fine. Shut up and do my homework.” Nezumi picked up his pencil and scowled down at his sketches. “God, you’re annoying as hell.”

“I like you, too.”

Nezumi shot a glare towards Shion. “Didn’t I just tell you to shut up?!”

Shion only smiled back.


	18. Chapter 18

_One day down, four to go._

Inukashi sighed in annoyance at the thought of a full week of school ahead. The whole thing was just a nuisance and a waste of time. He paused and lifted his head slightly.

“You there, Bunny?”

He received a wheezy bark in return and turned his head to look at the stout, little dog running towards him.

“Jeez, I still don’t understand why you don’t just wait at home like everyone else, especially when you got those short little legs. I’m just fine walking home by myself.”

He knelt down and rubbed the dog’s velvety ears. The dog in turn licked at Inukashi’s hand.

“Nah, I like having good company. Come on, girl, let’s go.”

They walked side by side, passing by convenience stores and outdated buildings. Cracks in the sidewalks grew more frequent along with boards in place of glass windowpanes. The area around them became much less welcoming, the kind of place mothers warned their children about, though neither seemed to be bothered by it.

When they came across a narrow street, they turned in and made their way up a set of concrete steps to an old door that had been painted a deep red color years ago. Inukashi took off his backpack, unzipped the outer pocket, and dug out a key. The dog patiently waited for him to unlock the door and let her in. The dog slipped inside once the door was opened.

“I bet you all’re hungry, huh?” Inukashi asked as he was greeted by a small mob of dogs.

They all wagged their tails and tried to nudge their way closer to him.

“Alright, just a second, ‘kay?”

Inukashi dropped his backpack on the worn sofa and went into the kitchen. He paused when he saw a small pile of letters on one of the chairs by the table. He picked them up and leafed through the stack.

He tore open one of the envelopes and pulled out the papers, glanced through them, and tossed everything back onto the table.

“Tch, about time this got here. I’ll cash that tomorrow,” he commented to himself. “Alright, dinner time!”

The dogs eagerly waited close by as Inukashi filled up several bowls of dog food on the counter. One by one, he set them down on the floor. The dogs swarmed around them and quickly ate up their meals.

One of the dogs paused and gave Inukashi a curious look.

He shrugged. “Nah, I ate enough lunch to last. Don’t worry ‘bout me.”

The dog went back to eating. Inukashi frowned slightly as he sat down and watched them all.

_There’s something that bothers me about that transfer guy… But what is it?_

He pulled up his feet onto the chair and sat cross-legged. An older dog left the group by the bowls to lie down next to him.

“You all done, Cushion?”

The old dog let out a sigh.

“M’kay.”

_Maybe it’s that he’s a little too sneaky to trust with anything. But he does seem to know what he’s doing. And he’s got Shion totally attached to him already. It’s barely even been a week._

He reached down and lightly scratched the old dog’s head as he thought.

_I wonder… Could we get somewhere with our shitty little band? I’m pretty sure we could all use a little extra money. Not that I care what those other two need. I sure as hell could use a little more._

“Whadya think, Cushion? Think a band could work out?”

The dog raised his head to look up at Inukashi.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you don’t actually know what a band is. Just runnin’ the idea by you.”

_Maybe I’ll work the idea into a conversation sometime. Shion’ll be all over that shit. It’ll take a little convincing to get transfer guy to do it, though, I bet. It’s worth a shot. Nothing to lose._

“Oh, hey, could you do me a favor, Cushion? I got an essay I’m supposed to write that I don’t wanna do. Can you chew up a page for me to turn in?”

The dog put his head back down and sighed again.


	19. Chapter 19

“ _Hey,_  Shawn!”

Shion sighed and shut his locker. Usually, he could get through a day without much harassment, but not today. He shot a glare up to the offender, only to notice the other student wasn’t alone. His stomach sank knowing he was up against two other students.

_Just when I thought things were looking up for me._

“My name’s not ‘Shawn.’”

“Oh, right! It’s  _She-_ on! Because you look like a girl, right?” the other asked in a mocking tone.

“I know I’m not exactly very masculine, but I really don’t look like a girl.” Shion retorted and slipped between the two, heading down the hall. To his dismay, the taunting voices remained beside him.

“How do you know? Have you ever  _actually_  seen a girl?”

Shion stared straight ahead, refusing to make eye contact. “Of course I have.”

“No, no, I mean seen a girl  _naked?”_

“You really expected me to know that’s what you meant the first time?”

“Hey, quit avoiding the question,  _She-_ on. Ever seen a girl naked?”

“No.”

“Why not, huh? Never had a girlfriend?”

Shion sighed and continued to glare ahead. “No.”

He felt the nudge of an elbow in his side.

“Why not? Don’t you like girls?”

“Not any girls at this school, anyway.”

“What? You just gotta look harder. There’s gotta be a girl here with low enough standards to let you fuck her.”

Shion took a steadying breath and didn’t reply.

“Don’t worry! We’ll help you!”

“Yeah! What about her, huh?”

Shion followed where the student’s finger was pointed. Not even a second later, Shion felt himself get shoved hard. He lost his balance and ran into a girl getting into her locker before he could catch himself.

_“Hey!”_

Shion staggered back a step and held his hands up apologetically, quickly shaking his head. “S-Sorry! I’m sorry! I swear, I didn’t mean to do that! Are you—”

“What is  _wrong_ with you?!”

Shion stepped back when the girl’s friend took a step towards him. “I-I didn’t—”

“Just leave her alone, jerk!”

“I-I—”

He was about to give one last apology and get away when he saw a slight movement from the girl he’d accidentally pushed. Her hand rubbed over her arm as though it hurt. His eyes widened slightly and he opened his mouth to ask if she was alright, only to be cut off by the girl’s friend before he could even begin.

“Oh, my  _god!_  You’re staring at her chest!”

“Wh-What?! No! I—”

“Are you gonna try  _groping_  her next?!”

“No! Why—”

_“Pervert!”_

Shion barely raised his arms in time to shield his face when a thick binder full of papers hit him hard enough to force him to take a step aside.

“Fuck!  _No!”_

“You’re  _disgusting!”_

Shion managed to get himself to a safer distance through the crowed hall before he could get hit again. He pressed a hand to the spot that hurt on his head and shut his eyes.

“Hey, you’re in the way.”

He opened his eyes again to see someone glaring at him. He muttered a quick apology and moved away from the lockers to find a different place to collect himself.

All Shion wanted to do anymore was sleep for a week alone in his room or just cry. It was already difficult not to cry with how frustrated and embarrassed he was on top of the throbbing pain in his head.

_I’ll just get out of here after next period’s test. Ten minutes and I’ll be out._

He made it to his next class thankfully without any other mishaps. Up until the bell rang, he kept his head down on his desk and focused on calming down enough to get through his class.

_Five more minutes._

The teacher went on about something for a minute before the tests were passed out and they were allowed to begin. Shion couldn’t even remember what subject he was being tested on, only knowing what answers to put down. The negative thoughts he usually could dismiss were making the rest of his mind disorganized. It took everything he had to keep quiet during class rather than just having a complete meltdown on the spot.

_Just a little longer…_

He rushed through his test in a few minutes, placed it on the front desk as the beginning of what would be a stack of completed tests, and headed straight for the door.

“Shion, even if you’re finished, you still have to stay here for the rest of the class period. Unless you have your hall pass signed.”

Shion quickly fished out his hall pass from his back pocket and handed it over. The teacher unfolded it, glanced over it once, and held it out for Shion to take back.

“There’s nothing signed for today on here.”

He almost couldn’t quite grab ahold of his pass with how much his hand was shaking. “I-I—”

There were a few quiet laughs from the other students. The sound alone was enough to make Shion’s stomach turn. He didn’t have the courage to look up to see who it had been.

“Shion, go sit back down.”

“I-I’m—” He struggled to find any excuse to use. “I’m gonna be sick.”

He thought he might actually get sick when he heard the quiet yet degrading laughter again from his classmates. Before the teacher could say anything else, Shion walked out of the classroom. The door didn’t quite shut behind him when he left, but he didn’t dare turn back to close it properly. After only a few steps away, he broke out into a sprint down the hall. The impact with the door when he hit it faster than it would open initially hurt, but he continued out the second set of doors just as quickly. He didn’t stop running until he was a block away from the school.

The cold air stung his throat as he caught his breath and made his already burning eyes only hurt more. Shion looked around while his thoughts raced through his head. Before he could make any kind of clear decision, his feet were taking him down the street until it turned from city blocks to a wide bridge.

_I feel sick. I just want to throw up until this feeling is gone._

He crossed his arms tight across his chest and headed up the walkway. He shivered from both the cold biting at his skin through his clothes and the fear growing in his chest.

_But it’s not just going to go away. It’s always there. It always has been and always will be. It’s a pointless fight. I might as well give up._

Shion slowed to a stop when he reached the midpoint of the bridge. He leaned on the barrier between the walkway and the edge and looked out at the skyline across the water. The idea that it might be the last time he saw it made him feel both queasy as well as disgustingly excited.

_Really, what if I do this? What if I actually do this?_

Once the walkway was void of any other pedestrians, Shion hoisted himself up onto the barrier and carefully lowered himself down to the outer edge of the bridge where it was no longer paved and instead was only the metal of the structure. His legs felt weak and his breath became shaky and shallow. When he didn’t find the internal push he needed to go through with the act immediately, he sat down and scooted forward until his feet dangled from the edge. His fingers gripped tightly to the metal beam beside him and he leaned forward to look down at the water that seemed to be miles below.

_If I just do it, I’ll never have to feel this way again. I’ll never have to feel anything at all. I’ll never have another day of school to suffer through, never have the eyes of strangers picking me apart, and I’ll never hurt again. If I can take the hurt this one last time, that’s all the more I’ll ever feel._

He made a face as if he’d tasted something horribly bitter and hugged his arms around his chest.

_Am I really going to die today? Will I have lived only sixteen years to see just a few glimpses of what happiness really is?_

Shion let out a shaky breath and felt hot tears slide down his face. He was at least grateful he’d been able to hold them back until he was alone for once.

_I don’t want to die yet. But if this is what life is going to be like forever, I can’t do it anymore. It’s too much. But I have to pick one. I can’t win either way._

He looked out at the skyline that had become even blurrier than usual with his tears clouding his vision.

_So what do I choose? Life or death?_


	20. Chapter 20

The moment Safu heard her classmates snickering cruelly about something, she looked up towards the front of the room where Shion stood. Even if it was only for a matter of seconds before he was out the door and out of sight, she could sense that he wasn’t okay.

“Shion!”

Her voice came out in an urgent whisper, though it was still loud enough to earn several stares. She ignored them all and quickly got up from her seat to reach Shion, but only one step outside the classroom, she could see him just running out of the building. Safu stopped in her place and hesitated.

“Safu?” the teacher questioned.

“He… just left.”

Quietly, Safu shut the door and returned to her seat.

The rest of the class period, she could only think of Shion and what could possibly be wrong. She normally didn’t talk to Shion since he always seemed to want to be left alone, but something seemed very wrong. Instead of keeping up an unapproachable appearance, he’d looked like he was barely holding himself together.

_But what should I do? I don’t know him very well, so I really don’t know where he’s gone or if I should actually be worried._

The restless anxiety in her chest told her she had every reason to be worried.

_So who do I tell?_

Safu desperately tried to think of anyone who Shion spent time around at school.

_Inukashi! I’ve seen those two talking a lot in the band hall!_

Once the bell rang to let out class, Safu rushed out of the room and down the hall. It then occurred to her that she had no idea where Inukashi would be. She glanced either way and found a piercing set of eyes that made her heart skip a beat.

_That’s the new transfer student! I’ve seen Shion around him! What’s his name again? Nezumi?_

“Nezumi!” she called over. Judging by the response from the student, she’d remembered his name correctly.

He walked over, wearing an unreadably blank expression. “Yeah?”

“I’m glad I caught you. You’re friends with Shion, right?”

“That’s right. Why?”

Safu took a steadying breath to keep calm and set her gaze firmly on Nezumi. “Shion ran out of class today. I don’t think he’s okay. Do you know where he’d have gone?”

Nezumi shrugged. “He’s probably in that practice room like usual.”

“No, I saw him run out of the building. I tried going after him but he was too fast. I don’t know where he would’ve gone, so I was looking for someone who might have an idea.”

Nezumi crossed his arms. “So why’d he run off?”

Safu shook her head. “I don’t know. I could just tell he was really upset.”

Nezumi frowned, but didn’t say anything in return.

The fact that he hadn’t given a simple answer suggesting something along the lines that perhaps he’d gone home only made the anxious feeling worse.

“You don’t think he’s going to do something bad, do you?”

Nezumi’s eyes widened ever so slightly and he opened his mouth, but paused.

“What if he hurts himself?! What if he’s putting his life in danger?!”

The empty expression was back on his face. “Nah, he doesn’t have the kind of guts it takes to just off himself on a whim like that. If he did, he’d have done it by now.”

Safu still wasn’t convinced. “Then where do you think he is?”

“A bridge.”

“What?!”

“A bridge. It’s the perfect setting for contemplating suicide. It’s got a feel of finality to it as well as a great view.” He looked directly at Safu. Despite the confidence in his words, there was still a hint of worry in Nezumi’s expression. “Any bridges nearby?”

“Y-Yes, there’s one several blocks east of here.”

“Hm, I don’t think I’ve gone that way before. You’ll have to lead the way.” Nezumi swept a hand out in a graceful gesture.

Safu looked from Nezumi’s hand to his eyes. “Right now?”

“When else? Or would you like to wait until school’s out to keep your school record clean?” He crossed his arms with an uncaring expression. “Now’s a good time to figure out your priorities.”

Safu didn’t say anything and instead headed towards the exit with a look of determination.

They didn’t speak the entire way to the bridge not too far off from the school. The few times Safu caught a glimpse of Nezumi’s face, he seemed strangely uncaring. It was unsettling at first, but she reasoned he was just the type to hide most of his emotions.

When they finally reached the bridge, Safu spotted exactly what she was looking for. She quickly pointed over for Nezumi to see.

“Nezumi, he’s over there! The other side!”

Nezumi easily got over the fence separating the walkway from the road and lifted Safu over as well when she began to attempt climbing over it as well. 

“Good thing you’re light, huh?”

Safu opened her mouth to reply once she was back on her feet, but he already had his attention elsewhere. Next thing she knew, Nezumi was quickly guiding her across the road in a brief break of traffic. He seemed to be a step ahead of her on everything they did, from holding her arm tight when she nearly tripped to hoisting her up over the next fence. She’d just gotten her balance back when Nezumi was getting himself over the barrier to the edge. It wasn’t that she was clumsy at all, but rather that he seemed to possess an unnatural amount of speed and grace.

Safu opened her mouth to say something, but at the same time Nezumi glanced back with a finger to his lips which then became a hand motioning her to stay put. She obediently stayed on the walkway side of the barrier and held her breath. It was terrifying just watching the scene in front of her. There was too much at risk. But there was nothing else she could do.

Shion seemed oblivious to the fact that he was no longer alone and remained hunched forward. Nezumi stood behind him with one foot against a beam close by for stability, then bent down and wrapped his arms around Shion’s waist. The sound of Shion’s panicked voice made Safu almost dizzy enough to faint. The second that would determine if the two boys would make it out of the situation unscathed or fall to their deaths lasted for far too long. She wanted to cry out to Shion, but she knew adding anything else to Nezumi’s carefully calculated actions could only be dangerous.

Thankfully, the two moved in the opposite direction of what she feared, away from the edge rather than over it. They weren’t safe yet, but the suffocating terror had left. Nezumi almost had Shion over the barrier, but the instant Safu saw there was some kind of struggle, a rush of adrenaline coursed through her. She stepped forward, wrapped her arms around Shion, and threw herself back with every last ounce of her bodyweight. Nezumi let go to allow the two fall back onto the walkway. Safu staggered back a step and fell down hard into a seated position with Shion still firmly in her hold. For the most part, his fall was cushioned by her and the sound he made at his impact with the ground was more out of surprise than pain. He tried to get up, but Safu held on as tight as ever.

Once Nezumi had climbed over the barrier again, he crossed his arms and put his foot on Shion’s stomach with just enough pressure to keep him pinned where he was. Nezumi leaned forward at bit to get a closer look at Shion.

“Ready to go home now, your majesty?”

Shion stared up at Nezumi with a look of disbelief. “Why would you do that?!” he choked out.

“Hm, maybe if you actually think for two seconds, you’ll figure it out.” Still keeping his foot in place, Nezumi sat some of his weight back on the barrier. “But that’s fine. I have two seconds to wait.”

Shion sniffled and stayed quiet for a moment before looking up at Safu. His red eyes stared into hers and she smiled in return.

“Hi, Shion.”

He sniffled again and wiped the edge of his shirt sleeve under an eye. “Hi, Safu,” he answered weakly.

Safu brushed back his bangs away from his eyes. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m—” Shion’s voice fought to get through a small sob. He covered most of the lower half of his face with the hand that held tight to the hem of his sleeve. “I’m d-doing pretty great today!”

It tore at her to see him this way. They might not have been close, but she still cared about him. The times they’d worked together in school and the conversations they’d had in class were enough to give him a special place in Safu’s heart.

“Shion?”

Shion looked up when Nezumi spoke to him.

“Promise you won’t run off or do anything stupid if I let you up? My leg’s cramping from not crushing your guts with my foot.”

“You might as well.”

Nezumi narrowed his eyes. “Might as well crush your guts?”

Shion nodded.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Shion replied quietly.

Nezumi looked at Safu with an unfittingly pleasant expression. “Thanks for helping me find him. I think I’ve got this under control, so if you want to go home or back to school or whatever, that’s perfectly fine.”

“No, I’m staying with him,” she stated.

“Why?” Shion asked.

Safu looked down at him. “Why? Because I care about you.”

Shion shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

He didn’t say anything to that.

“Why don’t you come over to my place? It’s cold out here and you don’t have your coat.”

“You don’t have your coat, either.”

“I know, and it’s freezing. Will you make things a little easier for both of us and come over?”

“I don’t know where you live.”

Nezumi sighed. “Okay, Shion. We get it. You are capable of being  _extremely_  difficult. Will you just listen to her and cooperate?”

“But—”

“You really think she’s going to make you lead the way there?”

Shion fell silent.

“Come on, idiot.” Nezumi took his foot off Shion’s stomach and leaned forward, grabbing ahold of one of Shion’s hands. “Let’s just go over to her place.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Shion, you haven’t said a word.”

The three of them sat together in the living room of Safu’s home, Shion and Safu side by side on the couch and Nezumi in the armchair across from them.

Shion shrugged, his eyes downcast, not looking at Safu when she spoke to him. “I haven’t felt like saying anything.”

“…Shion, listen to me for a minute.” Nezumi said.

He raised his head and met Nezumi’s gaze.

“I get it. The world is really shitty. But you know what? There are things in life that make it worth sticking through. Trust me on that.”

Shion looked back down and fidgeted slightly. “Guess I don’t know what those things are.”

“Music. People who care about you. Good stories. Sex. Anything that makes you feel alive.”

Shion let out a weak laugh.

Nezumi frowned. “What’s so funny about that?”

Shion shook his head. “The ‘sex’ thing.”

“Right, I figured you’re a virgin. Doesn’t mean you’ll be one forever, though. I can’t believe you were gonna off yourself before you even had a good shag.”

Shion sighed, but said nothing in return.

“Nezumi, I think that’s a sensitive subject for him,” Safu said.

“Not  _sensitive_ ,” Shion quietly countered, “I’m just sick of it. I don’t want to hear any more about sex than I already have to every day. I swear that’s all anyone ever talks about.”

Nezumi shrugged. “People are usually wired to think about it constantly. That’s just how it goes. And in high school, people don’t know how to shut up about it.”

“Are we done yet?” Shion asked.

“What’s the big deal, then?”

Shion sighed in agitation. “No one wants me around, okay?”

Nezumi crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “So Safu and I don’t count as people?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Uh, you kinda implied that when you said ‘no one.’ So is that why went to that bridge today, then? Because you think no one likes you?”

“No, it’s more than that. It’s everything.”

Nezumi sighed. “That’s pretty vague.”

“Shion, why exactly don’t you want to be alive anymore?” Safu asked.

“Well…” Shion began, hesitating. “I’m really sick of trying to get through things every day. It’s too much. I—” He paused and bit his lip. “I don’t know exactly how to explain it. I just feel like everything is impossible. Like I exist solely to be kicked around. Like my life is a fucking joke to everyone else. And I’m ready to be done with it all.”

“School isn’t forever, though,” she commented.

“It’s not just school. Graduation isn’t going to be a transition into a magical world of friendly people. There will be just as many assholes around to make my life hell.”

“But Nezumi’s right. There are things that make the struggle worthwhile. I always hear you playing your guitar at school. Doesn’t that make you enjoy life?”

“It makes me forget about the bullshit,” Shion said quietly.

“Even if that’s all you think you have, keep going. As long as you have something, it’s worth the effort of pushing through.”

“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” Nezumi asked rather abruptly.

“First door on the right,” Safu answered, pointing down the hall.

Nezumi gave a small nod and left the room.

They were quiet for a moment, then Shion spoke up. “I should probably head home soon. I mean, you probably don’t want to spend anymore time than you have to around me.”

“Not at all,” she said with a small smile.

“Huh?” Shion met Safu’s gaze.

“I like spending time with you.”

Shion’s surprise turned to annoyance. “Oh, right. Funny. I get it.”

Safu stopped smiling. “‘Get it?’ Shion, I wasn’t joking. I really do like being around you.”

“But that’s… not…” Shion frowned down at the floor. “Why? No one else likes me. I mean, I’m not even sure if Nezumi actually wants to be my friend.”

“I like being your friend.”

He looked up again and blinked at her a few times. “…Friend? We’re friends?”

Safu smiled warmly. “Mm-hm. At least I’d like to think so.”

Shion still looked stunned. “Wait, since when?”

“Well…” Safu thought for a moment. “When we were freshmen, we always paired up for projects in our classes we had together. I really liked working with you and enjoyed your company. I’d like to think that constitutes as being your friend.”

“You…” Shion narrowed his eyes and frowned. “You’re being serious?”

Safu nodded. “I’m being completely serious.”

“Oh…”

Shion stared at the floor in front of him in disbelief, and then a smile spread across his face. He lightly shook his head, quietly laughing.

“Did I say something funny?”

Shion shook his head again, more firmly this time. “No, it’s just…”

Safu leaned forward slightly in anticipation. “Just…?”

The smile on Shion’s face only grew more. “It’s just really nice to actually hear someone say that.” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Safu. “I mean, anyone else who’s been nice to me was doing it as a joke, so now I assume anyone being nice to me is faking it to later humiliate me or something.” His smile faded a bit as he hesitated. “You… You promise you’re being honest?”

Safu looked disturbed to hear Shion’s explanation. “People really…?” she started, but stopped and gave Shion a sympathetic but reassuring smile. “I promise you, Shion. I’m honest in saying that I consider you to be my friend and that I enjoy my time spent with you.”

Shion didn’t say anything, but his doubt was gone.

“And to be honest,” Safu continued, brightening considerably, “I actually always looked forward to doing projects with you! I usually prefer to do work on my own since most of the other students don’t want to put in the effort, but you always get everything done so quickly  _and_  I like being around you.”

“Why… Why would you ever like to be around me?” Shion was perplexed by Safu’s confession.

“Why? Because you’re fun to be around! You’re intelligent, interesting, and really witty. There have been times in our classes together that I’ve nearly laughed aloud at some of those comments you’d mutter to yourself during lectures! Actually, I  _have_  laughed aloud, but I’ve always managed to cover it up by acting like I’m coughing.”

“Wait, you weren’t really coughing all those times?”

Safu giggled. “Nope! But I’m glad it’s always been believable!”

“Jeez, you sure fooled me. I thought you just had upper respiratory problems. I mean, that would make sense since you’d cough a lot and you don’t play any wind instruments.” Shion smiled sheepishly. “I’m kind of embarrassed that I’m wrong.”

Safu laughed this time. “Don’t be! I’m just laughing over the fact that you actually thought that out! You’re so funny!”

“I wasn’t trying to be…”

Shion shrank back a bit in embarrassment, but the feeling quickly disappeared when he looked at Safu’s face. There was nothing condescending about her laughter and she appeared to be enjoying herself. He found himself laughing a bit as well.

“Looks like you didn’t even need me to cheer up his majesty.”

Shion and Safu looked over to see Nezumi settle down back in the armchair.

“Nezumi?” Safu asked.

“Yeah?”

“You consider Shion to be your friend, right?”

“That’s right.”

Safu grinned at Shion. “See? No reason to doubt it. Both Nezumi and I are your friends.”

Shion didn’t say anything, but couldn’t hide the bashful smile on his face.

“Well, isn’t this just heartwarmingly precious,” Nezumi commented. “Glad you’re doing better. It’d be a shame to send you home to your mother in such a bad mood.” He turned his attention to Safu. “Hey, do you play piano?”

“What? Oh, yes, I do. Why?”

“Just wondering since you’ve got a piano here.” Nezumi nodded towards the piano at the other side of the room.

“Yes, I’ve played since I was five.”

Shion’s eyes widened in curiosity. “Really? I thought you played cello.”

“I do.” Safu answered. “I haven’t played it for as long as I’ve played piano, but it feels more natural. Do you play anything other than guitar?”

Shion shook his head. “No, I’ve never tried.”

“Nezumi, do you play any instruments?”

Nezumi shrugged. “I can play the piano a little, but that’s just from teaching myself. I never learned how to read music, though.”

“Shion, can you read music?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Why don’t I teach both of you some basics?” Safu suggested.

Before either could answer, she got up from the couch and walked over to the piano. Shion and Nezumi followed and joined her, Shion sitting next to her on the bench and Nezumi standing beside her.

“Okay, so let’s start with a basic scale. You have seven letters to remember. A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. They repeat over and over up the whole keyboard.” She played a scale to demonstrate.

“But that didn’t sound right,” Shion said.

“You were expecting to hear a major scale, weren’t you? The A scale with only naturals, meaning only the white keys, is a natural minor scale.”

“‘Natural’ minor?”

“Right. There’s more than one kind of minor scale. But I’ll get to that in a minute. Let’s start with the C major scale.” Safu’s fingers easily danced up and down the keys as she played again. “It’s the only major scale that doesn’t have any accidentals, meaning no black keys. It’s the easiest one to start with, so that’s what we’ll work with. Nezumi, what’s this note?” She pressed a key and looked up at him.

“G.”

“Good! Shion, can you play an E for me?”

Shion glanced over the keys in front of him and cautiously pressed one of them.

“That’s right! Okay, let’s try this…” Safu reached up and grabbed a piece of staff paper from the pile of music books on top of the piano, marked down a few notes in pencil, and set it up in front of them. “Both of you, try out this line here.”

Shion and Nezumi simultaneously tried out the hastily written notes, slow and out of sync, but still accurate.

“Good! You’re getting it!”

“So what are the other kind of minor?” Shion asked.

Safu laughed. “Fine, I’ll tell you now since you’re so curious. There are three kinds of minor. First is natural minor.” She quickly played up and down a scale. “Then there’s harmonic minor.” She played another scale, one that sounded a bit different. “And last is melodic minor.”

As soon as she finished the last scale, Shion frowned. “You didn’t play it the same way going back down.”

“That’s right. Melodic minor, aside from the third, is played like a major scale going up. Going down, though, it’s natural minor.”

A faint smirk appeared on Nezumi’s face. “How deceitful. You can’t even trust music not to trick you.”

“I think that’s taking the concept a little far. It’s just a part of music theory. Music itself isn’t trying to deceive you,” Safu replied.

“Is there more than one type of major scale, then?” Shion asked.

“No, it’s always the same one.”

Nezumi’s smirk widened. “It’s an awful lot like real life, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?” Safu asked.

“Well, we use music to express ourselves, right? In general, we use major keys to express happiness. But then minor isn’t just sadness. Natural minor sounds a bit like anger and discord, right? Harmonic minor sort of puts you on edge. And melodic minor… tricks you. You think you’re listening to something happy, but then you’re sort of lost in this mix of emotions, and in the end it’s harsh and ugly compared to what you were expecting.”

Shion stared up at him. “You’re taking this a little far, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m onto something.”

“I think you’re just being ridiculous.”

“And I think you’re not thinking enough about it.”

Safu cleared her throat. “Okay, you two. I think that’s enough arguing for now. We’ve barely even started.”

Nezumi shrugged. “Just a thought, that’s all.”

They continued on with Safu’s lesson until the sun began to set. Safu reached for the lamp sitting on top of the piano, but paused.

“Oh, won’t your parents be worried about you?”

Nezumi looked out the window with a less than pleased expression. “I guess I should head home.” He looked over at Shion. “I bet your mom’s pretty worried.”

Shion looked down at the keys in front of him guiltily. “Yeah, she’s probably home waiting for me.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

They said their goodbyes to Safu and headed out into the cold.

“You don’t need to walk me home. I know my way there,” Shion told Nezumi.

“I’d rather make sure you get home.”

“Why?”

Nezumi smiled to himself. “Just worried about your albinism acting up, that’s all.” He looked over at Shion, who was shivering. “Want my jacket?”

Shion held his arms tighter across his chest and shook his head. “No. I’m letting you borrow it, remember?”

Nezumi shrugged. “Well, I offered.”

When they reached Shion’s house, Karan greeted her son with a warm hug.

“I was getting so worried! Where were you? Where’s your coat? You’re freezing!”

“I was at Safu’s and I forgot it at school,” Shion answered, trapped in her embrace.

Nezumi gave Karan a smile but didn’t step inside. Instead he silently mouthed to her, “Keep an eye on him,” and waved goodbye. “See you tomorrow, Shion,” he said aloud.

“Huh?” Shion turned around when his mother let go in time to see Nezumi closing the door. “Oh. Bye.”


	22. Chapter 22

“Where have you been?”

Nezumi fought not to scowl as he shut the front door behind himself and instead wore a polite smile. “A friend’s house, ma’am.”

“You need to tell one of us before you go off doing anything else. We can’t have you getting into any trouble. You only just got here, after all.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Hoping to end their conversation while it was brief, Nezumi gave a single nod and started for the basement door to head to his own room.

“Dinner’s soon. Less than an hour. We’re having fish.”

Before he could stop himself, Nezumi grimaced in disgust.

“Is that a problem, Nezumi?”

He faked a small smile and shook his head. “Not at all. Sounds great. May I go to my room now?”

“Yes, you may.”

Nezumi retreated to his room as soon as he was dismissed, scowling once he was out of sight. The last thing he wanted to do was eat one of his least favorite foods, and it was only a reminder of how much he was a stranger in his own home.

_Maybe I’ll pretend to be sick._

He shut himself away downstairs and plugged in the string of lights rather than turning on the overhead light. With a heavy sigh, he flopped down onto his bed.

_I still can’t tell if Shion was really going to do it. I thought I could read him and I can’t. I can’t even be sure I’ll catch him if this happens again._

Nezumi closed his eyes, becoming all too aware of the heaviness in his chest.

_It’s a curse. Bad luck. Karma. Something. I don’t know what._

A weight in his stomach added to the unpleasant feeling as another thought voiced itself in his mind.

_Everyone keeps leaving you. Everyone you care about dies. Why bother hoping it’ll stop?_

_No, I don’t want to think about that. I can’t stand it._

_But it’s true and you know it. Care about Shion enough and he’ll be just like everyone else. It’s only chance that today wasn’t the day._

“Shut up!”

Nezumi opened his eyes when the sound of his own voice filled his ears. His breathing had quickened and his hands were shaking.

_No, I don’t care. I don’t care about him. I just have to get through my own life. Getting attached will only end badly._

He shut his eyes again and focused on evening out his breath. His heart seemed too loud in the quiet of his room. It was a silence that made him want to scream.

_But screaming doesn’t help anything. It only makes things worse._

He took a deep breath, paused, and let it out in a heavy exhale instead.

_I don’t need to lose it over this. Or over anything. I’m fine._

“Nezumi, time for dinner!” a voice called down the stairs.

Very reluctantly, Nezumi got up and left his room. He climbed the stairs, went to the dining table, and sat down at his place. He looked down at his dinner, frowning.

“Nezumi?”

He looked up to see everyone else with their hands together on the table, prepared to say grace. Nezumi unwillingly joined hands with the man who was temporarily acting as his father and the boy he absolutely loathed.

“For this and all we are about to receive…”

Nezumi clenched his teeth when he felt the sharp jab of a fingernail digging into his skin. He tuned out the rest of the prayer as he tried not to lash out.

“…Amen.”

He slapped away the offending hand before the word was even finished and while everyone else still had their eyes closed. He picked up his fork and poked at the food on his plate without taking a bite.

“So, Nezumi, who’s this friend you were visiting today?”

He looked up across the table at the woman who’d spoken, using the opportunity to ignore his dinner. “One of my classmates.”

“And what’s his name?”

“Her name’s Safu.”

“A girl? Isn’t it a little soon to be getting a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t plan on dating her, either.”

“You say that now…”

Nezumi fought the urge to roll his eyes. “No girlfriends anytime soon, I swear. I’m pretty sure she’s interested in someone else, anyway.”

“So you were just hanging out with a girl at her house?”

“Shion was there, too.”

“Ha, you’re still hanging around  _him?”_

Nezumi did end up rolling his eyes at the condescending question. “Yes, I’m still hanging around him. You really don’t need to put him down every time he’s brought up.”

“Hey, I’m not putting him down! We’re friends, too, you know! I even talked to him today!”

Nezumi set down his fork and narrowed his eyes. “You did, huh?”

“Sure! We kid around sometimes! He’s hilarious!”

“Really.”

He waited until the other had taken another bite of food, then kicked his shin as hard as he could without it being noticeable above the table. The other choked for a second and swallowed hard, his face turning red.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“Yeah, mom— fine—”

“May I be excused?” Nezumi asked.

The other three looked over at him in question.

“You’ve barely touched your dinner.”

“I’m not really feeling well right now.”

“…Well, alright. I’ll put your plate in the fridge for you to finish later.”

Without another word, Nezumi got up and left the room.

His mind was immediately bombarded with violent thoughts he could hardly contain. In an instant, he could imagine half a dozen ways to end the boy’s life right then and there.

_I need to stop. I need to calm down. I can’t lose it like this._

He went back into his room, grabbed one of the books off his desk, and settled down on his bed. He opened up the worn novel and flipped through the pages, stopping on one that had been folded at the corner. His fingers traced over the cursive that ran along the side of the text in faded blue ink.

_“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”_

His eyes scanned the quote again and again until he felt his pulse beginning to calm down.

_I just need to forget how much that piece of shit pisses me off. Things turned out okay. I don’t need to beat the fuck out of him. That won’t help._

When the words in front of him became a blur, Nezumi set down the book on his chest and closed his eyes. Now that he was in a relatively peaceful state, he could feel exactly how exhausted he was. It was only a matter of minutes before he was fast asleep.

_With an overwhelming sense of fear, he fled the house. It wasn’t what was left in the house that frightened him, but rather whatever was about to happen._

Run. Run and don’t go back. There’s nothing to go back to now.

_He ran as far as his legs would take him until he had to slow to a walk. It still wasn’t far enough._

I can’t stop. Not yet. The further away I get, the better chance I have of getting away.

_The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon, beginning a new day, the first day of truly being alone in the world._

_For hours, he simply walked. He didn’t have a destination in mind, just a direction. It wasn’t until the sun was approaching the center of the sky that he began searching for a place to stop._

Water. I need water. I’m so thirsty.

_Time dragged on as he forced himself to keep moving. He reached an unfamiliar gas station sometime after noon and quickly went inside. Without a second to waste, he rushed over to a cooler filled with bottles, grabbed one, and darted out of the store. He pushed himself to run for as long as he could before stopping in a place that was relatively out of sight. At last, he sat down and opened his drink._

_The cool liquid felt like heaven in his parched throat. He took in another gulp, then another and another, until he’d downed every last drop. But his relief was only momentary. His stomach cramped horribly, making him curl forward and vomit onto the ground in front of him. It burned his throat and his nose and tears blurred his vision. His head ached with each pulse of his pounding heart. He felt weak and sick. It was enough to make him break down and cry._

I can’t do this, I can’t… I just want them back…

_The horrid taste in his mouth and the tears made it difficult to breathe. He tried to inhale, but couldn’t._

Nezumi awoke with a start and gasped for air. The wet warmth on his cheeks made it clear that he’d actually ended up crying in his sleep. He wiped them away with his sleeve.

_I hate this. I hate that it keeps happening. Why can’t I just sleep like a normal person?_

He sat up, sniffled, and let out a soft sigh. Going back to sleep right away would either be difficult or end up picking up where he’d left off in his miserable dream of a memory.

Nezumi picked out the worn, gray blanket from the covers on his bed and wrapped it around himself. It didn’t solve anything, but it was always comforting. The silence that left the room feeling unnaturally cold and hollow still left him feeling miserable.

_Maybe I could just go over to Shion’s place._

He glanced over at the clock on the desk to see that it was much too late to be going anywhere, especially on a school night.

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself and got back under the covers, scolding himself for thinking of something so stupid in the first place.


	23. Chapter 23

The minute Shion set foot in the school building, he was engulfed in a warm hug. Had he not realized right away that it was Safu’s arms that were tightly wrapped around him, he would have panicked.

“U-Um, morning, Safu,” he stammered out after his moment of shock.

She pulled back to look at him with a smile but kept her hands on his shoulders. “Good morning, Shion.”

He hesitantly smiled back. He really had no idea what to do in this situation. “So, um. Why the hug?”

“Because I’m happy to see you,” Safu answered simply.

Shion looked down at the tile floor that had been dirtied by hundred of footsteps, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he momentarily became lost in his thoughts.

After a few seconds of no response from Shion, she continued on. “…I was worried about you.”

He met Safu’s gaze again. “Worried? Why? Did you think I’d kill myself after I left your place?”

She put her hands on her hips and gave Shion a stubborn sort of frown. “Well, of course I’d be worried about that possibility! Wasn’t that what you were thinking of doing when you went to that bridge yesterday?”

Shion nervously ran his fingers through his hair and averted his eyes. “I… Well, yeah, that was the idea…”

“Promise me you won’t.”

Shion blinked and looked at Safu. “What?”

“Promise me you won’t kill yourself,” she stated again, just as clearly as the first time.

“I…  _Ever?”_  Shion asked, looking a bit distressed to be put on the spot like this.

Safu nodded. “As long as I live, I don’t want to ever see you do something like that to yourself. So, do you promise you won’t do it?”

After a moment of hesitation, Shion nodded. “Yeah, I promise.”

The smile was back on Safu’s face. “Good.” She stood on her tiptoes for a second and pressed a quick kiss to Shion’s cheek. “I have to get to class. I’ll see you later,” she said before heading off down the crowded hall.

Shion stared after her and gingerly touched his fingertips to where Safu had kissed him. It felt warm there, but he soon realized the rest of his face felt awfully warm as well.

_What exactly does a kiss like that mean, anyway?_

Shion was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts when someone shouldered him out of the way.

“Get out of the way,  _idiot_.”

Shion only smiled to himself and walked towards the room he had his first class of the day, feeling too happy to be put down by the words of a random student in the hall. All the looks he received and comments whispered around him hardly seemed to bother him at all.

Once his first class was over, he met up with Nezumi to go to gym together.

“Hi, Nezumi,” Shion greeted with a small smile.

“Well, don’t you seem happy today,” Nezumi commented as they walked to the locker room.

Shion glanced from Nezumi to everywhere else in the hall. “Do I?” he asked, the words coming out a bit awkwardly.

“Yeah. You’ve got this look in your eye. Not sure exactly what it is, though.”

Shion looked up at Nezumi with raised eyebrows. “I’ve got something in my eye?”

Nezumi made a face back at him for a second. “No, I said you’ve got— Never mind, fuck it.”

“Okay,” Shion said with a small nod and looked ahead again.

Amazingly enough, their gym class didn’t involve any traumatic experiences, and with Nezumi staying nearby, no one even came close to Shion. The class actually seemed doable for once. Even after the period was over and they were done dressing back into their regular clothes, Shion was still just as cheerful as before.

Nezumi still stayed by Shion’s side as they headed to the cafeteria. Neither attempted to start a conversation while in the noisy line, both knowing it would be useless. After they got their lunches, they sat down at an empty table together. While Shion started on his lunch right away, Nezumi left his food untouched and instead spoke up.

“Shion, I don’t know what you’re acting happy about, but we need to have a talk about something.”

Shion raised his eyebrows at Nezumi. “Huh? About what?”

Nezumi frowned. “About yesterday. What else?”

Shion looked down at his food again and shrugged slightly. “Ah, I don’t know…”

“Shion, look at me.”

Reluctantly, he returned his gaze to Nezumi instead of his lunch.

“I don’t know if you’re actually happy or you’re just acting that way to throw the rest of us off. If it were me, I’d make everyone think I was totally fine when I was actually on the verge of totally losing it.”

Shion stared back at Nezumi’s intense gaze. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

“If that’s not the case, good. I hope you’re happy. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

“Okay… Then what?”

“You need to understand what you were about to do yesterday. Did you think about what your decision would have done to the rest of the world? How your mother would feel? How your friends would feel? What about the people in your future? What if there’s someone who’s supposed to love you more than anyone else who’ll never get the chance to?” Nezumi’s eyes never strayed from Shion’s face, not even for a second.

Shion glanced down at his lunch rather than at Nezumi’s eyes. “Why are you talking about this now?”

“Because you were irrational yesterday and I want you to  _really_  think about these things. I was going to wait until later to talk to you about it, but you’ve been acting strangely all morning, so we’re talking about it now.”

Shion fell silent.

Nezumi leaned closer to get a look at Shion’s face. “…Shion, answer me honestly. What would your mother do if you killed yourself?”

Shion turned his head away a bit and looked down at the floor. “I… don’t want to say that out loud,” he answered quietly.

“At least think about it. Think about how she’d react to hearing the news from the police after they’d finally found your body. Think of what she’d do with your guitar. Think about how she’d think of you every night for the rest of her life rather than get any real sleep. Think about how every morning, she’d sit at the table with her morning coffee and stare at the chair across from her, thinking about how you should be there in the kitchen with her, not in a grave. Think about how she’d lose count of the times she’s cried over you, but never the number of days it’s been since you were alive.”

Nezumi’s words left a tight feeling in Shion’s throat and a heaviness in his chest. He sniffled and stared up at the ceiling in an effort not to cry.

Nezumi didn’t say anything for a long moment. “…You understand now?”

“I wanna throw up,” Shion replied hoarsely.

Nezumi placed his hand on Shion’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you  _that_  upset. Well… maybe I did. I just wanted you to think about the consequences of what you were planning on doing yesterday.”

Shion nodded and wiped his eye with the edge of his sleeve.

“And you won’t want to throw up if you just eat your lunch. I’m sure having an empty stomach isn’t helping anything.” Nezumi reached up and lightly ruffled Shion’s hair.

“Nezumi?”

“Yes?”

Shion held out his hand. A moment later, Nezumi took it in his own. Shion let out a small sigh and returned to eating his lunch and Nezumi started on his own. They stayed that way for a while, eating their lunches in silence with their joined hands hidden between them.

“So, are you going to tell me why you seemed so happy earlier?” Nezumi asked after a couple minutes.

Shion nodded and swallowed his bite of food. “Safu said hi to me this morning.”

Nezumi laughed. “That’s it? She just said hello and that kept you going for hours?”

“Well…” Shion shrugged a bit and smiled to himself for a second. “Yeah, that’s about it.”

“Jeez, you’re as weird as ever.”

Shion just smiled again and continued to eat his lunch.

They didn’t talk much after that. Shion thought over everything that Nezumi had told him as he ate, trying to see things from his mother’s perspective as Nezumi had suggested. It did change things for him at least a little bit. He didn’t want to make his mother cry anymore than he already had if he could help it. Shion loved her too much to do that knowingly.

Once their lunchtime ended, they parted ways, Nezumi heading to his next class and Shion heading to the music hall. Just as Shion got himself settled in the practice room with his guitar, he heard the door open.

“Shion?”

He looked up to see Safu standing in the doorway of the practice room. “Yeah?” he asked.

“Are you doing anything on Saturday?”

“No. Why?”

Safu smiled and stepped into the room. “I’m going to a concert that afternoon. It’s the university’s symphony orchestra playing a Vivaldi concert. They’re playing The Four Seasons this time. I usually go with one of my friends from the youth orchestra, but I wanted to ask you first. Have you ever been to a concert before?”

Shion shook his head. “Never.”

Safu smiled even more. “Then of  _course_  you have to go! I think everyone should experience a concert at least once in their life.”

“I don’t have any money.”

Safu shook her head. “It’s the university orchestra, so it’s free. I’ll even pay for your bus fare.”

“Well…” Shion thought it all over for a moment, then nodded. He really had no reason to turn down Safu’s offer. “Okay, I’ll go.”

Safu smiled and nodded. “Great.”

“Oh, ah… Safu? What was that kiss about this morning?”

Safu’s cheeks flushed a soft pink and her eyes widened. “Oh, that was—” The bell signaling the start of the period rang, cutting her off before she could actually start. “Ah, sorry, Shion! I’ll talk to you later.”

Shion watched her quickly leave the practice room and stared at the door even after it had been shut. Once more, he was left with a smile on his face.


End file.
